Johnny Jones: Fourth Grade Drama King/Action Hero

[Matthias]

Miss Belevedair was, without a doubt, the prettiest teacher in the world. Just ask any one of the twelve ten-year-old males in her class. Each one would swear that they’d never seen someone as pretty as Miss B, not even their own mothers.
Johnny and the rest of the male population of his class could only sit and stare at the beautiful teacher as she gave her lessons. Undoubtedly important knowledge passed from those luscious Twizzler-red lips, stuff that Johnny would have to know to pass some test or another. Right now it was more important to figure out some way of winning her heart, and getting her to marry him. Sure, he’d already proposed to his mom, but she’d understand.
The teacher’s wondrous eyes, like two scoops of chocolate ice cream, met Johnny’s, and he perked up in his seat.
“You need to start writing Johnny,” she stated. He nodded, and bent his head over his desk, desperately trying to remember what he was supposed to be writing about. Thankfully the benevolent Miss B had written it on the board.
Write about the time in your life that you felt the saddest.

[Matthias]

Johnny’s mom held the tape in one hand, holding it up for Johnny to see. He didn’t need to know how to read to recognize his favoritist tape in the whole world: Pee Wee Goes to the Zoo. He clapped his hands in celebration at a half hour of silly fun. His mother beamed an angelic smile at her true love in life (dad didn’t count), and put the tape into a battered VCR.
The little boy’s patience almost snapped as the FBI logo came up. Only grown-ups would waste time with a screen full of words that nobody read anyway. Finally, raucous music blared from the television set, and animated letters proclaimed Pee Wee’s latest adventure. Johnny’s hands beat against one another as he happily spasmed in time with the music.
Suddenly the screen became blurry, and Pee Wee warped. For a moment it was like that one episode where Pee Wee gets stuck in a Fun House. Johnny hated that episode.
“Mom, something’s wrong with Pee Wee!” he cried. His mother would fix it, just like she fixed everything. Angels could do that.
The frazzled mother quickly walked over to the VCR and began working frantically. Soon snakes of black tape leapt from the VCR, pooling on the carpeted floor. Johnny waddled over to the pile, standing in the middle of it. He bent over, scooping up the tape and cuddling it like it was his best friend.
“PEE WEE!!! WHHYYYY!!!” he screamed, as the world started spinning

[Matthias]

The pencil lead broke before Johnny could finish writing of his traumatic experience. He’d almost filled up an entire page, which would of course please the teacher to no end. Grumbling, he wiggled out of his seat, and began the long walk to the pencil sharpener.
Miss B may have been perfect, but she sure didn’t know how to organize a room. Johnny had to walk clear across the classroom to get to the pencil sharpener, and he’d have to walk by Billy Jenkins.
Billy’s name even sounded like a bad guy’s name. Johnny had long ago decided that when they made the movie about his life, Billy would be the bad guy who Johnny got to kill when he saved the girl. Johnny would get to stand on top of Billy’s head and crow triumphantly. Then Miss B would kiss him.
For now they’d just remain classroom rivals. Johnny glared at his nemesis, and Billy glared back, curling his nose like a pig. Johnny stuck his pencil into the sharpener and began cranking. Until he heard a familiar noise: the sound of someone sucking on paper.
He turned and looked directly at Billy, who was the only boy evil enough to shoot spit wads at Miss B. Sure enough, the hooligan had a hollowed out pen in one hand, and was shoving a wad of wet paper into another. Johnny watched as Billy raised the pen to his lips.

[Matthias]

He sprang into action, diving sideways across the desks. Seconds became minutes, and minutes became hours as he flew through the air. By the time he landed he’d be old enough to graduate and marry Miss B, which worked perfectly. He saw the paper wad spiraling towards him, and felt it connect with his cheek just before he landed hard on the floor.
“Billy Jenkins! Office, now!” Miss B had never sounded so mad. Johnny’s rival leapt from his desk, and stormed out of the room, kicking Johnny “on accident” on the way out. Johnny could feel Miss B standing over him.
“Are you okay, Johnny?” she asked, bending over to help Johnny up.
“I’m just fine, ma’am,” Johnny replied, sticking his hands into his belt loops. All the cool guys did that in movies after they saved the girl.
“I’m glad to hear that, thank you Johnny,” Miss B said as she walked the boy back to his seat.
“Just doin’ what anyone would’ve done, protectin’ a beautiful lady,” Johnny said, sounding just like John Wayne. Miss B laughed, and smiled down on her charge.
“Do you want a toy from the treasure box?” she asked.
“No ma’am,” he took his seat, leaning back.
Miss B’s smile was reward enough.