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Post by Remus on Dec 20, 2016 19:59:24 GMT -6
The air of post scouring Elibe? Then that was to imply...
"So you did not rely on these er..dragon stones as it were..until after the scouring? That seems like quite a drastic change. Why would it be that you needed them? What happened to cause you to depend upon the stones to utilize your power? Or..I guess I should ask, what changed with Elibe during the scouring that you needed to rely on stones?"
The priest now opened his eyes. His curiosity had taken a dominant roll in the conversation and he found himself thinking of quite literally no less than four thousand things at once. However there was one notion he could relate to. If only in a minute way. The priest lifted his staff and lightly clasped the curved top in one hand. His palm pressing to the smooth cold surface of the gemstone upon it while fingers grazed the curvature it formed. His gaze fondly traversing upon this implement which had been so vital to him over the many past months, he couldn't help but think of the gem atop it when he thought of stones. The priest chuckled before directing his gaze to Nayru.
"That...isn't as strange of a concept as I imagined it would be though in all honesty. I mean..it is very common for our staves to house a gemstone that we utilize as a focal point for out magic. I couldn't begin to tell you why we utilize them like this or what it is about gemstones that makes them such exceptional conduits for our magic. Heh, though admittedly we can't transform into dragons or the like obviously. At-least, if that's the case I am a bit disgruntled that no one bothered to tell us!"
Though this prompted another question. One brought up by the thought of transformations. He'd seen her take on what looked like a partial change. When they had battled the gargoyles. Though at the time he'd merely thought it to be an imagined fancy or his eyes playing tricks on him. Even as his fingers lightly continued to graze her arm to detect the slow shifting changes he examined her arm and hand one more while speaking. Intent to find the changes visibly if they could be discerned.
"Does it hurt? When you transform from human form to dragon form or become er...partial dragon like? Do you feel anything really or even feel remotely different?"
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Post by Nayru Al-Saiduq on Dec 20, 2016 22:01:09 GMT -6
Hm. Apparently she hadn't worded that first bit quite right for Remus to understand it... or maybe he didn't know it. Or he had just been ignoring her and imagining world domination. Nayru wasn't sure which was more likely. It was always the nice ones.
"You ever wonder why dragons hate the legendary weapons so much?" Nayru spoke with a very small amount of mirth, but there was a slight amount of bitterness to it too. She could only speak of pre-Scouring Elibe from what she had read, but what she experienced on this island - still so full of life and magic - had helped her understand just what she was missing out on. It didn't change her mind on anything important, but she had just a little bit more resentment for whoever created the weapons nonetheless. "They consumed all ambient magic in the atmosphere, causing the Ending Winter. Now the air of Elibe is like a vacuum seeking to fill itself with air once again. A dragon without a stone will just be drained until there's nothing left. Those... things... literally turned the world itself against us."
Welp, that got dark pretty fast.
Trying to move on to better subjects, Nayru decided to leave it there and focus on his other question, which she could at least answer without feeling the familiar morass of hatred rise in her heart. She was supposed to be in control of that now, not vice-versa, and didn't like to be reminded otherwise. "Well, I'm... probably not the best example, but... yes, my transformations used to be rather... explosive." Painful was another word for it, but she didn't like admitting weakness if she could help it. "Halfshifting isn't painful, but stressful in a number of ways, which is why I try to limit its usage. Aside from some of the more obvious reasons, heh."
Since they weren't really doing touchy-feelsy anymore, she crossed her arms behind her head and leaned up against the standing tree behind the trunk they were sitting on. "I guess it's actually sort of like human magic, now that I think about it. The power source is unlimited, but the conduit isn't. All the power in the world doesn't help much if you can't handle it." It spoke a great deal of Nayru's unusual perspective and unique 'problem' that she just assumed all dragons had unlimited power, so used to struggling with the ramifications of it as compared to normal people things like having to train their own power, and so while unintentional it was technically untrue and certainly misleading for Remus.
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Post by Remus on Dec 20, 2016 23:26:28 GMT -6
In earnest, he'd never thought about it. He'd never had a reason to. However if he'd ever had to put money on it he would've simply guessed the association of it through the wielders. Why was that? Through out all of human history, it was as evenly the legendary weapons as it was the wielding heroes that were attributed with victory. People were more likely to speak of Roland's might, or Hammond's skill, or Athos's power, as opposed to that of their weapons. Hubris, maybe? The priest tapped his chin quietly in thought, speaking aloud.
"Honestly...I think though a basic observation, most of our culture historically attributed the power to the Heroes. Seldom are the weapons themselves as attributed, despite being well..the legendary weapons. Obviously they were still considered superior to traditional weapons and tomes...but it's always simply been emphasized how powerful the Heroes themselves were. To imagine or well..acknowledge that it was the weapons consuming the magic around Elibe itself and siphoning..that just sounds horrible! Did...did they know what it was doing when they wielded the weapons? That they were harming the land itself to use these weapons?"
Perhaps it was in poor taste to question a dragon about the Scouring Heroes, or the Legendary weapons, but this was in his mind the only person he could ever come to for such thoughts in general. Nayru having an extensive life-span and access to knowledge he'd never have even dreamed existed. Though it did make him feel a small vestige of shame dwell up within him. The priests expression turning to a small frown as he gazed back down at the dragon's arm, pondering just how horrible had humanity been? He recalled Nayru once saying that dragon's certainly weren't guiltless, and he was entirely sure that it was the case. However neither was humanity.
The priest let that crestfallen look vanish the moment she changed topics however, instinctively smiling towards her while she began to transition to a more informative mode again. It sent a shiver down the length of his spine, which then traversed all the way back up at the idea of transforming. Some greater form exploding from his own and altering his very body. It was a truly fearsome prospect. It made him wonder if that might've been why he'd never seen her transform. Could he ask her that? Was it too personal? The priest figured that if they were already treading water, it didn't matter too much if he moved into deeper waters. Just so long as no shark arrived to drag him down; but he trusted Nayru. Just as she seemed to trust him. Though he tried, he suspected he couldn't truly grasp the sheer caliber of the secrets she revealed to him.
"Is..that why you don't transform much? I mean..even if your in danger? Because it hurts? Though ah, I guess your right there about the similarities between humans and dragons with limits and magic. The only times I've attempted to use the spell that we've simply come to know as "purge", I felt like my body would burst from within. My skin burned as if tiny fires lit within my veins and I truly felt like I would combust from within. I have never felt quite like that any other time but it was definitely scary. For me at-least."
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Post by Nayru Al-Saiduq on Dec 21, 2016 1:29:19 GMT -6
"Iunno." Nayru kinda-sorta shrugged, though it was hard to do much with her hands behind her head as they were. "The heroes were probably about as strong as humans can ever get, but the weapons were on a level that nothing could match. I doubt they used those things trying to cause the Ending Winter, but humanity and dragons alike suffered for it nonetheless." The funny thing was, if she put it like that it was hard to really put the blame on anyone for that. Whatever humans forged them obviously hadn't intended to cause a dark age, the Heroes certainly hadn't intended to use them against humanity as well, and it definitely wasn't the dragons' fault. So who DID you hate about that, anyway? And... from what she heard... the legendary weapons were just stupid strong now, at least going from the tales of Athos supposedly casting Forblaze a decade or so ago. So funny enough, you couldn't even hate THEM by this point, they had been just as screwed over from their original power as everyone else.
In the end though, it didn't really matter. For certain obvious reasons Nayru would never exactly be fond of them, but much like the rest of the Scouring, it had happened a thousand years ago - a horror perpetrated by those who were almost universally dead - in the midst of a world war in which neither side were innocent. You could throw around all the blame you wanted, it didn't mean anything after a certain point. Yeah, she did think humans probably should have stopped short of destroying the god damn continent to win, but hindsight gave perspective not necessarily available to a desperately embattled race fighting for their very survival.
As for transforming... well, Remus certainly had some interesting ideas on that subject. Nayru gut-chuckled at his idea, not meaning to be derisive, though there was darkness rather than humor in her laughter. She was no stranger to pain, and the problem with transforming had never been its unpleasantness.
"...No, I've had a..." she trailed off, dropping her arms from their resting place as Nayru ran into her eternal mental block on the subject. She didn't talk about this crap for a REASON. But... maybe she should. The thought swirled around in her mind throughout the moment of silence, before somewhat impulsively Nayru decided to continue. She wasn't sure if it was because she felt safe with Remus or an attempt to convince him that she wasn't worth looking up to, but the reasoning didn't matter that much at this point. What difference did it make? "For most of my life, doing so put... anyone nearby in danger," she shied away from the ugly truth, not quite brave enough to actually say it. "I finally gained control, but, well."
The dragon crossed her arms against her stomach, almost like some pathetic attempt at a self-hug. It sounded INCREDIBLY stupid to bitch about. "Now, I, uh," Oh yeah I'm TOO strong, don't you feel sorry for me? Poor Nayru, she finally has control of her transformed self and enough power to re-enact the Scouring on a smaller scale, and she was f**k**g complaining about it. "Kinda sorta warp the world around me and alter the weather aaaaaaand theremaypossiblybesomenetherinvolved." Phew! May have accidentally said that a little fast but that was fine, these things happened, would sure be a pity if Remus didn't understand or anything but she was sure life would move on and so would she!
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Post by Remus on Dec 21, 2016 18:54:12 GMT -6
There was a small part of him that felt relief at Nayru's speculation. If only because, to him, and likely all of humanity, she was a leading expert on the events of the scouring. At-least compared to their knowledge. They had a flawed perspective of history at their disposal. She had two sides, and multiple life-times(by his standards) worth of time to process and analyze that knowledge. So for her to say that the great heroes of humanity, one of which he'd spent his life trying to emulate to a degree, did not knowingly condemn humanity and the world dragons and humans called home simply in the sake of defeating an enemy allowed him to maintain optimism.
That did not change the fact though that it had happened. If people as magically gifted as Elimine and Athos could not detect it, it made it an even more severe threat. If they were able to, it was more deplorable and no less a dangerous hazard they had indulged in. The priest decided to shelve this trail of thoughts for the time being. The conversation couldn't go anywhere. Not anywhere productive at-least. So while his gaze continued to rest on Nayru, he tilted his head curiously while she explained the dangerous aspects of her transformations. Though this evoked a laugh from Remus, it was more through the first reaction he'd had. One he openly spoke aloud to try and contextualize his thoughts to her so that she didn't take his laughter(brief as it was) as anything offensive.
"Well..while I can't attest to my ability to whether the storm..as it were..just know that I think I may be apt at helping lessen damage should you find such happening! I'll have you know, I've survived three explosions and we both witnessed it! I believe that gives me a bit of lee-way to spend more time around you even if you do became um..dangerous?"
The priest nodded and tapped his staff lightly onto the ground with a bright smile.
"Well. Warping the world around you or not, and nether inclusion or not, the answer seems quite simple."
His heart was so visible from that blue robed sleeve of his that the priests staple blue robes would likely turn purple from all that red. After all, he had a terrible habit of speaking his thoughts as he thought them. It was an amazing stroke of fortune he didn't have to lie often.
"I just have to grow stronger as a healer and with my defensive magics! That way, I can help you no matter how dangerous it is for others, or yourself! If I got to where I am now, I can get even further in the future. I just have to work at it! Heh."
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Post by Nayru Al-Saiduq on Dec 21, 2016 21:14:45 GMT -6
Remus's optimism was an unstoppable force that could break through any boundary, a tsunami of cheer to drown the world. But sometimes the immovable force won. He meant well, and Nayru truly did appreciate it, but the problem wasn't so much what she did from here. The damage had already been done. She had been directly responsible for the deaths of hundreds... possibly thousands of humans over centuries. And while she had some control now, the simple fact was that with her continually growing power and the increasing severity of her transformation's effects on the world around her, she couldn't afford to simply rely on Remus's goodwill for protecting others.
"Not even you can change the past, Remus," Nayru stated with a tiny bit more harshness than was actually needed. She wasn't trying to hurt him of course, but it was a desperate attempt to push him away at the same time. She already regretted revealing anything. And if Nayru was to be... completely honest with herself? It bothered her a little that Remus had belittled her problem so much, even if he meant well. She was f**k**g terrified of that power. Not since the Legendary Weapons had she heard of a weapon that could change the very weather on that scale, or even anything close. If Erim couldn't help her find a solution, it might be necessary to look into more... extreme solutions, as much as sealing herself or throwing away her stone, and losing everything she had found recently... ironically enough for their own good.
It was... ironic in a way, though, that now more than ever she actually understood why the legendary weapons had been created. Something she had never really thought about before, in the world she had been born into. Where dragons couldn't use their power safely. Where the legendary weapons would be obvious overkill. But in some way, trying to deal with... whatever she had turned into, or maybe always been, had given Nayru the perspective to overwhelm her hatred of their existence. Perhaps they had been a necessary evil. And maybe, in turn, Remus would need to do the same for her if Veigue couldn't. "You have more important things to do than throwing your life away on me, anyways."
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Post by Remus on Dec 21, 2016 22:31:21 GMT -6
Not even you can change the past Remus.
Wasn't that the truth. The priest was not at all taken aback by her tone. If anything, he understood it. Though the priest was practically incapable of displaying any negativity or severity...he felt it. The priest's tone became more reflective. He rose from his seat near Nayru and quietly took a few steps away from her. In part, to actually obscure his expression. He didn't like anyone seeing him frown. It was unpleasant. The other reason was to stretch his legs. Bend his knees. Get the blood flowing. He spoke once more, as he thought. Some day he'd learn to stop doing that. That day, was not today. It was also perhaps one of the first times, in his life, that Remus spoke with a bit more hardened tone. One that almost sounded bitter. Stained with remorse and seething in sorrow. His gaze lowered a bit before he spoke, though.
"I wonder that. All the time. If it was possible. Would it be worth it? Saving the orphanage. Saving Amelia and Owain from that sight, you know. Their brothers and sisters burnt alive. Family, friends, butchered and dead. Their home in flames and crumbling. Survivor's guilt is hard for us all, I think, but hardest on them. They don't quite understand it. They don't know why, even if it is usually as simple as being at the right place at the right time. All they know, is a-lot of people they loved died and they didn't. I regret. So, so very much, being unable to fix their lives. Give them the happy childhood's they deserved, and that which is forever robbed.
And so I fret. I distress. I even weep. Because your right. I can't change the past. No matter how passionately I yearn for it. No matter how badly my mind wishes to return to earlier times and shield those children...I can't. I can't will a better reality by feeling it. But then I realize..."
He turned to gaze at Nayru, frown leaving his face and his expression becoming a bit more placid.
"If things hadn't turned out this way...? I would've never met you. I would've stayed put, in that same small Etrurian town within the church serving honest hardworking people...but unable to guide the larger picture. I would not have met the amazing people I have. I would not know about you , and your origins. We would've never met. Amelia wouldn't have her role-model and hero in you. I would've likely never developed the powers I have to the extremes I did. I might've never known about Taguel. This conversation itself would not be happening. "
His gaze adjusted to her quietly while he spoke, still holding a quiet expression and air about him.
"For the record. I don't have more important things. Other than the twins and my immediate family you've become a great friend, and someone I care for and do not wish to see harmed or upset. So assisting you, will never be throwing my life away. Merely helping a good friend, who helped me many times."
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Post by Nayru Al-Saiduq on Dec 22, 2016 3:43:06 GMT -6
"Remus..."
She had heard him speak of the events at the orphanage before. Nayru knew he felt regret for it. But he had never actually gone that much into detail on how... deeply he felt it. In some ways, she could understand it. Not exactly the same, but the decision she had made in Sacae had been somewhat similar. Hunt down the Arum beast where he hid - or try to save people in Bern from the ravages of the chimera. She had chosen to protect Mana, and likely hundreds of people in Bern had died as a result before she got there to stop the creature's rampage. To someone like Remus, who lived to help others, what had been a cruel decision for her would have been truly heartbreaking, and she was seeing a glimpse of that now.
Though in truth his situation was perhaps all the worse, because he hadn't had a choice at all. One could argue that in making the choice she had become directly rather than indirectly responsible for death, but one could also argue that Remus would very much have liked to have a choice of his own - even if it meant breaking his own oaths - even if it meant him killing every raider there in order to protect the children. Given her nature, Nayru thought that she would dislike to be in his situation more; to be powerless was just as much of a fear for her as to be too powerful. The eternal dichotomy. Neither extreme was preferable.
But at the same time - his situation simply proved how different they were. His greatest regret was that he couldn't save people one time. A reasonable one to be sure, but so inherently different than hers that it was night and day. As selfless as hers was selfish; as brave as hers was cowardly. Unintentionally he had just illustrated how different they actually were.
"...Remus. Do you remember our talk, in that tavern in Ilia? I told you..." she trailed off for a moment, closing her eyes as she relived the memory for a moment before opening her eyes and quoting the words exactly as she had said them then, not even a whit of difference; it was almost as if the atmosphere had changed. "My hands are already drenched in blood." And it had. For in that moment, she had almost literally been the Nayru of that night. "For centuries, I could not control my emotions. When enough built up, I transformed involuntarily in moments when my emotions took control of me, losing control of my body. My berserk body killed hundreds... possibly thousands of innocent people, a result of my own cowardice."
It wasn't any easier to say than she'd thought it would be, but Nayru pressed on relentlessly nonetheless, determined to finish the job and prove to Remus that he was wasting his time. It was self-destructive, yes, but that was her specialty after all. "I didn't have the courage to... end myself, or the knowledge to cure myself, so I simply ran. Until I met Veigue, who helped me tame the other side and you, who showed me what living... could have be like." She turned to him directly, almost fierce in her demeanor. "Monsters like me are why the legendary weapons were created."
"And now my power is growing out of control again. The last time I transformed, I shattered the skies of much of southern Bern." And THAT cat was out of the bag, not that it really mattered at this point. Just had to finish destroying one of the only two relatively healthy relationships she had so she could go back to being miserable. What fun that would be. "Remus, I'm tired of running, and I don't know how to fix me. I have one last idea to try, an... old friend who might be able to help, but that's it. If she can't fix me-"
Nayru ran out of words there, breathing heavily as she tried to put her mind to the task of imagining what she could even do at that point. But she had nothing more for Remus. At least now he'd see how worthless she actually was and stop wasting his time on her.
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Post by Remus on Dec 22, 2016 16:55:45 GMT -6
Remus listened. Though in part, he had admittedly slowly come to suspect something similar purely through the back of his more skeptical self because of her comments; never had he suspected it was something so severe. The moment Nayru waited for however, where he expressed shock or horror or terror..that never came. The priest felt many things. However there was one thing he felt more than anything else. So he returned her gaze, meeting her tone with a serious stain within his words as Remus extended a hand to rest upon the draconic woman's remarkably solid shoulder. He continued where her words left off, the lapis clad priest speaking with a rare assertion in his tone.
"Then we will."
His gaze did not drift from her own eyes for even a second. The priest's fingers lightly tightening in grip for further emphasis as he spoke swiftly. Still wearing his heart on his sleeve as best as any true fool could.
"I understand. Conceptually. However you haven't given up yet. Your alive. That's how I know. And I don't care, how many great heroes arise toting legendary weapons, they can't take you. I won't let them. I won't let you take yourself either. If an army would arise, then I will simply heal you until they can no longer lift their weapons. Nayru, you are a good person. You may have taken lives, but you have also saved them."
His mind instantly recalled to the words of the first mentor he had, when learning how to heal. An old man with large fuzzy eyebrows who could barely open his eyes, but was perhaps one of the kindest men in all of Etruria. Those words came to him now, the same ones he'd been told when being instructed how to heal.
"Often times...if a healer cannot save someone they are accused of letting them die. True, it isn't murder..but the guilt is all the same. Honestly...perhaps worse because the power to save them was in your grasp...but I was taught one important thing. Do not count the lives you couldn't save. Count the lives you do. Nayru, you said you couldn't control yourself. You are not a monster. I...understand why you are so hard on yourself. But you can't let that stop you from realizing that you've done some amazing things. "
He briefly adjusted to her level and looked her square in the eye. As deathly serious as he had ever been, the smile in his face gone.
"If you had done the brave thing...I would be dead, as would the children. So let anyone. Let Anyone dare say that you did the cowardly thing, and I...I..will have some very choice words for them. It all adds up. Any life I save, from that moment forwards with the gargoyles, or even from our first meeting at Ilia, is thanks to you. Every life that anyone I saved, saves, is thanks to you. Yes. People were lost. Words will never explain the sorrow at that, and I will never begin to comprehend how you feel."
He inhaled briefly. Water imbued within the corners of the priests eyes. He wasn't used to being so emotional but the passion of his conviction was certainly there.
"But I know how they feel. Every time I heal a father...and his daughter runs into his arms. A mother, who holds her son right after. A child that runs to their parents. A brother. A sister. A lover. A neighbor. A friend. Countless times, I've seen those faces of elation because they thought someone might die and they survived. Yes...I may have healed them, but only because you got me this far Nayru. You have just as much a hand in their lives being saved, as I do. And...well..."
The priest was so guided by instinct, that he swiftly extended his other arm and tightly wrapped them around Nayru. Instantly the mass of blue priest was upon her as he tightly squeezed her while trying his best to maintain his tone, as he tried not to imagine the events of which he began to speak.
"If the world should ever try to fix you...by heroes or weapons, then the world will deal with me fixing it first. I won't let you give up Nayru. I won't leave you to it. Your the best friend I've ever had, and your my Hero. If you lose control...I'll just have to be there to prevent anything bad from happening. Because I'm not about to let you off the hook that easy!"
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Post by Nayru Al-Saiduq on Dec 22, 2016 18:40:36 GMT -6
She flinched when Remus's hand touched her shoulder, but the fight had left Nayru even before Remus started speaking and it didn't come back. What was she going to do, anyways, argue with him? No Remus, I should have let you die. No Mana, I'll just leave you to die on the plains to save some people I don't know. That's alright Veigue, go ahead and die horribly to Jaquio's assassins, it's not my problem anyways, and I'm sure there's a horse somewhere in Nabata who needs my help. There was ALWAYS a tradeoff. She couldn't be everywhere at once, she couldn't help everyone all the time.
Which... didn't really make her feel better about the whole thing. But there wasn't a great deal she could do about it at this point, was there now? And one of the things Remus had said stuck with her. That lives she saved now added up. Compounded. That was an ideal she had... tried to believe before. That somehow it would make up for what she had done. It obviously hadn't worked out that well beyond a talking point if she was here now having a wonderful meltdown, but it did sound a little bit more believable coming from Remus than her own diseased mind. If nothing else it made her feel as though there was still some degree of hope at least.
Remus's decision to actually hug her had taken her a bit off guard when it happened, but as her turbulent thoughts finally began to ebb Nayru found it in herself to hesitantly return the motion to a degree, at least with one arm. The irony of trying to hug him with the other, the home of the darkened tattoos that proved how far her power had gone, was a bit too much even for her.
But she still didn't really have much of a response to anything he'd said. Partially because there was just too much of it. Partially because it was just too much for her to handle at once. And to no small degree because she just couldn't think of anything to say that didn't sound really f**k**g stupid. She didn't even want to try to figure out what she thought about all this, so bereft of anything better to say or think, Nayru settled for a murmured "...Thanks, Remus." It wasn't... exactly... the best conversational moment from her, but at this point it was a bit on Remus to figure out what to do with her.
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Post by Remus on Dec 22, 2016 21:25:29 GMT -6
Nayru would forever be someone Remus held in high regards. Even if she didn't see it that way. Hopefully his hug could convey everything his words could not. Her single arm hug however told him that was simply not the case. This seemed like a war not won by a single engagement. The priest relented, eventually letting go and pulling away before sitting down next to her one more. Robes rustling before he tried to fix them, and laid his staff along his waist length wise with his hands resting on the right and left sides of the stave. The weight balanced out either end to put pressure down upon his knees universally. He tilted his head while deciding to try and draw the conversation elsewhere.
"So um..this friend you mentioned going to see? If I can ask. Who is it? Would you have to travel far to meet her?"
For her to be able to help Nayru, or understand more about her condition that could only mean...
Another dragon? It seemed most likely. Who else on Elibe would know enough about dragon's or transformations to help answer such an issue. Remus had no right to insist on joining, but he also knew his desire to be with Nayru at literally almost all times in the event of her losing control was a strong one. Even if it was purely to try and add credence to his words. The priest also loathed the idea of Nayru traveling alone. Especially with how vulnerable she'd revealed herself as internally. Maybe vulnerable wasn't the right, or fair word.
None the less, the priest would gaze curiously to Nayru with a patient look as he awaited her response. Of-course, if she didn't tell him who he would simply drop it. Anything at this point to shift the conversation so she might not dwell on such negative thoughts.
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Post by Nayru Al-Saiduq on Dec 22, 2016 22:12:43 GMT -6
Well, so much for plan A huh? Remus was too busy being... Remus to be smart enough to dip, leaving them stuck together like flies on crap. Errr... in retrospect not the best simile she had ever thought of. Did seem kinda relevant though, so not THAT wrong, just normal wrong.
The mention of Erim certainly did quite a bit to bring Nayru's brain back to life though, thinking along multiple angles as she considered her response with more care than she usually did. There was the Erim subject itself, obviously. No surprise there. Did she trust Remus enough to share it? Yes. Would that knowledge hurt Erim? No. But it was more complex than that. Explaining much about Erim meant dropping the inevitable, crucial word - Arcadia. A mecca of sorts to humans. A world about which they knew nothing but dreamed of nonetheless. Full of dragons and humans alike who could be harmed by their discovery. Revealing Arcadia's existence to the unworthy was condemning it to a swift and absolute death. And there was also the matter that she had intended to make this journey alone, without telling anyone where it was. Even Veigue she had only told of its existence, and little more.
Some of the mental processes were still ongoing when Nayru reached a partial conclusion, at least enough to continue to some degree. Of course. There was a difference in being willing to speak and being able to speak, a great deal of a difference in fact at times! And this was, unfortunately, most assuredly one of those times. Nonetheless it was something that she SHOULD be able to say, so Nayru forced herself to begin nonetheless. "...Her name is... Erim." There was no hiding the absolute reverence in her tone; Nayru didn't even know how to describe her, but Erim held a very large portion of her heart in an iron grip. "The wisest and most powerful dragon I've ever known... she raised me and... gave me a childhood."
The dragon was trying her best to just pump out the info like it was the time of day, but there was clear effort involved in it. Not hesitation per se. But more of a grinding out. "I, um, ran away a few centuries ago, so I have to hope she's still willing to talk to me and help out, because I think she knows more about me than I do." She hadn't realized it at the time of course. Nayru was not the brightest and most observant of children, completely unaware of the difficulty in controlling her power. She had been vaguely aware of Erim's calming influence, but not until much later had it begun to occur to her that there may have been more to it than mentality. Erim had always seemed so sad when the subject of their meeting came up, refused to tell Nayru of much of it, deflecting her expertly such that the child had been satisfied. But the older Nayru saw it better now for what it was. Erim knew more than she had told about Nayru. And now, she needed to know it too.
"As for where..." Nayru grimaced, "the problem isn't how far, but... where."
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Post by Remus on Dec 22, 2016 22:51:39 GMT -6
The wisest and most powerful dragon I've ever known... she raised me and... gave me a childhood
Right. So in that moment we'd established that this was in-fact a dragon. Probably a really old dragon. One who was strong and wise, and likely was involved in the scouring? That was certainly presumptuous of him. That didn't change the fact that he'd thought it. Remus becoming contemplative while he turned to gaze at the ground for a moment, hand rising to clasp his chin lightly while he imagined it. Before his brain hitched on that final part.
"Gave me a childhood."
So her mother? Nayru was going to see her mother? For some reason that evoked a smile upon the priests lips before he looked up to the dragon brightly. Curiosity wildly consuming his thoughts as if he was entering the temple all over again. The lapis haired priest tucked his hand aside once more before speaking up, his tone as clear and expressive in his interest as his gaze.
"So wait,were talking about your mother...right? Or a pseudo mother? Um...I guess foster mother?I um..obviously don't know much about her but does she seem the type to hold a grudge?"
Though another question floated around inside his head. She seemed to emphasize that the precise location of this dragons residence was a hindrance. Though he realized it was also a breach in trust to inquire, the priest felt curiosity seize him primarily while he tapped at his chin in absent thought.
"Ohh. Um..if you don't mind me asking..why is the location such an issue? Where is it that it's so hard for you to get to?"
He couldn't imagine too many places, if any, that would provide a problem for Nayru. Which made him quite worried about her if it was a place she genuinely worried about reaching.
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Post by Nayru Al-Saiduq on Dec 23, 2016 2:49:23 GMT -6
"...Adoptive." That part was easy enough to answer. Not entirely accurate, but close enough to the truth that Nayru didn't feel a need to stress it too far beyond that. The other part of the first question, not so much. Or rather that part was even easier to answer, but she wasn't as sure it was true. Nayru had never seen her idol all that frustrated... emotional even... but then she couldn't reach inside the older woman's labyrinthine mind either, confirm if that was true. For all she knew, Erim HAD resented her, had regretted raising her as she did. From what little she gathered Erim had never been the type to open up to others much, and while she had been somewhat more expressive to Nayru, it still wasn't that much.
"I... I don't think she would, but... I'm not sure I ever truly understood her, and I left on... less than ideal terms." It was an honest admission but not one any easier for that fact, and Nayru was more than happy to move beyond it as soon as possible. She hated saying ANYTHING negative about Erim in the least, but it was true that she had never truly understood the ancient dragon; Nayru of course could understand the concept of age pulling you apart from the young, but the sheer... scale of Erim's age was so vast that the difference was far greater than even she and the average human.
Ha ha... why was it an issue, indeed? Nayru truly wished that it wasn't. That all could come to Arcadia and see what the future could be. Humans and dragons, living and loving and learning. Together. Yes, there were the crotchety old dragons here and there, but none that held true hatred against their shorter lived counterparts. It was the ultimate emblem of peace, born in the dying hours of the Scouring by those whom not even a century of genocidal war could break. And it showed. There was a quiet hope there. But also a sort of depressingness; most had given up on the Elibe outside. Understandably so. But she felt as though... maybe the risk was worth it. Not her choice to make. But as a group, she wouldn't mind if they did make an attempt.
"It is a place where humans and dragons live in harmony," Nayru began, her tone soft and fond. As many issues as she had with Arcadia's flaws, as she saw them, it was still an incredible accomplishment; imperfect but the most perfect attempt she had ever seen. "A... memorial of what Elibe was like before the Scouring, and an example of what it could be again. A repository of knowledge that Etruria could only dream of. The home of legends that have come to life." She couldn't help but remember her arguments with Aerious. The ideals she had spoken of. The future she was willing to fight for. She had never stopped believing in them, or trying to work for them, but the concepts of then had... evolved since then. Nayru had been forced to better understand their weaknesses, their strengths; what could be fixed and what must be replaced. She still couldn't say her vision was perfect. There was a great deal she did not truly understand, but rather than a fool who did not know she was a fool, Nayru had finally graduated to the esteemed position of a fool who knew she was a fool.
...The distinction didn't feel like that much of a compliment. Heh. Nonetheless, a... very stupid thought had come to mind unbidden nonetheless. One so foolish that the her of any past time would have denounced it in an instant, battered and broken and blasted it apart that it might never trouble her again. But the Nayru of the now - the fool who wore the jester's cap and long-toed shoes proudly, who danced and capered and gamboled amidst the flickering flames of a world gone mad - that Nayru was either too smart or too stupid to do the same, and she could not for the life of her tell which. It was irresponsible and reckless and foolish even for her, but therein lay the beauty of a sort. For what was a jester who did not tell jokes?
"Remus." A harlequin smile grew on her lips, the dragon's good sense hurled away into the wind for a moment. Perhaps she was simply afraid to be alone. Perhaps, in some sort of backwards nonsensical way, she was trying one last time to drive him away entirely. Maybe she was just selfishly trying to push her ideals onto someone else. In the end, did it matter? "How would you like to visit Arcadia?"
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Post by Remus on Dec 23, 2016 16:32:08 GMT -6
He observed her while she spoke briefly but more so of her adoptive mother.
Leaving on poor terms could create friction, but if this woman was any semblance of a motherly figure he had a strong feeling that she wouldn't hold hostility towards Nayru. At-least, from what he'd seen in parental figures that was seldom the case. Having raised orphans for several years of his life, he could attest to that. Once you had cared for someone, and tended them in the way a parent would, you couldn't ever really stop being their parent. It became instinct. Paternal or Maternal nature would forever remain rooted in the mind and always find itself applicable to the recipient of such nurturing. Even when he'd helped take care of orphans as a child, who were close to his own age, he'd acted like an older brother. Tending their wounds. Helping them clean or making food. It was just a switch that could never be turned off all the way. So he had faith. That was something he was good at.
Then however she began to speak of something else. The "where" he'd inquired.
The priest did a literal double-take.
His eyes widened in shock, as he registered what she spoke of.
Dragons. Humans. Peace.
Those three words echoed in his mind as he processed it fully. Head tilting and mouth slightly agap in literal awe and shock, before the priest briefly shook himself from his daze(literally) to lift a hand. Fingers combing slowly through messy blue hair as he tried to just..comprehend. The world he spoke of wanting to see. It existed! His smile widened as the priest nearly leapt from his sitting poise, tilting his head and gaze locking on on her while listening to every word she spoke concerning this marvelous place.
He was at a loss for words! No comments could be made because the words to adequately convey the joy he felt were obviously not ones to exist. His expression though said what his language could not. Then..she asked him the question that literally had him leaping to his feet. The priest was extremely happy!
"Yes! Haha, Yes yes! Yes! Oh, goodness wouldn't that be a sight to see!?"
He wasn't just happy because it existed. He was happy Nayru asked him. That she would allow him to see such a wonderful place. There was a brief moment of absolute elation before the priest felt dizziness seize him and he slowly sat down. He was at an absolute loss because his mind was questions and phrases all in one.
"I um..oh..goodness gracious I..Don't know where to start! So many questions! The hows. The whens. The where fors. So many! Did you grow up there? What is it like? How long have you been gone?"
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