|
Post by Nayru Al-Saiduq on May 6, 2017 2:01:03 GMT -6
Nayru felt like she was supposed to be happy - Shara had won, the big bad had been vanquished, village was safe, no collateral damage, yay love and justice!
She sure didn't feel like it, though.
Aint crap going to bring Tess and Kara back, Ragnis sure as hell wasn't standing back up after what Shara had done to him, and Shara... well, put bluntly she looked like SHE was the one who had lost, and Nayru wasn't sure she could blame her. Nayru was aware that she had seen more of Shara than most already, but even so the other dragon had always tried to keep her at arms length, and from what little she saw in how the blonde woman treated others, Shara kept others far, far further away, across an infinite desert shrouded in a sandstorm without some magic key to walk through it. Nayru wouldn't have accused the girl of being heartless or soulless or cruel by any means, but it was in the little moments of briefly viewed interaction that she had seen how much Shara tried to detach herself from... she didn't know exactly. Bonds, or emotional links to others, or whatever. But it hadn't worked out here, and Shara was, well, Nayru wasn't a mind reader but uh she was pretty sure Shara was feeling the burn of having those budding relationships ripped out of her just when she had been trying to open up - a struggle the divine dragon knew all too personally.
And now this, having to deal with the aftermath... well. Wasn't right for one girl to have to handle all that in one day. Looking not at all as shocked and awed as she probably should have if she was focusing on protecting her own cover, Nayru simply strode through the dissipating dust and smoke towards her fallen counterpart - friend - placing her hand on Shara's shoulder with a mixture of gentle firmness. There was... nothing she could say to the blonde woman. Nothing that would make this right. Nothing that would make the pain go away. Nayru had never been in this exact position before, but she knew what it was like to shift back to human and witness a scoured wasteland, its only fruit the stench of one's own failure to protect that which they held dear. To realize that even with power that any human alive could but dream of, it still wasn't enough; that not even the thickest scales could defend you from your own heart.
But there was something she could do.
"Someone," and the word came harsh and sour, almost spat out as she stared at Bran, daring him to open his f**k**g mouth again about how they deserved it, "burned Tess and Kara alive in their own home." She wouldn't name Bran directly. She... couldn't. Too many lives had been lost today on misplaced accusations, and even if Bran was a worthless piece of human refuse, she wasn't going to outright state it was him. Not without proof. Even if she was pretty sure it was him. "-And Ragnis wanted answers from the man whose bottle he found at the scene of the crime." There would be time for inquiry and blame later. And if anyone asked Nayru's opinion, she was pretty sure she would be OK with Bran being strung up that eve, proof or no. But it wasn't her place to make that decision, and there were more pressing matters. She had a... minor... crisis to avert.
So the dragon swung her gaze to the rest of the crowd, not singling anyone out, though clearly answering Harold's question along the way. "Ragnis fought and bled for all of you, ripping the Mauthe Doogs plaguing you apart. And Shara," she continued, her voice raising in volume and projection, "fought and bled against the beasts, and then again to protect you from a man maddened by the loss of his family. She put her life on the line for people she didn't even know." She inclined her head to pierce Bran with her gaze, speaking directly to him now. "I think you should be thanking her for saving your life," and again she turned back to the crowd, "and whatever you think you know of either Ragnis or Shara, remember this - they both shed blood for you tonight. She's not a monster, she's a god damned hero."
|
|
|
Post by Shara Tiinedra on May 6, 2017 20:37:07 GMT -6
A virulent tempest had taken hold of Shara, and she knew not how to vanquish it. She didn't sob much, not audibly, but her shoulders rose and fell noticeably with her labored breathing. From physical and emotional exhaustion alike. The dragoness had squeezed her eyes shut, as if to try and stop further tears from escaping, but she had failed.
Shara had heard the chatter. The shouting of a man, lost to his own fury and grief much like Ragnis had been. The bewilderment of his calmer counterpart. The mumbling of the crowd, but her mind couldn't keep hold of any specifics. Words were lost to Shara, and instead her mind fumbled about. Overwhelmed by the pain that assailed her heart, the only thought that seemed to linger strongly was: “Why?”
Then she felt a hand on her shoulder. Firm, yet reassuring. Blinking away further tears, Shara turned her red, tired eyes up to Nayru. Neither dragoness spoke, but that touch was...enough to bring Shara back into her surroundings. At least a little. Beyond the dust and destruction that surrounded herself and Ragnis' corpse.
The village was safe and, of course, staying at an equally safe distance from the scene of the battle, were the villagers themselves. Bran...the man directly responsible for the tragedy that had just transpired. The more reasonable, but bewildered Harold...and many more still. They weren't just voices in the back of her mind. They had names and faces, all of which could have been lost if Shara hadn't been able to stop Ragnis.
All of whom could have been lost if Ragnis hadn't expressed his interest in eliminating the monster threat in the area.
But Nayru put it all better than she herself could, at least in that moment. The frightened, confused, and otherwise shocked villagers listened to her intently before looking among them. Harold's gaze, in particular, turned from the females and over to Bran. The other villagers still wouldn't know about his actions, but Harold had heard Ragnis' accusations. He'd heard Bran's confession himself. Even if Nayru didn't directly accuse Bran during her speech, he knew all too well what the truth was...
“I see...” Harold seemed genuinely moved by Nayru's speech. He raised a hand to wipe his forehead and let out a large sigh. “We do owe you a great debt, for saving our village from the monsters and Ragnis, but I...Honestly, I don't even know what to think right now.” His words were genuine. If the village had a proper leader, some sort of chief or magistrate, they seemed to be absent altogether. Perhaps they were in the crowd, but simply knew not what to do. Thankfully Harold turned towards the crowd.
“But I do know that crowding around here, jabbering and staring will do nothing for us. The guard will investigate this. We'll report everything to Uriel, and we will uncover all that we-”
“The hell we will. You expectin' us to just work through the day as usual?” Bran, of course Bran, stepped up to Harold with a stern glare. “There's another damned monster we need to deal with. Hell they probably all are. And-”
“Shut the hell up, Bran!” Harold spat right back, startling the older man as he stepped forward. “She wouldn't have nearly gotten herself killed if she wanted us dead, you fool! Besides, you saw what they're capable of. What the hell are you going to do, if your big damned mouth makes them snap?!”
The bickering...seemed to continue from there. More villagers stepped in, but most gradually did fade back into the village. Without having seen the full fight, or the context behind it, they probably just didn't know how to react at all. Or what they should do about it.
When all else failed, one simply went back to what they knew. These people were farmers, wood workers, and so forth. Shara once looked down upon people who settled for such professions, and while perhaps their chosen path left them with very limited world views or knowledge...she had to admire their resilience.
None of these men or women screamed, or cried, or broke down. Most seemed to know that, whatever had occurred, was far beyond them. They wouldn't run away from the only home they knew, nor would they waste the day simply gawking at the impossible...
Shara almost found it in herself to envy them...but that feeling alone was enough to make her realize that she had collected herself. The sorrow had not passed wholly, but Shara simply had no more tears to weep. She'd cried herself out, to the point of absolute exhaustion, and only stood up when nearly all but Harold and Bran returned to the village.
“...You need to bury him.” Her voice was hoarse. Strained from the battle, the shouting, and the crying. But Shara was able to project it loud enough for Harold and Bran to hear.
“What, the mon-”
“He is NOT a monster.” Unfortunately she lacked the strength to shout, but she could still shoot Bran a harsh glare, taking a small step forward. Shara...Shara didn't know if she would be fine with killing Bran. Right then and there. As far as she was concerned enough lives had been lost that day. But if she could threaten the fool into silence, at least until she finished speaking, then she would gladly use the fact that he knew her true form against him.
“He was not a monster. He wasn't a monster when he first came to your village. He wasn't a monster when he helped us slay those monsters in the woods...and even as he died here, he was not a monster...”
Shara turned her gaze back, behind her, to Ragnis' motionless form.
“He was a father...and he deserves to be buried with his family.” Shara wanted to add on that he was a hero. A being, dragon or not, who had the courage to face down monsters that could kill the average man in seconds. But...even ignoring his final acts, somehow Shara didn't think he would have wanted to be viewed that way.
Ragnis had just wanted to live with his family. He would have wanted nothing to do with a title like “hero”...
Harold and Bran were both silent. Even Bran had to understand that. It was family that had drove him to do what he did. Even if he failed to see Ragnis as a human, or a fellow villager...surely even he could see him as a father.
“She's right.” A woman stepped forward now, one of the few villagers who had lingered on. A young woman with hair like dark chocolate, she looked to be about the same age Tess had been. “If...if Tess and Kara are truly gone, then Ragnis deserves to be...” The woman couldn't finish her sentence, squeezing her eyes shut briefly before walking past Harold and Bran.
“Lucia...” Harold mumbled, before giving a nod of understanding. The woman, Lucia, stopped before Shara, Nayru, and Morrigan.
“I-It is true, isn't it? Tess and...oh gods, and Kara are...”
“...Yes.” Morrigan was the one who answered. She'd been reasonably silent throughout the majority of all this, and still seemed quite shaken by all that had transpired. Shara could not blame her. Morrigan may have signed on to slay some monsters, but she certainly hadn't signed on for this. Frankly, neither had Nayru...
“I-I see...” Lucia wiped her eyes and nodded. “I'm sorry, Tess was a childhood friend and...a-and...” She shook her head, doing her best to bite back sobs. These people...truly were stronger than Shara had ever given them credit for. Not just Tess and Kara.
Not just Ragnis.
Lucia took a few moments to compose herself before she continued on. “I don't know how well you knew either of them, but you must have known them if you knew Ragnis. Even if only a little.” Lucia nodded once more, as if to confirm her own thoughts. The young woman forced a smile before she continued. “And you all look to be in rough shape...I...I have some bandages, herbs, beds, and clean water at my home. If you need a rest, you're welcome to stay there for the day.”
Shara was speechless. Between all that had happened, and now this? Another act to baffle her beyond words and thought. More emotion to feed the maelstrom within. She merely stared at the woman, swaying a bit on her feet.
“I...” The dragoness stumbled forward, but her legs finally gave out completely. Shara didn't even feel herself hit the ground: she was already out cold.
|
|
|
Post by Nayru Al-Saiduq on May 7, 2017 1:13:32 GMT -6
It was hard to say that she definitely wouldn't have beaten the stuffing out of Bran if Shara hadn't taken care of that situation. Nayru was already stressed enough trying to do the whole 'hey let's make a random f**k**g speech' thing, she wasn't the leader of anyone, and while she definitely wasn't as directly emotionally connected to some aspects of the events, she was DEFINITELY emotionally invested in others. And, well, she was a dragon too. So on some general level she just didn't care for dragons being called monsters. There had been a time, and despite the short distance between points it already seemed long ago, that she had nearly decked Elly for talking about slaughtering dragons. To be fair, Nayru had been even... less emotionally stable then, but it wasn't like she had actually changed that much. It was just all out in the open now, mostly anyways, and she still had her, ah, anger issues to work through.
So turning Bran into a smear over the closest 50 feet thataways wasn't something that would have been far from her mind.
Standing as close as she had to Shara when the blonde dragoness finally collapsed, it wasn't too hard for Nayru to just grab her friend and stabilize the corpse PERFECTLY ALIVE BUT TEMPORARILY UNCONSCIOUS dragon lady, in a purely platonic and casual and absolutely not at all weird way. Wasn't the first time she'd had to stabilize a buddy whose body gave out; her and Veigue were f**k**g professionals at it. Hell, he'd halfway carried HER out of that burning village back when they met. Not that, uh, she had a big feeling that the villagers, or Morrigan, or Shara would empathize with that too well. Dammit. Where was a moody Sacaen swordsman when you needed one? Gotta be the straight man to her, uh, well, calling it a comedy routine was stretching it a bit. But empathizing about dumb crap aside, the dark haired chick, Lucia the name was, seemed to be able to empathize in a different way. Even if it was only because of their connection to Tess. But in the end, did it matter? People helped each other. That was something Nayru knew from her time spent becoming part of so many communities, even if it was the kind of thing Shara might have once scoffed at. Granted, they weren't from this community, but Tess and Kara and Ragnis had, and well, that worked out for them here eh?
"...Thank you, Lucia." Nayru did her best to smile genuinely, even if it came off a little lopsided, she wasn't so great at genuine gratitude these days it seemed - but it was there in her eyes nonetheless even if she reflexively tried to make light of it. She'd rather be dragged screaming the length and breadth of Nabata by a team of giant scorpions than admit she'd actually been THAT worried about Shara, but the bronzed dragon had not been particularly enthusiastic about the idea of carting her fallen friend across a couple dozen miles of bumfuck nowhere in order to find something comfortable. "Hero or not, Shara's going to need a bit of TLC and some rest after all that happened. She got torn up pretty bad by the Mauthe Doogs earlier too. Should be fine after some rest, she heals pretty fast." She, not we. Nayru didn't... DIStrust these people, exactly, but for the time being, she figured two dragons was all these people needed to be concerned about. Her and Morrigan were just... yanno, along for the ride.
And as for her, well, way Nayru saw it, her job was just to make sure this story ended the way it should. She chuckled and stared down at the blonde's lolling head for a second. "Alright princess," and with a huff and a puff and a fast but precise movement, she swept Shara off her feet, going for the bridal carry with a bit of a mischievous grin creeping on her face. Normally Nayru was pretty practical about these things, best folks would normally get was a fireman's carry if they didn't just get hefted over her shoulder like a sack of lumpy potatoes, but what the hell. Shara'd had a rough enough day already, and even if the ending here hadn't been perfect, at least they had both gotten to see some of the innate goodness of humanity today. It was a nice reminder for her - and, she hoped, something a lot more significant for Shara. "If you'll have us, miss, I'll take you up on that offer."
|
|
|
Post by Shara Tiinedra on May 7, 2017 18:27:08 GMT -6
Slowly, Shara managed to open her eyes. Wherever she was, naught but moonlight filtered in. She simply stared straight up at the ceiling, and did her best to gather her thoughts as her eyes adjusted to the darkness. Where was she? How did she...
“Ragnis...” It didn't take long for it to all come back to her. Just like before, Shara couldn't find any more grief or sorrow within herself. Thinking of Ragnis and her family, she just...felt hollow. Like something she once possessed had now been lost.
Shara moved to raise a hand to her head, but before she could slip it out from beneath the blanket, she felt waves of soreness assail her entire being. Well...at least the outright pain was gone, but she would definitely be feeling those aches for days to come. Even battle hardened dragons took time to heal still, and Shara was...very much out of practice.
Focusing on the fact that she had a blanket draped over her, and that moonlight poured in through a window, Shara could gather she was in a bedroom. One of Lucia's...that kind woman. Shara had fainted before she'd even been able to thank her for the offer. Assuming Morrigan and Nayru stuck around at all past that, Nayru had probably carried her to Lucia's house.
And if the moon was out, then Shara had slept the entire day away. Not surprising. She'd been tired before her battle with Ragnis, thanks to those Mauthe Doogs...
Part of Shara wanted to close her eyes and return to sleep. Really, she would stand to benefit from more. But now that she was awake, there were too many thoughts running rampant through her mind. Unanswered questions and...lingering regrets. There was no way she was going to fall back asleep with everything still weighing so heavily on her mind.
So Shara, with no small effort, tossed her blankets off of her body. She'd been redressed, wearing some sort of loose nightgown. Or perhaps just a long shirt. Made sense, her previous clothing wasn't exactly in good condition...it was also covered in the blood of two dragons, a few monsters, and well smoked to boot.
Heh...at least Shara was able to quietly fuss about clothing still. It was reassuring in the strangest way. It...it meant she'd be okay.
Slipping her legs over the side of the bed, Shara braced herself before standing up. The dragoness had expected to simply fall over. Really, her legs didn't feel too strong...but the sturdy bandaging along her more injured calf certainly seemed to help. After a moment of her world briefly spinning again, Shara was...fine.
...And then her eyes went wide with panic. Hastily Shara brought her hands to her neck and breathed a sigh of relief. She still wore her dragonstone. Tugging lightly along the necklace, Shara examined her stone to see if it'd been damaged at all. The amber gem still seemed rather burnt out, likely as a result of her going far and beyond her limits, but it was otherwise without any damage. Much like her human form, her draconic form was no doubt resting. Slumbering and healing...
Letting the necklace slip back down the collar of her shirt...gown...whatever, she slowly made her way to the bedroom door. The house seemed to be rather silent, everyone was probably asleep. It had been quite the long day for Nayru and Morrigan too, assuming they were in Lucia's house as well. As Shara made her way through the building, she noted that it was a fair bit larger than Ragnis' house had been. Lucky for the three of them, since it likely meant Lucia had rooms for them all.
After a bit of quiet wandering Shara made her way down the stairs and saw a door leading out of the house before her. And just before the door was a mat, where Shara saw her boots. The dragoness didn't want to disturb anyone in the house...and fresh air did sound nice. Perhaps it would help her clear her head.
So she slowly stepped into her boots and grasped the handle of the door.
|
|
|
Post by Nayru Al-Saiduq on May 7, 2017 21:06:31 GMT -6
There had been a... great deal of damage to the village that hadn't been evident from her earlier short visit to Ragnis's house along the the group. The Mauthe Doogs had been preying on this village for a while, and while they hadn't caused any massacres yet, they had certainly preyed on the animal - breaking fences, sometimes walls, and other relatively minor concerns. Well, minor for her. They had also killed livestock that were quite literally the livelihood of these people, which made it a lot bigger deal for them. Most of the smaller repairs had been effected by villagers over time - some of them doubtless by Ragnis himself; the thought was oddly sobering now - but some had not. Whether out of some misguided urge to be useful or just to get out of the house, Nayru had offered to help with repairs while she was hanging around and Shara was out anyways. So most of the remainder of the day had been carrying boards and nailing fences back together, sometimes cutting wood for a better fit or breaking it to get broken links out of a battered fence. It was oddly centering for her, the kind of menial, numbing work that just let her body take over while her mind was elsewhere.
The really big project had been the barn - after one of the biggest doog raids, killing a significant number of its population, the place had fallen into temporary disuse. As people pulled themselves back together in the wake of the dead Doogs it would have been a fantastic place to store cattle once again, but the damage had been severe enough, and the former owner dead from unrelated reasons, that no one had really gotten around to it and the problem had only worsened. So after getting started with a few aspiring villagers, Nayru had ended up spending most of her night working on that, alone after the rest went to sleep. One of the upsides of not needing to sleep as regularly, she supposed, and plenty of time to be alone with her thoughts. Whether THAT had been for the best or not was questionable, but even working alone - and now without anyone to keep a close eye on anything too abnormal she did - the dragon had managed to do a pretty danged impressive job of fixing the worst of the damage if she did say so herself. Sure, it wasn't good as new, THAT was a task that would take a whole crew days or weeks, but she'd fixed the holes, replaced damaged or rotted boards, and other simple repairs that could be done by one women with superhuman strength and no need to take breaks.
...She wasn't gonna clean up the cow crap, though. The good villagers could do THAT part on their own.
Nonetheless, it was somewhere in the late night or early morning - Nayru had pretty definitively lost track of time entirely hours ago, her best guess was that sunrise was MAYBE close, but there was no point in trying to sleep, and her more normal method of relaxing, meditating, would be a bit of a waste of time if there were only a few hours tops of rest to be had. So without any of her usual companions, or even the exasperating pink pegasus knight who had disappeared a few years ago now, Nayru the Arcadian dragon was leaning up against the front of Lucia's house, feeling a bit out of place but not really able to think of much better to be doing with her life right now. She was good for punching things, punching bad guys, and having long philosophical conversations with people - and none of the three were really relevant right now.
All in all she would have greeted f**k**g Kraft with a smile right about now, though Nayru was privately glad that it was a very different blonde whose visage she could barely see from the side - hey, dragon or no, she didn't have f**k**g laser vision in low light conditions. "Shara." Keeping her voice carefully neutral and NOT adding in the 'oh my god thank god something finally happened' that popped to mind, Nayru pushed off of the side of the house with a quiet smile. "How are you?"
|
|
|
Post by Shara Tiinedra on May 7, 2017 21:35:24 GMT -6
Shara had genuinely not expected to be spotted so swiftly. Let alone by Nayru. Almost as soon as she stepped out of the door the other dragoness greeted her with a small smile. Honestly, there was a part of Shara that felt a surge of relief at seeing Nayru. Perhaps the one being who could truly empathize with her whatsoever, and yet Shara just didn't have it in her to express that level of gratitude. Not even in her usual, nonchalant, backhanded manner.
Instead Shara just blinked at Nayru before giving her a small nod. A smile was...a bit beyond her, at best the corner of her mouth twitched as if trying to imitate Nayru, but Shara just couldn't do it.
“Good evening...I think.” She hoped. The sky didn't look QUITE so dark, though. Odds were it was very early morning rather than evening or late night. In which case Shara really did sleep the day away. “I'm fine, but quite sore, if I'm honest.” Shara was at least able to say with more certainty.
Honestly Shara was curious as to why Nayru was just...outside. She was still dressed in her usual garb, too. Had the other dragoness rested at all? Shara wondered why, but, perhaps it was none of her business.
It did lead the blonde to the amusing thought, though. That even after having witnessed her companion launch a bolt of bloody lightning so great that it obliterated a giant monster, Nayru's physical prowess could still impress Shara. And, for better or worse, there was no other emotion beyond simple awe to accompany it. That was not the case previously. Little, bitter things like envy had nipped at her. Such small issues seemed so meaningless, in retrospect. And unfounded and...unfair.
“I just...” Shara continued, shifting her weight a bit as she turned her gaze away from Nayru. She felt better, for sure, and little things could briefly distract her from her deeper, darker thoughts, but they crept back up on her as soon as silence sank in. “...I need some fresh air, and I...”
Yeeeeah, this was was uncomfortable. The more her mind worked against her, the more unfortunate and shameful memories assailed her. Not even the painful memories of doing battle with Ragnis, but rather...Shara couldn't remember the last time she wept in front of someone. Now Nayru had seen that. Nayru was likely the one who carried her unconscious ass to Lucia's.
Shara was not at all used to being made so vulnerable. Not emotionally, nor physically. Yet she didn't have the strength to push Nayru away...worse still, she didn't have the desire to.
So Shara mustered up what little strength she did have, and looked Nayru in the eyes. “I'd like to go for a walk. Would you...accompany me?”
Out of a mixture of genuine embarassment, minor frustration, and admitted impatience, Shara didn't exactly wait for a reply. She kept eye contact with Nayru for a moment before she proceeded to walk towards the direction of the village gates.
|
|
|
Post by Nayru Al-Saiduq on May 7, 2017 23:37:04 GMT -6
Heh. Sore. Yeah, she could imagine THAT bit. Took one to know one and all that, Nayru knew what it was like to detransform after an extremely strenuous battle with injuries. Not often, and Shara had it worse than she really had in that particular regard, but there was definitely an unfortunate familiarity to it. But uh... it didn't take a genius to see that bringing that up right now might not be the best of ideas. Shara was out of it to the point that she might not even notice getting punched in the face, not that Nayru planned on testing that, and she'd bet dollars to donuts that it had a little something to do with the events that had rocked the town so recently. So instead, "Well, it's good to see you," alongside a smile, was all Nayru offered in response to Shara's report on her physical state. Some things... were better left unsaid. And she might not be the most tactful missy ever but even she could tell usually when it would be kinda sorta inappropriate for a terrible joke.
Usually.
"Sure, Shara." And there were times when it was probably best not to argue, either. Besides, Nayru could think of plenty of worse ways to spend her morning than walking with someone she knew and liked. She didn't have the mind reading abilities to know what Shara was thinking - she might have been surprised to know that her guesses were pretty much completely off the mark - but it was clear that SOMETHING was bothering the blonde, and well. Friends were there for each other, right? It had been a while since she'd had many of those, but it was like riding a unicorn, you never forgot. Ok she hadn't ACTUALLY rode a unicorn but - whatever. Trying not to think about horny horses and bad jokes, Nayru followed the other dragon through the deserted, dusty village, enjoying the peace and quiet in her own way.
She was in no hurry to push Shara to talk about whatever was clearly bothering her, or bring up her own problems, or talk about what she'd been doing. Not that she was against any of those things, it's not like it was some big secret that Shara was obviously bothered as hell, but there was something nice about a bit of silent togetherness. She'd done it with Elly a few times, in the moments that the daft pink lovable blob ever shut up. She'd spent a fair bit of time with Veigue, each of them broken but kept in part together by their bond with each other. And while she was usually talking about some weird crap with Remus, she'd experienced that quiet understanding with him too. Sometimes there was nothing sweeter than the sound of silence.
|
|
|
Post by Shara Tiinedra on May 8, 2017 11:08:29 GMT -6
“Thank you, and it's good to see you too.”
Nayru didn't ask many questions, instead simply agreeing to Shara's request...and the blonde dragoness was grateful for that. Quietly, but that didn't make her gratitude any less genuine. So with a small nod Shara began to walk to the village gates, striding at a casual pace down the trail leading through the village.
After her initial silent at first, staring straight ahead as she walked. The darker thoughts that swarmed her mind persisted, and no matter how she tried she failed to break through them. To find clarity again. Really it was...rather nostalgic. The first she'd ever met Nayru had ended with her left feeling rather similarly. Perhaps not as intensely, no, but similarly.
Back then she'd simply had some of her world view pulled into question, mostly centered around herself. Her own self-image, and the direction she wanted to walk towards. Shara had been confronted with the fact that she didn't have a clear goal she was striving towards. Rather, instead she'd simply been wandering around...running away...gathering information and cutting all ties to anyone that she'd ever been close to.
Because...because that was easier than forging and maintaining those ties. She'd had to say to goodbye to family and friends before, for a variety of reasons and under a variety of circumstances. Maybe then, Shara had thought she was okay with that. The process was a natural one, especially given the longevity of her species.
...But maybe it hurt her more than she'd ever realized. Maybe that was why, after leaving her home on such poor terms, she had thrown herself at books. Maybe that was why as her time spent in Arcadia went on, she steadily spent less and less time with people she had considered “friends”.
...And that's why losing people who'd touched her heart in anyway, people she never pushed away first, left her feeling so damned lost.
Shara didn't have the strength for many things. She'd realized that over the past few weeks that she was far more lacking than she'd ever previously known. But on that night especially, she didn't have the strength to keep her act up any longer. She'd already let her vulnerability be shown to Nayru, and Nayru...Nayru hadn't betrayed that trust yet.
“...I feel lost.” Shara admitted, finally breaking the silence. The gates to the village were in sight by this point. She could see the torch lights of two guards burning in the night. “I have so many questions and...I have no idea how to answer them. Where to look. Or who to ask.”
Shara turned her gaze to Nayru and made eye contact once more. “Ragnis and his family were good people. I know you only knew them briefly but...surely you know this, too. To me, they...”
...No, not yet. They were too close to the village gates. Shara had reconciled the fact that she clearly needed to talk openly with someone, and that someone likely had to be Nayru. But she didn't want others to hear it. Even if they wouldn't understand, even if they wouldn't care, Shara just couldn't take that risk.
Another weakness.
Instead she stopped before the village gate, looking up at the two guards. One of them was Harold, and the other was...thankfully not Bran. More questions that needed answering, but frankly, Shara couldn't care about what had happened to, or would happen to, Bran.
“...I want to go to Ragnis and Tess' house.” Shara said plainly to the guards. Harold didn't say anything in return. For all his open-mindedness, witnessing a battle between dragons still likely had him rather rattled. Even Morrigan had been rather silent before Shara passed out, so she didn't hold anything against Harold.
Especially since he complied, signalling to his partner to pull the gates open.
“Thank you.”
Shara looked to Nayru once before she stepped on through the gates. If Nayru was the possible “who” required to answer Shara's questions, then perhaps the remains of the house was the “where”.
|
|
|
Post by Nayru Al-Saiduq on May 8, 2017 23:29:53 GMT -6
Yeaaa turned out that sometimes not sleeping or taking breaks was actually a pretty stupid idea. Who would have thought? She wasn't in soulrending pain or anything, but a bit sore as they strolled through the quiet village and Shara stayed wrapped up in herself. Nayru had been there before. She knew how confusing, overwhelming, it could be. Humans thought dragons were just monsters, but even the few humans who did know them as more... it wasn't to say that she didn't trust Veigue and Remus, but the difference in perspective was so vast that some things really just weren't possible to explain. So even if you were pretty well sorted out emotionally, you still didn't have an outlet for everything. And besides, how the f**k were you supposed to bring up things like "hey you're going to be dead in the equivalent of like, 2-3 years of my time?" to people you liked? So it just became... natural to try to deal with things internally. You HAD to. And in return, you lost the ability to open up to people.
-The sad part was that it had been so long since she was really able to do this that Nayru didn't know what to say to Shara either, though. Not without Shara explaining her thoughts, but uh, she got the feeling the blonde wasn't planning on doing that RIGHT NOW for whatever reason. Maybe she was just shy, or wanted to be dancing nude in the moonlit forest, or... ok that went in weird directions. It was clear that she was trying though, the way she walked, the way she looked around and at her, the way she stumbled over her words when she spoke, and Nayru wasn't going to piss on that. Yeah, Ragnis's death hadn't hit her like Veigue's would - but Shara had been a LOT closer to the guy, and Shara also definitely needed the support. For better or for worse, Nayru thought to herself with a sort of grinning-skull abandoned, she'd lost enough people she cared for, and had enough of them be her fault, that she couldn't really feel as much as she used to about loss.
-But Erim had had some choice words to say about running from her problems, hadn't she?
She didn't respond until they were out of the gates, though, Shara's attention and speech diverted by the presence of others. It wasn't some brilliant master plan to say the exact right thing, it had actually taken about that long to think of anything to really respond to that statement with. "...They were good people. They deserved better." Her voice was quiet and reserved, missing a bit of its usual bluster and open friendliness. For all her flaws and all her strengths, Nayru wasn't by any means immune to loss - and she still wasn't so great at handling her emotions. But bottling them all up inside entirely had... well, it had led to the last few hundred years of life for her. And that wasn't how it had been supposed to go.
|
|
|
Post by Shara Tiinedra on May 9, 2017 0:12:11 GMT -6
Shara nodded to Nayru's response. Since the blonde had chosen not to elaborate further, she didn't really expect much of a response at all...but it helped to anchor her mind from being lost amongst the ebbing tide of thoughts. That and the sight of the house, or the remains of it, as Shara continued to walk towards it.
“Mhm. But it's not just that.” The injustice of the situation alone wasn't enough to leave her so adrift. Shara recognized whole-heartedly how weak she was, now, but she knew she would have had the strength to simply bottle and endure these emotions if it had just been an unfortunate death. Perhaps, even just a month ago, she wouldn't have spared it a second thought.
“I told you before, when we first arrived at Ragnis' house...” Shara began, steadily piecing her words together. “That to me, they were like a slice of Arcadia, tucked away outside of the desert. You said that they were better. That they were an example of what Elibe could be like...a better Elibe.” The blonde dragoness gave a nod, as if to re-affirm her agreement with that statement. Nayru had only said that two days ago...yet it felt like so much longer.
“You were right. Even tucked away in this village, hidden from most of society, the simple fact that those two crossed a millennium's worth of hatred, and found love instead...and the fact that they are now gone...”
It was a waste. Shara didn't want to say it. It was harsh language, and even if accurate to how she thought, it didn't FEEL right. And as of late, Shara had begun to listen far more to how she felt on matters. Heh...it was probably why she was so lost. Feeling was terrifying. Confusing. But refusing to feel was worse. Far, far worse.
“...It's a tragedy.” Better. Shara began to make her way up the small hill. The charred, cracked beams of Tess' house loomed before the two dragons. “To the rare few who could have known, they would have been a shining example...and to me...”
Shara stopped, right before where the house's door once stood. “To me, they were a symbol of hope.”
She finally said it. Everything the dragoness had said until that point had been relevant, and genuine, but she'd also been stalling. As always she'd been hiding away from talking about what she desperately needed to share: how she felt. If she couldn't do it now, then Shara feared she never would. She'd revert to being the same person she'd been since before meeting Morrigan, or Nayru, or Ragnis and Tess.
Clenching the fabric of her long-shirt, she took a breath before turning to Nayru. “And I killed him. I...I know it was the right thing to do, but he was HOPE, Nayru. My hope.”
Her lips quivered briefly. Not from the threat of tears, but from fear. Shara know longer knew the words she'd speak before they came, and it was terrifying. “So what does this all mean? I...I can't believe that they can be gone for no reason at all. The idea of losing something so important, so precious and rare forever is...”
It wasn't just lives that were lost yesterday. Shara hoped she'd finally gotten that realization, that despair and worry across to her companion. It was something significant...something Shara wasn't sure could be replaced.
“It's just too sad.” She managed to whisper out.
|
|
|
Post by Nayru Al-Saiduq on May 9, 2017 15:22:36 GMT -6
Well, she had been sorta right, sorta wrong about Shara's deal, but it wasn't until the other dragoness opened up more, really got going, that Nayru really understood how deep it had hit her. It wasn't JUST Ragnis and Tess and Kara's deaths, it was what they meant as well. Conceptually and idealistically. They really had been a shining beacon of hope for Elibe - living proof that humans and dragons could coexist, could love and live and laugh, even if one of them happened to be a millennium or two older than the other. Even recognizing that it was just a single small village out in the middle of nowhere... without Bran, it could have spread throughout the village, and in time further. Perhaps even become its own little Arcadia of a sort. Instead that chance was gone, dying alongside Ragnis.
But that didn't mean that the hope had to die, too.
"...I've made... a lot of mistakes, Shara," she managed to state, trying to meet Shara's honesty with her own. Not exactly easy for her at the best of times considering how few people she'd actually revealed the depth of her crimes to, really just Veigue by now, but at this point it was something that she felt was worth confronting. If only to try to help Shara realize what Nayru was acutely aware she probably wasn't eloquent enough to state on its own. "I've killed... hundreds, thousands of people, even those I knew and cared for, before I gained control of my transformation... thanks to a human. A friend." Veigue was still a dumbass for risking his life like that, him and Hayle both, but she couldn't exactly hold it against them considering what it had led to. It wasn't easy but Nayru did her best to meet Shara's gaze head on, the way she did for everything that WASN'T about herself. "I've been trying to find meaning in their deaths ever since, but it took another friend to make me realize that even if I couldn't change the past, I could still change the future."
"You didn't make a mistake with Ragnis, Shara. He was dangerous. If he had turned his wrath on innocent villagers, he would have done more damage than just taking a few lives." That didn't mean that Ragnis was just a monster. He deserved to be remembered well. That was why Nayru had painted him well to the villagers. She understood him too well - what losing Veigue or Remus would do to her - how she would react - and unlike Ragnis, Nayru was acutely aware that there were very few people could could hope to stop her. So their survival wasn't just a matter of wanting to be a good friend; it was her trying to ensure she had no reason to go berserk ever again, to spare the countless more lives that would be lost. "-But that doesn't mean that hope died with him, or that his death was without meaning. That's a choice you have to make. Because no one else can. You can let what he represented die, or..."
Or what? Marry a human man? Ignoring for a moment that for some reason that notion bothered her, Nayru realized that finding the right words right then were harder than she had anticipated - she was just winging this but rousing pep talks about deep serious subject matter weren't really her thing. She couldn't just... tell Shara to take up that cause. That was something that no one in the world, not Tess or Kara or Ragnis or Nayru or Remus or Veigue, could actually tell the blonde. She had to decide it on her own, and more importantly she had to BELIEVE it. As Nayru was learning in practice, living with a decision of that caliber was not as easy as making it in the first place.
|
|
|
Post by Shara Tiinedra on May 9, 2017 16:11:04 GMT -6
Shara listened, with an open mind and an open heart, as Nayru returned her honesty in kind. She listened as Nayru told Shara that she'd killed innocents before. Even if Ragnis was not innocent during that battle, not truly, the hard fact was the same: they'd both killed when they hadn't wanted to before. At least Shara had made a choice, though...with Nayru it sounded like a freak accident, and Shara felt pity and sympathy for her. The more the blonde listened, though, the more she realized that Nayru had indeed gone through something similar. Different, but similar enough that Nayru could genuinely understand her dilemma, and her grief. That meant the world to Shara...to know she wasn't entirely alone in this. That someone else had struggled, perhaps still struggling from the way Nayru spoke, with this same problem. ...Someone that she had begun to look up to. It was a selfish relief, but Shara could forgive herself for that one transgression. For it meant that Nayru could speak to Shara honestly, and impart advice that the blonde desperately sought and needed in that moment...that Ragnis' death was not the end of what he stood for. Willing, intentional, or otherwise. The hope that he embodied, if to no one else than to Shara, did not need to fade with his death. It only died if she allowed it to die. “I've made mistakes too.” Shara began to feel her eyes grow watery. She thought she didn't have tears left to shed, but none rolled down her cheeks all the same. The only reason one would be able to see them at all was due to the steadily rising sun in the East. Gradually illuminating the dark sky, and drowning the sinking moon in its radiance. “I've done terrible things to good people. Even to people I've loved. I've BEEN selfish, shrewd, and cowardly for...centuries now, really...” Shara managed a weak smile at her companion. If before she didn't know what she felt, now she was simply confused as to why. Her grief had been gone since she fainted, but now the fog along her mind steadily began to lift. “I acknowledge that now. I won't run away from that.” She couldn't. If she continued to do so, she'd only wind up in a deeper spiral, one Nayru might not be able to help her out of. So she turned to look at the rising sun. Shara could feel what must have been its warmth against her body, and she squinted against its growing radiance...unaware of the smaller, but equally brilliant light that emanated from her stone. “But regardless of who I was, or who I am...I refuse to be the one who killed hope.” ResolutionRagnis and Tess...their lives, their deaths, would not be in vain. Shara swore it silently, closing her eyes and visualizing their faces. She never got know them as well as she would have liked...and neither of them had ever expressed a dream of uniting the two races beyond themselves. They never had to. Their love for each other, and for Kara, was enough. “I'm...unsure about the afterlife...if one exists at all. But, wherever you all are...I hope you are together. And that you're happy.”...They could rest together. Shara could do the hard work. “When we first met, you helped me realize that I didn't know what I wanted to do. Where I wanted to go in life.” Shara began, “Now...I think I've started to find my answer. I don't know how I'll do it, but I...I want to make sure that their light never dies.” With that, Shara turned around to face Nayru once more. The dragoness was so caught in her own realization that she hadn't noticed the light of her dragonstone spreading. Soft and white, it stretched across her entire body, including the long shirt, boots, and even her hair. To Shara it was contrasted against the brilliance of the breaking dawn, she couldn't even tell it was her own light. But just as slowly and silently as it came, so too did it fade...but it left change in its wake. Shara's hair was the first to be unveiled. Golden as ever, yes, but cut shorter, and twice as smooth. Gone entirely, however, was the long shirt. In its place a suit, nearly skin tight, that was mostly a solid blue all the way through. It extended to sleeves all the way up to her wrists and covered her entire torso and groin, but it didn't extend further than that. The dragoness' thighs were exposed now, though she had red, knee high boots for footwear. A strange red and gold sigil burned itself atop her suit, and following it, a cape extended, reaching down to her rear, tied neatly around her neck. Sealing the cape's tie was Shara's dragonstone, which at last finally began to die down. “I...think I'll be okay now...”
“Thank you, Nayru.”
|
|
|
Post by Nayru Al-Saiduq on May 9, 2017 19:56:43 GMT -6
In the moment Nayru was just happy that she had managed to avoid saying anything TOO stupid. She uh, she had a track record of doing that. Meaning well and actually doing the right thing were two very different things, whether it came to consoling a friend or saving the world - or protecting it. The road to hell was paved with good intentions, as the saying went, and history was full of people who had done terrible or at least poorly resulting acts in the name of goodness, right, and justice. When it came to moments like these, even just a stupid comment could send cracks through a friendship or destroy it; the power of words, their strength and their weakness. Much like people, they could be good or evil or anything in between.
But in the interest of NOT f**k**g this up she just listened as Shara spoke, monologuing - though in this particular play, she was most assuredly the main character, and so the audience was willing to stand there and listen. No. Not just willing. Happy to. Gratified even. Because it wasn't just what Shara said, it was... how she said it. She wasn't saying it for Nayru's benefit or favor, she wasn't saying it for anyone, aside from maybe Ragnis and Tess. She was... looking through herself through a clear lens, not one tinted rosy by viewpoint or ugly by self recrimination, but baring herself to, well, herself. And even more importantly than that, she was finding that she did like some of the bits she saw, the vision of who she could be. Of who she wanted to be. It would take time no doubt but even Nayru could see Shara's determination as the blonde found it within herself.
But as the sun rose, something more than just good feelings and hugs and smiles rose in the air. The light of Shara's stone as it enveloped her and reforged her body was something that, in a way, Nayru knew from the inside out rather than from the outside in - she had undergone that too, twice before now, but it was only the last time that it had been so meaningful to her. Realizing that Veigue was there for her, that she wasn't truly alone anymore, that she had to face her inner demons; in turn Shara was facing her own weakness. The thought struck Nayru that it was actually kinda nice to be that for someone else, at least until the crushing burden of responsibility and 'oh god I'm so fucked' settled in shortly thereafter. But as Shara's transformation finished and the blonde smiled at her - really quite a nice smile - the bronzed dragon felt she had to say something, to respond to Shara's comments and... possibly note her transformation, she had TECHNICALLY been kind of unconscious around the time of her own so she wasn't sure if it was something that people noticed while it happened or not. Ok ok say something wise.
"Holy crap you got hotter" was what came out instead.
Hmm.
"I mean... the light, and..."
Nayru's face met the upside of her palm forcefully and she considered finding the nearest rock possibly to bash her brains out against, but was held off by the realization that it would be much smarter to find two rocks to finish the job faster, or maybe a cyclops to step on her. "...That didn't come out right."
|
|
|
Post by Shara Tiinedra on May 9, 2017 21:26:06 GMT -6
...Shara had not been expecting that response. She stared blankly at Nayru, outright confused as the bronzed dragoness face-palmed. Was...that a compliment? Even if so it was still odd. How exactly would Shara have gotten...
Then she looked down, and her eyes widened. Uh, she'd been wearing little else but a long-shirt mere seconds ago. Aaaaand the long-shirt was gone, in place of clothing Shara had never seen before. As she continued to examine her new attire she only grew more and more baffled. Seriously, how had she NOT noticed this? It was relatively tight as well, a-and why were her thighs exposed!? Shara hadn't minded showing off a bit before, but she usually did so with dresses, things that kept her thighs more covered than this.
“What on Elibe...?” Shara mumbled aloud, doing a little turn as she caught sight of her apparent new cape in the corner of her eye. This had never happened to her before, and again, she'd never seen any of this attire in her life. So why...?
Shara stopped her confused scrambling when she saw the sigil on her chest. At first glance it just looked like a poorly written “S”, but...she actually recognized it as something else. In some forms of Draconic, particularly the form her parents preferred, it closely resembled the character used for the first letter of her name. She...never noticed how similar it was to the Common “S”.
But if the outfit had such a clear connection to her, then...
“I...guess this new look comes from my dragonstone.” As Shara brushed her fingers against a stray lock of hair, she noted that her long braid was gone. Her hair in general was shorter. Huh, she supposed she'd miss the long look...but this was better. The dragoness would need a mirror, but she was pretty certain she'd rock this new look better.
“In which case, well, thanks again.” Shara gave Nayru a small smile. The other dragoness didn't seem at all proud about her reaction, but Shara was rather relieved that it all looked good on her. “For the compliment, along with...you know...listening, and everything.”
A biiiiit too soon for her to learn how to handle doling out gratitude properly. Baby steps for these things, she supposed.
Making one last turn, Shara looked to the ruin of the house and her eyes widened. Earlier it had been too dark for her to notice, but with the sun rising she could see a particular mound of dirt just north of the house's ruins, with what looked to be a wooden marker, in the shape of a cross...
“...They buried him.” Shara couldn't help but smile. Indeed, they were at rest. And they were together, as they ought to be.
“...Come. Let's head back to Lucia's. We could both use some more rest, and, well...I'll have to explain to Lucia about her long-shirt. Somehow.” Shara actually let out a bit of a giggle. The poor woman likely wouldn't have any understanding of how this all happened. Shara did know that the human form a dragon took was partially based on the conscious desires in combination with subconscious desires, but she'd more or less looked the same for her entire life. Her stone had never weaved a unique uniform for her as well...but at least this meant she could leave her dresses behind for good.
...Okay, MOST of them. Some were definitely worth keeping.
As Shara took a few steps past Nayru she paused, curiosity getting the better of her, as it always had. “Did...you ever experience anything like this? This is the first time my stone has ever altered my appearance at all. I can guess why, just...well, I'm curious.”
|
|
|
Post by Nayru Al-Saiduq on May 9, 2017 22:20:26 GMT -6
"Yeah, sure." Recovering gradually from her minor mental meltdown, Nayru managed a lopsided grin at her counterpart in the wake of being thanked. She might not be good at the peopling thing, but it was nice to know she'd had a positive effect at least. Though in the end, it had been Shara who had made the breakthrough - the decision - and acted on it. All she had done was help push a little in the right direction. "Anytime Shara." And she meant it... though preferably not with people dying every time, but well, pretty much every dragon she'd met so far was fucked up in some way, and neither she nor Shara were any exception to that quite clearly.
On the bright side, Shara seemed pretty taken with her new outfit. Nayru wasn't entirely sure what to make of it after the initial surprise of that much leg was taken in, but thought it was kinda hero-ey? She didn't think she could rock it at all though, it simply wasn't her style. Definitely looked a LOT better on Shara than it ever would on her though, which she decided she was OK with. Different strokes for different folks after all.
It seemed Shara was a bit confused, which wasn't too surprising. It wasn't exactly a normal dragon thing; if Nayru hadn't been lucky(?) enough to be a mental and emotional fuckup to severe that she'd discovered the phenomenon by accident she wouldn't have known either! "I don't know if there's a proper term for it, but yes. A dragon's human form is heavily linked to their perception of themselves. Fundamental changes in belief and self identification can alter appearances." Nayru didn't even notice how quickly she had moved from normal her back to teacher Nayru in the wake of having something to focus on that WASN'T her being a gigantic idiot, and continued unabated though slowing down a bit as she got back into personal territory. "'Least you ended the process with clothes on. Veigue had to carry my naked ass back to his village on account of me being unconscious and all. Apparently I drooled on him too. Good times, good times."
|
|