Aikou Thundersnow: Mercenary scholar

[Ezaile]

Name:Aikou Thundersnow
Class/Race: Mage
Age: 17
Birthplace: Ilia
Appearance: drive.google.com/file/d/1JqRagNgOmd8IxcKxsZ6RWqJAWnHJv6CA/view?usp=drivesdk
This is my own mugshot of him
Personality: he constantly attempts to be as calm as possible, but will break down and reveal his hyperactive emotions when under stress. Very compassionate, but occasionally erratic, although he has worked hard to control this. Sees the good in everyone he meets at first, but this often changes, as he sees the worst in someone as well
Backstory: at a young age, his parents turned to banditry to survive a terrible famine caused by a harsh winter. His parents died attacking a caravan when he was young. He was a street beggar for years until he taught himself magic and academics. He is now a wanderer searching for employment, whether as a tutor or a soldier

[Ezaile]

Stats:
Level 2 Mage
HP 22
Magic 4
Strength 4
Skill 7
Speed 7
Defense 8
Luck 4
Res 7
Con 8

Growth Rates
HP: 40
Magic: 30
Strength: 25
Skill: 45
Speed: 40
Defence: 50
Res: 40
Luck:25

[Nayru Al-Saiduq]

Well it's definitely a start to a reg but I would like to see a bit more overall.

If you aren't going to use full body art then a bit more info on his appearance would be appreciated.

Personality wise, the details seem a bit... opposing? In what way does seing the best in others translate to instead seeing the worst in them? In what way is he overly emotional? How does he act with people? Just a few examples.

History; how did he go from from street beggar to magician and academic? That's a HUGE jump to make with no information or detail.

[Ezaile]

Jun 19, 2018 18:14:31 GMT -6 Nayru Al-Saiduq said:

Well it's definitely a start to a reg but I would like to see a bit more overall.

If you aren't going to use full body art then a bit more info on his appearance would be appreciated.

Personality wise, the details seem a bit... opposing? In what way does seing the best in others translate to instead seeing the worst in them? In what way is he overly emotional? How does he act with people? Just a few examples.

History; how did he go from from street beggar to magician and academic? That's a HUGE jump to make with no information or detail.

I can explain things better

So the part about the opposition: He typically sees the best AT THE FIRST IMPRESSION although that's another situation where he's hiding his true personality from himself, but as he gets to know them, he judges quickly and can hold a grudge. I based a lot of this off of the cost of magic and again, the hiding his personality from himself. He can be loving and caring, but if you consistantly make him regret it, he will antagonize you to the best of his abilities Is that acceptable?

The history part: I haven't really thought about that much. He's a quick learner who would pick up a few things from other people, but it took a while before he put it together. I can work on that if nesessary.

The design:
He has the yellow armor, with a blue half cloak on top. The emblem on his chest connects the two ends of the cloak.
His face would be handsome if it hadn't been scarred and beaten, and if I could do art.

[Nayru Al-Saiduq]

That's all stuff that should be in the app.

Speaking of stuff that should be in the app, you're missing some pretty important sections of the app... the PC/NPC fights.

[Ezaile]

Wdym by PC and NPC Fights?

[Ezaile]

NPC Fight:
Aikou looked at the commander in surprise, and then back at the girl.
(Aikou): “You expect the girl to pay us? Her father died before he could, and his daughter doesn't know where he kept his stash. Besides, we were hired to protect him and his belongings. We failed.”
Aikou sighed. He'd been working with this small Mercenary band for a while, and their greed was getting on his nerves. Still, they were poor and definitely deserved it more than some, and were definitely hard workers. Perhaps after he taught them a lesson they might be better. He pulled out his tome. (Aikou): Please, we failed, let's find another job.
(Ilian Commander): “We fought. We risked our lives, broke our blades and bodies, and saved the girl. We are getting paid for this.”
(Aikou): “I'll repeat myself once more. Back off or I'll resign and force you too.”
(Illian Commander): “Go ahead.”
Aikou threw a fire ball near the man and pulled a knife from his pocket. Despite his knowledge, he was still a fledgeling magician. As the Ilian came closer, he threw the knife at his foot. However, the experienced Swordsmaster effortlessly caught it in midair.
(Illian Commander): “Here's your chance to leave. Although you are an annoying idealist, I'll miss fighting beside and having you watch my back.”
Aikou didn't need another explanation, he ran off, picking up the girl on his way.

(Is this good enough?)
--

[Mila]

Sadly no. If you need some examples please look at other accepted characters. There's still quite a bit more to flesh out when it comes to his history/Story. The NPC/PC fight looks wonky to me. I'm not the best when it comes to explaining things. I feel like.. i dunno I hate to be mean about it but almost like a troll application? You can't just "learn magic and acedemics" with out no formal training. That's like trying to pick up a book and read when your illiterate. It just doesn't work. If you are struggling with art you can face claim a close enough animu character or make one with proboards until you find something. Also the PC V PC is completely missing. I'm going to declare this as a denial until it's fixed up.

OOC- Not sure how the balls it went into your post. My bad.

[Ezaile]

Can I have a quick description of what a NPC Fight and a PC fight are on this? I know what they are, I just don't understand how they are part of character creation

[Mila]

Starting out click the link, scroll to "how does this rp stuff work" and click and read all those lovey little links.

[Ezaile]

I can't find the rules on PC and NPC fights as requirements of character creation, and many of the older forms (Like Kenshin's) are missing them entirely

[Kenshin]

You're pointing out the 12 year old admin app. If you'd look at more recent ones you'd see it or idk, read rule pages.

[Ezaile]

Ill just pretend that it wasn't so painfully obvious after I looked at the next form down (Sigfried Adler)

[Ezaile]

Aikou looked at the commander in surprise, and then back at the girl.
(Aikou): “You expect the girl to pay us? Her father died before he could, and his daughter doesn't know where he kept his stash. Besides, we were hired to protect him and his belongings. We failed.”
Aikou sighed. He'd been working with this small Mercenary band for a while, and their greed was getting on his nerves. Still, they were poor and definitely deserved it more than some, and were definitely hard workers. Perhaps after he taught them a lesson they might be better. He pulled out his tome. (Aikou): Please, we failed, let's find another job.
(Ilian Commander): “We fought. We risked our lives, broke our blades and bodies, and saved the girl. We are getting paid for this.”
(Aikou): “I'll repeat myself once more. Back off or I'll resign and force you too.”
(Illian Commander): “Go ahead.”

PC FIGHT: Aikou threw a fire ball near the man and pulled a knife from his pocket. Despite his knowledge, he was still a fledgeling magician. As the Ilian came closer, he threw the knife at his foot. However, the experienced Swordsmaster effortlessly caught it in midair.

(Illian Commander): “Here's your chance to leave. Although you are an annoying idealist, I'll miss fighting beside and having you watch my back.”
Aikou didn't need another explanation, he ran off, picking up the girl on his way.

[Ezaile]

The savvy Aikou created a basic writing system for himself, where he would copy sounds down. For example, Age would become his letter for “Ay” and his letter for “J.” As such, it was easier to move onto writing after he had something to compare it to. Spelling threw him off, and he still has trouble spelling words correctly. He learned magic when working with a mage during a period in which Aikou was a simple servant who could barely use a sword, which he now keeps in his scabbard so that his enemies don’t realize he is a magician. The mage taught him the basics of magic, but Aikou was separated from the magician before he had basic mastery of magic. After this, he would occasionally be able to cast a spell, but only when in danger. Eventually, he was able to master the Fire spell, and is working on picking up Thunder from observation, although this is proving difficult.