|
Post by thewanderingwarrior on Aug 25, 2015 15:53:20 GMT -6
Name:Kenta Wilson
Class:Myrmidon Age:19 Born in:Saecan Appearance:Dark Grey hair, Blue eyes, Wears a dark green short sleeved shirt with a black under shirt, dark blue pants, Short Brown Boots.
Personality:Quiet, Shy, Not Angered easily, doesn't accept the loss of innocent people.
Story:Growing up in the City of Heroes, Kenta trained to be a great warrior, like his father and grandfather. Before long, his family was attacked when they went on a trip. His father, mother, and sister we're killed. Kenta then wanted to train more to defeat the ones who killed his family, which he did with his grandfather. His Grandpa soon got sick and died, because his "Wife" poisoned his drink. Kenta soon couldn't take anymore losses of innocent people or the ones he loves. So he set out to find the army and join them. Kenta believes that he has a power passed down from his family bloodline that needs to be awakened.
|
|
|
Post by Richter Abend on Aug 25, 2015 16:12:52 GMT -6
A couple of things:
-The City of Heroes has been around for roughly 6-7 years now. But as long as you're OK with Kenta and his family moving the City of Heroes in his early teens, that's not a problem. -Why is "wife" in quotes? I feel like there is a story there. -What army is he joining? Sacae doesn't have an army. Is he going to a neighboring nation?
|
|
|
Post by thewanderingwarrior on Aug 25, 2015 16:49:30 GMT -6
answers:
1. "Wife" meaning just a spy who looks like his wife. 2. yes, he's going to a neighboring nation.
|
|
|
Post by thewanderingwarrior on Aug 25, 2015 16:50:19 GMT -6
also he moved there when he was 12, so roughly 7 years.
|
|
|
Post by Richter Abend on Aug 26, 2015 12:55:19 GMT -6
You might need to expand on that wife bit in your profile. Why is his grandfather married to a spy? Why is she trying to kill him? Is the grandfather important?
|
|
|
Post by thewanderingwarrior on Aug 26, 2015 13:35:55 GMT -6
Grandpa's wife. They we're dating since they we're 17, and got married at 21. She was on a mission from a group known as the killing shadows to fulfill her fathers duty and save her little brother from getting killed by them.
And yes, grandfather showed him how to use swords and such, like he did with his son. They trained when they had time, which was in the morning.
|
|
|
Post by Richter Abend on Aug 26, 2015 13:49:54 GMT -6
So the "wife" is Kenta's wife? How were they married at 21 if Kenta is 19? This is all very disjointed and confusing the way you've presented it.
The point of a character profile is to cover all the important points about a character's story so we know it fits into the site. Since you clearly have more in your mind that you haven't put in the profile, please give me a rewrite of the original application with a full breakdown of:
-Why/How Kenta's family was killed -Why Kenta's grandfather was killed -The details of this mysterious "wife" character
And we'll go from there.
|
|
|
Post by thewanderingwarrior on Aug 26, 2015 14:19:03 GMT -6
i meant to put grandfather.
Why/How Kenta's family got killed? an attack group from the Killing Shadows used a throwing knife to kill Mother, His father was split across the middle and a knife to his neck. And his sister was stabbed with the metal tip of an arrow 7 times.
Why Kenta's grandfather got killed? Grandpa's wife had only 3 days to kill him before her brother got killed, so she poisoned his drink while Kenta was sleeping, and left while he was dying from the poison.
|
|
Kyle
Nomad
Why must people ruin my jobs?
Posts: 148
Profession: Hired bow.
Affiliation: None
Guild: Yes
Affinity: Wind
OoC Alias: E
|
Post by Kyle on Aug 26, 2015 14:21:26 GMT -6
I believe he may have meant for you to edit it all into your original post, so it is easier to read all of the information.
|
|
|
Post by thewanderingwarrior on Aug 26, 2015 14:24:42 GMT -6
exactly what Kyle said before the second info post.
|
|
|
Post by thewanderingwarrior on Aug 26, 2015 14:29:25 GMT -6
The "Wife" Character is an assassin named Agnes, who had wanted to kill His Grandfather, Whose name is Erick, to get the reward she wanted to obtain: Her brother. She called in assassins to kill Kenta's family so they don't suspect Erick's death leading to her in the aftermath.
|
|
|
Post by Richter Abend on Aug 27, 2015 8:55:08 GMT -6
Ok, so, again, I want this all to be put into the original post before I accept it.
Nevertheless:
-The Killing Shadows killed Kenta's family to cover up her killing of Erick. Why? How does a family's brutal murdering at the hands of brigands cover up some guy getting getting sick and dying? Doesn't that actually make things more suspicious? And if she's actually part of a league of assassins, wouldn't she just disappear after killing him? Why would it matter if some Sacaens know she killed Erick? -Why is Erick so important that Agnes's dad wants him killed, and is using her younger brother as leverage to get it done? -Agnes, Kenta's grandmother, works for the Killing Shadows. How did she get involved with the Killing Shadows? Did she work for the Killing Shadows back when she first got married to Erick? If so, was her killing him in the cards all along? Why did she wait so many years to kill him?
|
|
|
Post by thewanderingwarrior on Aug 27, 2015 12:00:49 GMT -6
1. So Kenta could Mourn more, and end up committing suicide. Erick was a 12 time sword to sword combat tournament, making him one of the greatest warriors and heroes in Sacaens, so it would end up letting the assassins burn the city if the Sacaens took hostages who worked for the Killing Shadows.
2. Erick was responsible for killing his sister, brother, and mother. Agnes learned this once he was killed by the right hand man of the leader. She didn't want to help them, but her brother had gotten kidnapped and taken hostage. They threatened to kill him if she didn't Oblige.
3. Agnes wanted nothing to do with the Killing Shadows, but her father got killed, and she was too hungry to pass up a paying job. Her brother was at stake as well. So she met him, married him, and eventually killed him to save her brother. She waited for the right time for it to happen. So she did all she could to convince a proposal to him. The following years, she poisoned him and left him to die.
Hopefully that explains everything.
|
|
|
Post by Richter Abend on Aug 27, 2015 12:33:19 GMT -6
1a. Why do they want Kenta to commit suicide? Why not just kill him? 1b. How does Erick being dead make let the assassins burn the city if Killing Shadows people are taken hostage? 1c. Why would the Sacaens take any hostages? Is there going to be a battle? 1d. There are far bigger fish to fry in the City of Heroes than Erick, namely Kenshin, the Crimson Demon of Sacae, who is widely regarded as one of the finest, if not the finest swordsman in Sacae. If the Killing Shadows hadn't considered him in their plan to burn the city, then it was doomed to begin with.
2. Agnes learned this once WHO was killed by the right hand man of the leader?
3. I'm going to take into account 3 things: -That Erick and Agnes are roughly the same age -That Kenta is 19 -That Agnes is, at the bare minimum 56 years old, though I'd imagine that something like 65 is more likely.
So that said, why did Agnes wait 35+ years to kill Erick? Why not just kill him outright?
|
|
|
Post by thewanderingwarrior on Aug 27, 2015 15:34:00 GMT -6
answers:
1a. they like to see their victims suffer. 1b. Erick wouldn't be able to stop him, he had a group that he led, they disbanded once he and Kenta's father died. some people can be careless about the future, so they'll go for hostages. 1c. the hostages for the start of a big battle, would continue on to war. 1d. yes, that was what i was going for.
2. Her father.
3. she was training with her cousin when her father got killed. if she would have left any blood and tried to hide the body, someone would be able to tell he was stabbed or something. then that would have lead straight to her if they put it all together.
|
|