The Woods are Where you go... [Ito | Inese]

[Ito]

Ito dragged himself away from the burning village. He'd been doing so for quite some time now, and had distanced himself quite a ways from the newly created bonfire. Coming across a small clearing with several large tree stumps, Ito dragged himself to one, sticking his sword into the soft dirt and using it to push himself up. He laid himself down on the stump, eyes open and looking up at the stars. If he would die tonight, at least he'd be kinda comfortable.

How could I let this happen? Ito's despair had quieted, allowing him thought once more. I should've been able to help them... To save them. What did I do wrong? No one would be there to answer his questions. Just like before, his inadequacy had driven him almost to death. Another tear slid down his face, the glow of the fire peeking over the treetops from the direction of the village. Why am I still alive? Painful memories of his wife's last moments came back to him, accompanied by several more tears. The pain was too much. Emotionally, Ito had been broken. He thought that after years of bottling up his pain, he would be fine, but now... Ito wanted it to take him.

The clearing, although Ito had paid little attention to it, seemed rather desolate, much like his internal state. His physical pain was unnoticed, although excruciating, in comparison to the emotional damage of a second failure like this. Ito, despite losing a large amount of blood already, seemed to still have more to give. It was pooling slowly on the stump, soaking through areas of his clothing. Ito then suddenly burst into a coughing fit, leaning upright slightly as the air harshly escaped his lungs.

[Inese Ozols]

Six hours.

Six hours had passed. That was how long she had been fleeing for. Four hours ago, her horse had slowed down to a trot. One hour ago, Caliburn had begun limping. It was clear her steed could not go on much longer without collapsing. But Inese wasn't sure if the things were still chasing her. Damn it all.

"... move, you damned horse!" She whispered as for the first time she looked behind her. Nothing. That didn't mean the things weren't there. A sigh escaped her lips as she closed her eyes, thinking. She would need to find shelter, now. She was still in a forest, dark and filled with cawing crows, but it seemed less muddy and desolate as her home. Not exactly devoid of death, but far from reeking of it. Inese doubted she was still in Laus.

She knew little of the geography of Lycia and -- even if she had one (she didn't) -- couldn't read maps. Mutterings of obscenities seeped from her tongue as she looked around herself once more. She was entering a grove, it seemed. Illuminated only by the stars and the moon... as well as a distant source of light that she couldn't quite make out over the canopy. Hmn.

Ito heard the slow sound of hoofbeats approaching, inconsistent and mixed with small snorts and grunts made in exhaustion and pain. Not human, definitely. It was unlikely one of the bandits had a horse, as he hadn't seen one ride in on one, but there was a stable in the village he failed to protect. As he leaned upright, he saw an approaching shadow, only barely lit by the faint rays coming from the heavens.

Inese instinctively looked down as she heard the coughing. Death. It appears she had been wrong. It was just like her home, here. Death and desolation seemed to prevail no matter where she went in this blighted country. Every place was as bleak as the last.

A bleeding soldier dressed in scraps of shattered and broken metal, blood seeping from nearly every inch of his body, sat as best as he could in front of the troubadour. The woman stared at him for a moment, motionless, her eyes glaring directly into his rather than the injuries he seemed to suffer. Ito saw clearly the stave that was strapped to her back even in this dim lighting. Salvation had come, it seemed.

"..." Inese began to circle around the fallen soldier, still mounted, not saying anything. Glancing over him and the scarlet stump he leaned against as she made four laps, she eventually (slowly) got off of her horse and sent it to a nearby tree where it nearly immediately began to rest, struggling to stand as it slept.

Inese walked up to Ito, kneeling down so that their faces were on the same level. His darkening vision saw her features more clearly now; her sepia-colored skin was tainted with dirt and dried blood, and her eyes seemed to not give a care in the world about the dying man. With a swift motion, she quickly revealed a vulnerary from the sack she carried on the side of her torn dress.

"Drink. Now." She ordered, shoving the bottle into Ito's mouth. She took the stave off of her back, staring at the wounds around him one last time, presumably to figure out where to apply the healing magic first, before finally beginning to apply the charges onto his chest first.

"This will take away the pain given a few minutes. This will not heal your injuries fully or immediately. You will have difficulty standing regardless of how fine you feel for at least a couple of days. Your breathing will not regulate, at the best, for a week. Don't do anything stupid -- or anything at all until I tell you to." Taking the bottle from his mouth after forcing him to swallow the medicine, Inese looked into his eyes again.

"Now. Why and how did you get injured?"

[Ito]

Inside, Ito wasn't sure what he was feeling. At first, when a large shadow approached, he felt terror. The the staff came into view, and there was calm. During the rider's four laps, Ito felt anxious, but still looked calm on the outside. Then, as who he now knew looked like a girl dismounted and came to eye level, Ito felt... weird? This was the second time he'd been caught by a girl, while covered in blood (much of it not his own). It had also been the second time he was caught on the edge of death and saved. Was it deja vu? Embarrassment? He couldn't be sure...

Being nearly choked by this new girl, however, did widen his eyes. Why was it so rushed? Was it just Ito's lingering adrenaline? Regardless, he did as he was ordered, and drank the medicine. The girl began performing some kind of healing magic, and although Ito hadn't been awake the last time it had been cast on him, he didn't feel much different. Although he didn't show it with his body, Inese would clearly be able to see his pain in his eyes. This pain wasn't physical though; it was a kind of pain that would be much, much harder to cure. This pain racked his soul with torment, and with grief.

Now ordered to speak by the somewhat attractive, exhausted looking woman, Ito couldn't muster the words to explain. Still calm, but rather weakly, he spoke softly. "I... I let them down... They trusted me... and... and I couldn't... save them." Ito laid back down across the top of the flat stump, retreating from his half-sat-up position. Once again looking to the stars, appearing calm, he spoke in a half-hearted whisper as a tear came to his eye. "I let them down..."

[Inese Ozols]

"Right, of course you did. Let me guess. Your family died to some Bonewalkers and you tried your best to save them, but y-" She paused for a moment. Not because she cared about her words, but rather because she realized Caliburn was in no position to run. If it was those abominations, and they came this way...

"... tell me exactly what happened, to the best of your ability, and try not to make any unnecessary sounds, would you? I saw a light coming from over the horizon. I'm going to assume it is either magic or fire; possibly both. Explain." She spoke in her characteristic calm voice, though now with a much faster rhythm.

"And I said don't move, you damn idiot. Not unless I tell you to. Do you understand what I am saying, or shall I make myself more clear?" As Ito shifted himself to lie down, Inese quickly moved her hand over his chest and pushed down to communicate her message. The physical pain that had just began to fade away quickly returned. After a few seconds of staring down into his face, she let go and resumed her work of healing.

He was damaged. Physically, yes, and more so than she alone could manage. She'd have to help him to a nearby town in order to get him more proper medical aid, but that would have to wait until tomorrow morning. The wounds were far more than skin deep, literally -- and figuratively. Inese was not one to heal minds. She understood loss. She had been through it more times than this man had been, she was certain. And she always mourned. But it never got in the way of what she did. She couldn't have ever let it do that.

Inese didn't understand why the man didn't feel the same way. She placed a hand on his head to turn it towards hers, occasionally glancing at him while she worked on her magic. "Now. As I said. Explain."

[Ito]

Ito coughed again as the woman applied an unnecessary amount of pressure to his chest. And to make it worse - perhaps for any other man - the woman didn't seem to show any care. Ito would've shaken his head in accordance with her response to his very limited, stuttering answer had it not been for her command to stay still. I wonder... Why would she have chosen the path of a healer, if she doesn't seem to care? What was her reason... The woman's demanding for an explanation rang in Ito's ears, bringing him back to reality for a moment brief enough to answer. "N-no... My family's *cough* been gone. All of them... already gone." Another tear, Ito's mental pain very clearly stronger than any physical pain he could've endured, his light words bringing back the most painful memories. "Villagers. I... They... they trusted me. The light, i-is fire. Bandits... S-same as, before." Ito reached up with his left hand, which seemed to be free of major injury, and wiped away the small tears with his blood covered hand.

He closed his eyes before speaking again. This time, for some reason, it was much... clearer. "I've lost too much. I've fought too much. And for what? Death? My purpose feels... distant. Like it's been going away for the longest time, and I've finally realised that it's gone. Tell me, please, what is the purpose to life, if your life has no purpose?" Ito sighed, opening his eyes again and making eye contact with the girl as she glanced up at him while she worked. "Tell me. What am I doing wrong?"

What am I doing wrong?

[Inese Ozols]

Inese listened silently, her expressions still unmoving even in the face of such a tale. Her only wince was not at the words of the myrmidon but from the blood that somehow was still pouring from his wounds. She would need to patch them. As she opened her satchel to look for bandages, she spoke absently.

"Let me ask you something, soldier. Have you ever heard the sound of songbirds?" Lifting a small pile of already bloodied rags from the bag and onto the stump beside Ito, Inese sighed as she began the work of unraveling them. "I was born in Laus. It was the territory closest to the capital when it fell. Before it was what it is now, it was a beautiful place. Heavily wooded, villages like family. I can name almost every town in the territory. I've been to most of them. Long travels; hours, usually."

Inese looked Ito in the eyes for a moment. "Sit up slightly, please. I need to wrap these around your waist and chest." Assuming he did so, she could begin the work of slowly and methodically applying the seemingly infinitely long straps of bandages, the already dirtied cloth being stained further by fresh blood. "I hated travelling. Boring, and sometimes dangerous. Every morning I was to set out, while I was preparing my horse for the journey and stocking up on supplies, I heard songbirds. Dreadfully annoying, to be honest. I never liked them. They sang the same tunes every day I heard them. I never paid much attention."

"That was, until the capital fell." Unlike Ito, Inese didn't seem to stutter at all when she spoke about any subject of death, though that could perhaps be attributed to the fact her lungs were undamaged. "Plenty of people died. Animals suddenly disappeared. Whatever humans were left were idiots or bandits living on scraps, trying to eke out a living. The forest itself died over the course of months. Trees withered. Slowly, by inches, the entire woods began to become devoid of life."

"Except," she added, without hesitation. "... there. Lie down, please. Slowly. Do not take in a breath until you are completely still. Except for the songbirds, of course. The damned things still sang every morning when I woke up, no matter where I was. I hid in trees and in ruins of buildings, but every time I opened my eyes I'd hear them. It was as if they were taunting me."

"Why? Who knows." She shrugged, pursing her lips slightly for the first time, her eyes narrowing as if annoyed. "Damnable things are still singing, if you listen for them. They've mostly died out, but there's still a few of them out there. Don't know why they don't give up, to be honest. I just know that they don't. I guess they decided not to. Maybe it was just animal instinct to persevere."

Inese internally sighed. She hated this. Ugh. 'Motivational speeches' were not in her job description. Still, she only had to do this until she dropped this man off at some village. She knew even the most carefully picked words she could muster would only be a temporary bandage at best. Much like the bloodied rags she just finished applying, they were shoddy, meant only as a substitute until actual help could be acquired.

"... maybe the purpose of life is just to keep on living. Only the gods know. And as much as I'd love to ask them, I can't right now, so you'll just have to determine it for yourself." She paused, looking out over the canopy to the fire. "I'm bad at this. Sorry. Ugh. Back to details. What's your name? Are you part of a unit? Where were the bandits headed? Were there any other survivors?"

[Ito]

Have I ever heard the sound of songbirds? What did it mean? Ito listened intently was the woman tended to his injuries, sitting up and laying back down when he was asked to. As the woman spoke, thoughts ran through his mind as he tried to find some meaning to her talk of Laus, birds, and past times of struggle. What is she saying this for? How does this answer my question? Why does she suddenly care to try and comfort me with this sort of sympathetic answer now, when she didn't seem to care at all earlier? Then came the answer, or at least, what Ito thought the young woman was getting to. "Maybe the purpose of life to just keep on living." Wait... Did this mean Ito was wrong for wondering why she chose healing others as her purpose? No... Questions aren't wrong to have, are they? Maybe she too was searching for a purpose, and her way of keeping on living was by helping others, no matter how disinterested or uncaring she seemed? If that's the case, what should I do until I discover my purpose? I thought it was to save others, but was I wrong?

The woman apologized before asking him another round of questions. Ito wasn't sure how to ask any of his questions, so keeping a calm expression and a compassionate look in his eyes, he answered her. "Don't be sorry. You've done nothing wrong; in fact, since the moment we met, you've been trying to help me." If I had been some murderous person who'd finally had justice placed on his shoulders, would you have helped me then? Is that truly the way you live? By helping people, no matter what? "I'm Ito. I travel Lycia, doing the best I can to liberate the oppressed from the oppressors, in this case, the residents of that poor village..." His brow was graced by the slightest trace of a scowl, as his tone filled with contempt and his eyes seemed bright with enmity. "From the bandits who terrorized them. Before I came, it was just small amounts of gold or supplies as the bandits saw fit to take. Then I offered protection in exchange for food and shelter. After only a few days, the bandits were so furious at the benefit of my services to the village people. So tonight, there was the largest turnout of bandits I'd ever seen in my life. All of them armed with weapons, they snuck in during the night and held the villagers hostage, driving me out so that I would have to fight my way in to save anybody. I tried, and was horribly injured after kil-" Ito coughed and continued. "After I'd only defeated a small number of them. I'm sure the bandits were only there for me, and to exact revenge on the villagers who'd dared take me in in an exchange for safety."

Ito's facial expressions had been practically unchanged the entire time they spoke; in fact, if you couldn't see his eyes, you would have no idea whether he was even capable of feeling emotion, or at least, expressing it. "In the end though, it was too much. My pain was - no, is too much." A sudden look of sadness entered his eyes; surely anyone who could hold eye contact for even just moments in a conversation would recognise Ito's internal rollercoaster. "I'm not sure if I can go on. I've lost my purpose. Again. But this time, who will help me find it?" Then out of nowhere, Ito's thoughts slipped out on his tongue. "There's no way you could help me find it. After all, you seem so disinterested, like you've lost your own purpose as well. How is it that you can stand going on like this, day by day, caring for the wounds of the wounded, but with no compassion in you at all?"

The calm look that Ito had held for nearly 5 years was suddenly shattered. Shock entered his expression as he realised what he'd said. Then, more vividly than anything else in his appearance, another emotion entered his gaze's reflection. Regret.

[Inese Ozols]

Inese listened quietly as Ito spoke, from his first word to his last, simply continuing her work healing. Such an idiot. He wanted to die, it seemed, or at least he didn't want to live. Such a concept was far beyond her comprehension. At least he was still capable of recalling the night's events. A group of brigands had come to extort a town. Why one would fight that she did not know. So long as the bandits left peacefully with their offerings, why rebel? It seemed as they were being peaceful enough, and fighting would only bring death on both sides.

When Ito's thoughts escaped his lips, Inese froze for a moment, the glow of her staff beginning to fade. She remained still, kneeling next to the stump Ito lie on, closing her eyes for the briefest of seconds. Slowly, ever so slowly, a grin crept upon her face, the first change in any expression she bore. Her smile showed far more teeth than cheer, though she quickly hid it with her palm as a small giggle poured from her. "... kuheheha!"

Quickly stifling her small laugh, she leaned over Ito, moving her hand back to his chest in the same location she pushed down on earlier. For the moment, she was applying no pressure, though she seemed eager to do so. "You know, you're awfully honest for someone in this position. I applaud that. So you know what? I'll be honest with you. I wish you were dead right now. I wish those wounds that you took trying to save those imbeciles in that village bled like you were a stuck pig. I wish each and every one of those idiots watched the last of your life fade out of your eyes, slowly. I wish I could be the one to bury you in a shallow grave. I wish you would just take your last breath and die already!"

"..." Slowly, her grin faded, though she did not remove her hand nor move back from Ito's face. "... but, sadly, you're not. And I'm not going to kill you. I can't. And even if I could, perhaps I'd just let you live with the guilt knowing that you doomed that village yourself. All you've done is get yourself injured, get countless villagers hurt and possibly killed, and ended the life of some of the bandits. All you caused was death. All you caused was pain on both sides. Do you think those men you killed without hesitation were not human? Do you not think they had friends? Family? That they did not feel emotion, that they did not do what they did out of desperation in this cruel world? Have you seen what this country has become after the fall of the capital?"

"Because all I hear at the moment is a murderer complaining that his savior, his healer, his sole reason for not dying himself, isn't acting like she's happy saving him. Do you expect me to enjoy caring for a man who, after slaying his own kind, does not repent but rather only wishes to end more lives? After Lycia has been ravaged by monsters, you kill only humans."

Inese finally moved back, removing her hand and beginning her work of healing again, the staff once more becoming enveloped in a sheen of mystic energy. "I do what I do because I must. Because it is my duty. Because it is a lesson I learned from an early age that I know the importance of. Because in this time of war and death, we cannot be at each other's throats. I heal because everyone deserves to live, no matter how much you want them dead. A concept that you seem to have trouble grasping. Do you expect me, or anyone else, to curl up like an infant and cradle to death like she's our mother? Do you expect me to willingly accept that life is not worth living, that even without purpose there is no reason to go on?"

"If I may ask you one thing, Ito, let me ask you this. Do you think those men you killed were monsters?"

[Ito]

Ito, recovering rather quickly, took his calm, expressionless look back, with the sad emotion in his eyes adding a regretting undertone to his body language. As the woman spoke to Ito, her words hit him harder than any attack he'd ever taken before. Am I a murderer? Am I just as much of a monster as those men I've killed in the name of justice and the defense of the people who've asked me to defend them? Many more thoughts like these ran through Ito's head, each one like an arrow shot into him or a knife being stabbed into his back. Was my purpose to stop evil, evil in and of itself?

The woman had moved her hand away from him now, continuing her work. There were so many things Ito could've said, but those things would've only dug him deeper into the verbal pit he started creating himself. He knew he couldn't take back what he'd said. The woman said she only performed her work out of a sense of duty. If that was really true, had Ito mistaken what his duty was?

Ito could only mumble his apology. His short, regretfully voiced "I didn't mean that" would likely mean nothing to the woman. The words he wanted to say seemed to be drowning in thoughts of accusatory statements, ranging from "You're not my savior! If anything, it's your fault I'm still alive and suffering!" to "I'm no murderer! It wasn't my fault they had to die." But, he said none of that.

He could only sigh, and in a quiet tone he spoke. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that. I don't know why I even thought that." He sat up again and looked the woman in the eyes, the effects of the vulnerary seeming to keep out any physical pain. "You're right, y'know. I've hurt myself. I've gotten others killed, and killed others. Whether those men I killed had friends, family, lives outside of terror, I do not know. You ask if I think they were monsters, and to that I say yes. I do think they were. But it doesn't matter to you what I think, does it? To you, there's no good or bad people to flock to or stay away from. There's only broken and hurt people, that you, because it is your self-proclaimed duty, have to heal. You think I'm a murderer, and you call yourself a savior; tell me something, are those lives that you were unable to save not on your hands, like the lives I took are on mine? You think my work of bringing safety to those who've asked me for it is only the work of death? What of the times where I was successful? Did those not bring joy to the ones I was able to help? Does it not bring joy to someone when you too save a loved one of their own? Our methods may be different, but we both carefully balance life and death in our lives. And in the end, isn't our work for nothing? I bring sooner the end of life upon monsters and men who've aligned themselves with such, and you only delay the inevitable for those who've been hurt; for better or for worse. I'm sure that you are often inconsiderate enough to disregard their emotional wounds, only fixing what you see to be broken on the outside, leaving those you've 'saved' to suffer internally, despite being fine physically. So tell me. Do you think I'm really a monster? Are you not one yourself, by prolonging the inevitable end that fate has decided should come upon us all?"

[Inese Ozols]

Inese pursed her lips again, though this time it was for more than just a moment. Her displeasure was clearly shown throughout her face, and it remained there, as if painted on. Her expressions were rigid, static, unmoving; as soon as she adopted one it seemed like it was permanent. Her eyes narrowed, and she put away her staff. Inese raised her hand once more to push Ito back down, but stopped herself halfway through with the action, her palm freezing in the air before returning to her side.

"Yes. Each death that I failed to prevent weighs me down. One hundred and eight. I remember every one of their faces. Janis. Edgar. Maris. Anna. Anita. Peters. Abraham. Chen. Viola. Maximilian. Every one of those faces had a name, and I'll be damned if I forget any one of them. I keep them with me in my heart. Every. Last. One. Tell me, Ito. Tell me the names of the men you killed tonight. Tell me what they looked like. Tell me about their childhood. Their first memory. Their children. Their lovers. Their dreams. Their fears. Because I can sure as hell tell you about every man, woman, and child that didn't make it under my watch. That I failed to save."

"Life may not have a purpose. It doesn't have to. It's beautiful. It's to be cherished. It's something to cling to. It gives us hope. It gives us emotion. It gives us everything that makes us human. And I won't let anyone take that away from me. If life is so meaningless to you, if death is inevitable, then why do you save people? Because you still have smiles to protect. Because there are people worth saving. Because their life means everything to you. That's why I will heal anyone who needs it, because everyone clings to someone else. I won't let one more soul go on knowing that their loved one was lost and that someone was nearby that could have helped... but they didn't. I cannot bear to have one more widow or widower or orphan or anyone else broken by fate. You think I have no compassion? I saved you because as much of a monster you are, there is someone out there who depends on you. There are people who want to see your smile. And you want to see theirs, don't you? I'll save as many of those smiles as I can."

"... I... I will save every last one. Because behind each of those smiles is a life that I want to see blossom. Potential waiting to be unlocked. Dreams waiting to be achieved. I won't let another fiend take away one of those lives, be it beast or man! I won't let another smile fade because of men like YOU! I won't let another family be torn apart by monsters! I won't let more and more death happen! I will save everyone I can because I HAVE TO! It is my duty because I cannot bear the burden of seeing one more smile wiped out!"

Inese knelt there, breathing heavily. Her eyes wavered for a moment, mirroring Ito's, before returning to her previous state. Her face went cold. Her frown returned to a blank slate. Her face became once more the paragon of solemnity.

"... I've cared for many bandits in my lifetime. Would you like to hear about one? His name was Adrian. He was a part of the group of thieves that killed my mother in what was supposed to be a peaceful raid gone horribly wrong. By the time the fighting ended, there were only eleven people left, all of them seriously injured. He wasn't the one who plunged the blade into her heart, but he was still one of the men who contributed to the amount of death around. He was under my care. My father simply left me in a room with him, like he was testing me. I wanted to kill him. I had knives for operations that required them. I wanted to slit his throat and watch him bleed out."

"But I couldn't. It would disappoint my father. It would make me no better than them. And, worst of all, it would dishonor Mother. She always went on about how no one is ever evil. We're all just born into cruel fates and we adapt to what is around us to survive. That everyone is a good person, and all we need is love to bring it out. I hated that speech. It was tawdry and foolish. But I couldn't bring myself to kill Adrian because it was against what my mother died for. It was against her morals. Even as a soldier, as a cavalier of the Laus military division, she always felt the weight of those she had slain. She visited their graves and took me with her when she went. She told me that, if I ever took a life, to make sure to honor it as best as I could. But I could tell she never wanted that to begin with."

"S-she just wanted peace. And so I granted her that. I took care of Adrian. When he awoke, he was confused. He didn't think he'd ever see anything again. As soon as he spoke I wanted to kill him again. Even better. He would be awake to feel the pain. But I couldn't once more. She stopped me. Her memory, her smile... I still cling onto it. It's all I have left of her. Whenever me and my father talked that week, he told me to try and speak with the bandits. He never said why. I never asked. I simply did so."

"..." Inese paused, and for a moment looked as if she was going to tear up. "Adrian was born into a family of three kids. His father was in the military as well. A few years after he was born, his father died in some foreign war he never really knew about. Adrian never knew his father very well. It didn't upset him like his brother and sister because he was too young to comprehend it. But what he did comprehend was that he went hungry night after night as his mother struggled to earn enough to feed all three."

"She eventually died too, from illness. The common cold. It's far more deadly than most realize, and when one is weak from starvation, well... it doesn't end well. The three kids were picked up by one of the local guardsmen, a shining citizen in his hometown. Respected, admired, and made quite a bit of money. The three were fed well and clothed far better than before. But Adrian never liked it. He missed his mother, of course, but it was more than that. His adoptive parent quickly taught them the ways of fighting. He expected all three of them to become soldiers, or at least town guards like him."

"He was never very good with a sword, or a lance, or whatever. He just wanted to be a family again. Years passed and he grew more and more distant with his siblings. He never did learn what became of them, but just assumed they did after all join the military of Laus. He slipped away in the middle of the night when he was fifteen. He simply couldn't handle the life he had been given."

"... he joined up with a bandit gang. Not because he wanted to, but because he had to feed himself. His group never fought. Well, at least, they never killed. As far as bandits went, they were rather civilized. They extorted and blackmailed, but they always got what they wanted without violence. Admirable, really. They also offered protection to those they took from, as a means of paying back."

"... maybe bandit isn't the right word. I don't know. All I know is that they took things in exchange for protection. They were rather localized. They stayed near a small waterfront village whose main trade was fishing. They actually lived somewhat in the town, or at least very close to it. Pretty soon, they meshed in with the people of the village. It was hard to tell who was who. Here he found his future wife, a maiden whose single father was beginning to pass on like his mother did."

"He comforted her. He spent his share of their extortion on a more proper burial, going so far as to actually pay for a gravestone in a city rather than by some muddy waters. He knew what it was like. The two grew close. Amelia... that was her name. After a few years, the two became married. A marriage that soon gave birth to a child."

"Adrian's gang never did stop extorting the village, but with the amount of members growing and the gold being earned dropping, they decided to expand their horizons. Their territory slowly expanded, and he simply continued to do what he did best. He fed his wife and daughter and he made sure to never harm a soul when he didn't have to. He still got into fights every few weeks, but rarely did they ever cause serious harm. Before the night I found him, he had killed two men. Both on accident, and both tormented him."

"Eventually, as more and more members joined, their message got diluted. Fights became more and more common. Morals between them began to fade. Soon, the money was all that mattered. It's easy to see where things led up. One thing to another, and soon enough, he came to my home. Our village was not so happy to see them."

"... I took as best of care as I could of him. He couldn't stop saying his thanks. He was worried that his wife and child would have to carry on the way his mother and he did. He couldn't bear the thought. I couldn't let him die. Adrian, with the help of me and my father, was soon ready to walk within a few days and could travel within two weeks."

"When he and the rest of the surviving bandits left, I couldn't help but feel sad, as if I was losing a friend. I learned of his story. I learned why he did what he did. The next morning..."

"... the next morning... the next morning, I saw his corpse on my way to our neighboring town for a monthly medicine run. It was cold. The air was as chilling as death herself. And on his face was a look of surprise. On everyone's faces. They didn't have any weapons; we had confiscated them while we healed them. They were murdered. In cold blood. They were killed by people like you."

"... by people like you, who think that they get to decide who's good and who's bad. Who's righteous and who's evil. Who deserves to be protected and who deserves to die. I never got to learn the name of the village he lived at. Whatever happened to his family, I don't know. All I know is that vigilantes like you took his life because they thought him a monster."

"... yes, Ito. I do think you're a monster. I think you're the worst of them all. You're worse than any walking corpse, any hellhound. You're a man who will, without hesitation, kill another man. But I, Inese Ozols, will save you, because that is my duty. I will not see any more smiles taken away this night."

She fell silent now, not moving a muscle besides to breathe and blink. Her staff was on her back now, the bandages and healing implements she used tucked away in her satchel. The only sounds were those of crickets in the night and the occasional snoring of her horse.

[Ito]

Ito looked into Inese's eyes, listening to her as she spoke. The words were all meaningless, in the end. Her tragedy, her loss. His tragedies, and his losses. Her story, his story. None of it mattered. The similarities were striking, albeit worded differently as she spoke. Despite this meaninglessness, Inese had found purpose. Ito recognized that she was compassionate; she proved such by her treatment of Adrian the bandit. The amount of emotion she was expressing to Ito right now testified of that. But did she know it? So... what can I do?

Understanding filled Ito's eyes as Inese spoke of saving. Pity soon replaced it as she mentioned there were people like Ito. Ito guessed that she would never understand that there was only one person like Ito, and that was Ito himself. All she saw was a monster, and there were plenty of monsters around lately. That didn't bother Ito; what did bother him was that she never implied thinking of her mother, a cavalier, or Adrian, a bandit, as monsters. Is it because she took the time to learn their stories?

Inese seemed drained. She knelt next to the stump, completely still aside from the breathing motions. Ito, sitting up, was looking down on her; he could tell she was tired, not likely from tending to him. "Inese. Thank you. Tonight, you have saved me. Physically, anyway. But let me tell you something. Do you simply think I am a monster because I've taken lives? I may not have thought of them as people, but because I haven't outright told you that their deaths weigh on me like a millstone you think I'm a monster?"

Contempt entered his voice as he stood, having a bit of his energy restored by the healing magic Inese had wrought upon him. "It's not that it matters. I've told you what I think, and so far each of your ideals have been the only ones worth anything to you. You may not have thought of your mother or the bandit boy that became your friend as monsters, but that's because you took the time to listen. You showed compassion. I never complained about you display of happiness, or lack thereof. I stated you lacked compassion. Empathy, concern, solicitude, sensitivity, tenderness, kindness, charity, humanity. You had none of that. To you, I was just another person. You never cared to learn my story, my reasons. You said you remember each one of the people you lost? You said I'm a monster because I never cared to learn?"

Ito took two steps, his back to Inese now as he picked up his sword with his left hand. "You may not want to believe it, but there's more to me than just a monster. Just like you've opened up to me and shared the littlest bit of who you are with me, I know there's more to you than a heartless healer. Like you saved Adrian to honor your mother's memory, I save those that I can in defense of my memories of Luci. She was never into fighting, but it was everything I knew since youth, and she supported me. She was killed by the real monsters. I honor her memory by saving those who would otherwise not be saved from the ruthlessness of true monsters. No, I don't speak of beasts that roam fields, preying on travelers. I speak of men. Horrifying, terrible men who've lost the good in their souls. You know what I've seen in them? Each one that I've killed?"

"Nothing. Until the moment they realized their time was up, there was nothing. No good, no care, no cause. Only an empty, hollow shell of what was a human, but was then consumed by evil until there was nothing left. Can I ask you something?" Ito turned his head, looking back at Inese. Fervor burned in his eyes as he looked into hers once again. "Do my eyes look empty? Do they seem void of a cause, lacking humanity? I kill, yes. But do I do it carelessly, and without good cause?"

Ito turned away again, gazing down at the ground as his back remained facing her. "No. I hesitate. I always do. Whenever you take a life, you lose a small part of you. The most important part. That comes to mind every moment before I kill, and every moment after. But even though I lose part of me, I keep going as best I can. Call me a monster; I won't care. In the end, I'll keep going. You'll keep going. Why? Because everybody needs a champion."

Everybody needs a champion.

[Inese Ozols]

"No. Your eyes are not empty. You still have the fire of humanity. I can see that clearly. But I also see it in everyone else's eyes as well." Inese stood upright after Ito finished speaking, walking over to her horse with silent steps. "Everyone needs a champion. So why do you take away those of others?"

The troubadour rummaged through the small bags strapped to the side of her steed, just light enough so that they did not impede the movement of the horse, yet large enough to give the impression it was serving just as much as a pack animal as it was a mount. After pushing a few loose articles out of the way, Inese dug out a patchwork sheet, torn and sewn back together what seemed to be a thousand times over. Walking back to Ito, she handed him the blanket.

"It's going to be cold tonight. I'll get a fire started. You should get some sleep. Tomorrow morning, I'll be taking you to a nearby village -- wherever one is -- and drop you off so you can get looked at more closely. Whatever you do from there is your choice. Now please cover up." Inese walked off from the stump again, now collecting rocks and sticks for what was presumed to be the fire she spoke of.

After some minutes of collecting, she plopped down on the muddy earth, forming a ring with the stones before doing her best to get the small scraps of foliage and twigs she had collected to light. Inese was not exactly good at such a task, though at the very least she still had a piece of flint from her raiding on a deserted homestead a week ago. She started to scratch the black rock against one of her knives, trying desperately to produce a spark that would begin a flame in these damp conditions.

It was going to be a long night.

[Ito]

Ito shook his head in disagreement as Inese first commented. I don't take away champions... Do I? Maybe she doesn't understand. As Inese handed him the blanket, he looked down at the ground, clutching the blanket in his fist. Do I not understand?

Still with his back to her, as she gathered sticks and rocks for a fire, Ito just stood there. Eyes closed, face calm, completely still; save for the trembling fist that held the blanket. He just stood there, lost in thought. What am I doing? Ito opened his eyes a bit, examining the ground carefully, as well as his appearance. His clothing was old, tattered, and ripped to pieces in some areas; it was covered in blood in most places. What am I doing?

Ito sheathed the old sword that he had been holding in his left hand, then carefully walking behind Inese as she tried to light the fire, he picked up a corner of the blanket in each of his hands and placed it gently on her shoulders while she sat there. "Thank you." A kindness entered his eyes as he spoke tenderly, kneeling down next to her. "If anyone should be saved from the cold, it's you; your work is better than mine, a work that the world needs. More people like you would change so much, for the better."

Ito reached out with both of his hands, holding them palms up. His hands were worn, calloused, and a bit bloody, but there was a gentleness about their appearance that seemed to show care and experience. "Mind if I try starting the fire?"

[Inese Ozols]

Inese did not dispute as the blanket was draped over her shoulders, instead clutching it closer to herself as she glanced at Ito. If the man wanted to die, so be it. The pain had apparently passed already, leaving only his headstrong attitude. The troubadour couldn’t wait until it came back in the morning, wiping the grin off his face. Perhaps, if she was lucky, his wounds would wake him in the middle of the night, the return of the pain hastened by the frigid air.

“Here.” She muttered, extending her dirtied hands out to Ito for him to take the instruments. The knife was worn and chipped, obviously cleaned and cared for but still suffering from age nonetheless. Faded gilding lined the tip of the hilt, an old crest or seal that had long since worn away. The stone was of poor quality; quite possibly it was chipped off of a larger chunk due to its small size and rough texture on one side. “Good luck.”

Pulling the blanket over herself, Inese stared at the bundle of sticks with an expectant look in her eyes. "... you haven't changed." She eventually said, watching the man's attempts at creating a flame. "You're not going to. You're a mercenary, aren't you? That armor you're wearing, it's not that of any Lycian force I'm aware of, and it's certainly far too shoddy craftsmanship to be of any real quality. Either you're from some country starved of money or you're a soldier of fortune."

She closed her eyes, falling down on her side as she attempted to find a somewhat comfortable position for sleeping on the muddy ground. "You fight for money. Maybe you fight for 'justice'. Perhaps you fight for some other reason that escapes me. No matter why, you make a living off of fighting, and most likely a majority of that is fighting other people. I doubt anything I've said is going to change that, or even remotely change what you think. You still think what you do is good. You'll fight to defend men and women who need protection no matter what the costs may be."

A yawn interrupted her speech, and the troubadour turned away from Ito as she lie on the ground. "You say that you think more like me would help the world, yet five minutes ago you called me a monster. Empty flattery will get you nothing, Ito. We both know your words are meaningless as mine are pointless. If anything, more people will respect you for staying true to who you are -- as wrong as your ways may be."

"... I'll be waking you early tomorrow. Good night." With that, she fell silent.

[Ito]

Ito shook his head as Inese spoke, trying to start the fire. What is my problem? Why do I jump to such conclusions so often? Why do I never say what I really mean? Ito's hands were getting kinda cold, and the skin on his left hand was getting roughed up from constant striking against the old knife's edge with the small piece of flint Inese gave him. She had quieted now, laying down and turning away from Ito. Ito got up from his kneeling position, and walked quietly to a patch of grass. The plant was long, dry, and perfect for catching sparks. He pulled some from the ground, then walking back he carefully wove the dry grass into a bird's nest shape. Setting the best on the dry ground in front of him, he began striking the knife and flint again.

It felt therapeutic, almost, like beating up someone who attacked him or a friend. What is my problem? Each strike grew in intensity, and before long his passionately strong blows against the knife created sparks. Once he'd caught several sparks in the bird's nest, he dropped the flint and knife and picked up the nest. Raising it above him in the air, he folded the grass around the baby flames, blowing with cautious strength and waving it through the air to keep the oxygen flowing while he inhaled for another attempt. After several breaths, the nest burst into flames, and Ito set it down in the middle of Inese's firepit. Shortly afterwards the small sticks were caught in the blaze, and Ito began collecting wood to keep the fire going through the night. What am I doing?

Settling down next to the fire, Ito laid on his back and faced the sky. It was rather beautiful, the night sky. The gold and silver stars shone like bright rays of hope, and there were millions of them in view. The moon set a nice light about the night, the softer tone constrasting the hard, orange light that the fire projected on the surroundings. He raised his left hand in front of him, finally noticing what striking the rock against the knife so hard had done to his hand. While it was a bit more difficult to see in the night, Ito noticed that the knife's edge had sliced through the top layer of his skin, and that his hand had bled for a bit. Oops. Setting his hand back on the ground, Ito looked up in the sky once more before closing his eyes.

What other things have I cut, without realizing it?