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Post by Nayru Al-Saiduq on Dec 27, 2016 1:06:44 GMT -6
As Shara adjusted her stance Nayru realized that the other dragon hadn't just been acting modest about being rusty; she actually was that out of shape so to speak. Didn't mean Shara was weak or an idiot, just not used to fighting much recently, something Nayru could empathize with all too well! Just made it more important to take this seriously, and doubly so to recognize that this wasn't just an excuse to punch stuff harder than usual as she had somewhat taken the Aeos match as - Nayru recognized that in this scenario, the act was entirely for Shara's benefit, to help her better get back into fighting condition and maybe learn a thing or two.
It was... probably for the best that she hadn't thrown that right hook anything near as hard as an actual right hook or it probably would've taken Shara off her feet on the spot, the whole point of a big showy punch like that was that you HAD to deal with. Nayru would have tried to explain it, but lessons like those were the kind of thing you had to figure out on your own to a degree. Taking a little pop to the cheek wasn't too painful, but the message was clear - and if she'd been half shifted, Shara's head would have popped like a cherry.
Still, at least the other dragon had managed to deal with one of the hits, and the point had been made. Nayru didn't need to say anything about that, after the fight she might try reviewing it with the other girl though. For now, they were still fighting, or 'fighting,' and she was still probing Shara's defenses while waiting to see how her foe handled the fairly simplistic attacks and if or how she went on the offensive herself. In the meantime, Nayru still had a temporary advantage as long as she held to it, bajiquan always prioritizing staying inside the opponent's guard, so she followed Shara's movement with her right arm dropping low for a stronger short punch; relatively easy to see coming but moving much faster this time to see how Shara tried to react to it. Normally she would have pressed the attack further with a knee strike, but this time Nayru let it be, intentionally leaving an opening of sorts after Shara dealt with the strike to see what the other girl did.
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Post by Shara Tiinedra on Dec 27, 2016 1:40:52 GMT -6
Lesson learned indeed. Shara's true issue was that she did not yet have the chance to actively review her misstep. She simply knew what it was, and that in a real brawl, especially one as powerful as Nayru, such a mistake would cost her death. If Shara was good at anything, though, it was repressing immediate emotion. A double-edged sword, as she had recently begun to learn, but a useful skill for high-stress situations. The ability to keep a cool head and focus on the present and future, only utilizing the past for the knowledge obtained within it.
Already combat had begun to help her. Fluctuating pride was steadily forced to the wayside as her eyes fixed on Nayru's body. She watched for any hints of movement, any indication of what was to come before Nayru threw her next blows. Shara was on the defensive at the moment. While, for the moment, that was not necessarily a "bad thing", Shara did not wish to remain on the defensive. All of the styles Shara had been taught were focused on constantly possessing offensive pressure. Manipulating momentum through all stages of a battle, but not by guiding defensively, for it would be only a matter of time before her defenses were cracked.
Put the opponent in that position. Do not allow them to do the same to you.
Nayru's next strike came. Her entire stance lowered slightly, an indication of what sort of strike was to come. A lowered punch. Due to her proximity the punch would be short, but it could force the wind clear out of Shara if it landed. It also looked...familiar. Everything. Nayru's stance, positioning, and even the sort of punch she had thrown.
Shara's left hand caught her wrist mid strike, before Nayru's punch could connect. Instead of gripping she had used her hand to chop down hard in an attempt to not only knock Nayru's fist down, but to throw off her balance. In an effort to utilize this possible momentum shift, Shara drove her right hand forward towards Nayru's torso. The goal was to strike her center with an open palm, and keep her off-balance for a follow-up offensive.
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Post by Nayru Al-Saiduq on Dec 27, 2016 5:45:50 GMT -6
Nayru was pleased when he counterpart managed to react effectively to the strike this time - though not entirely surprised, and she would have been quite disappointed indeed if Shara hadn't reacted at all. That would point to essentially no real combat experience at all. She made an interesting decision though, choosing to try to knock the attack downward rather than arresting it, and not following through entirely with the motion; a parry would have involved redirecting it away from yourself, a block would have involved stopping it, but Shara had just ensured that she lost a leg or possibly took a hit directly to the lower stomach rather than upper. It would have been a weaker hit granted, but not a completely successful move.
However, the blonde dragon DID capitalize on the moment to launch an attack of her own, an open palm strike that Nayru wasn't quite as familiar with more directly offensive strikes strikes - of course she knew OF them, and krav maga made some use of them, but bajiquan rarely used palm strikes so it wasn't necessarily her expertise. Still, she recognized that it was either some special unknown instant kill technique she'd never heard of (unlikely) or more likely an attempt to either arrest her momentum or push her back entirely depending on exactly how hard it struck - either because Shara's style prioritized a certain minimum range, or simply because Shara needed a moment to breathe.
That was all the reason Nayru needed to already be moving, using the already downward motion of her arm and a quick pivot to spin one-eighty and step to Shara's left side, deflecting and avoiding the palm strike as her falling right arm's momentum was arrested with a jerk, her elbow in good position to almost immediately launch at an upwards angle towards Shara's ribcage just below the breast. In a real fight it would have been aimed to actually bruise or break the ribcage, but in reality the abrupt momentum shift had robbed it of some power, though Nayru's simple physical strength and fluidity still gave it a fair degree of piercing force - it wasn't necessarily the best move for a casual sparring match.
She knew better than to go for the boob though. Some things just weren't okay.
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Post by Shara Tiinedra on Dec 27, 2016 13:12:49 GMT -6
She wondered if it was this easy for humans? Their kind lacked the long memory that dragons were either blessed or cursed to have. But there was one universal truth that only so many people recognized when it came to battle: experience and training only meant so much. You could be a 2,000 year old dragon, who had either fought or trained every waking moment of his very long life, but the conscious memory would only take you so far in the heat of the moment. Once the adrenaline began to pump and flow, once blood was spilled, once bones cracked and flesh burned, even muscle memory began to falter.
Instinct mattered most, when the chips were down. Instinct could be tempered and controlled, reactions triggered by said instincts adjusted and honed through muscle memory. But every fight was different. Every fighter was different.
Shara could not help but wonder if their instincts were just as powerful. Even if they had but 20 years of combat compared to the potential millenia a dragon had. Could their instincts overcome the odds? It was an odd thing to wonder, in such an abrutply short span of time, but it was perhaps the last truly complex though to make it through the rush of adrenaline that had begun to pump through her entire being.
Nayru had deflected her palm-strike easily. Of course she had. The other fighter was far more skilled than she currently was, probably more skilled than she had ever been. Worse still was that Shara had once again failed to take the correct action. Her deflection had, again, been too much of an overreaction. Her instincts had not failed her, but her muscle memory. The fact that she still had the former, though, was what mattered most.
With focus. With calm breaths to feed and temper the fire that burned through her veins, she could re-train those instincts. Awaken old muscle memory, and implant new ones.
With that last thought, Shara's mind cleared.
Nayru had deflected Shara's strike and pivoted to her side, her elbow poised to drive into her ribs. Had the punch been thrown higher or farther, Shara would have no doubt been thrown off balance. Thankfully the blonde took a firm step with the deflection, her balance maintained. There was still the matter of the eventual elbow, though. While her footing was no longer ideal Shara still turned her body inward, to face Nayru, and caught the thrown elbow with both hands. Shara knew that the bronzed dragoness was holding back but good lord, the amount of force and power her strikes still carried was still mighty. However Shara moved her left leg in-between Nayru's legs, and hooked the back of her leg against the back of Nayru's right.
Shara then pushed Nayru's elbow up and backwards with her left hand as she pulled her right back and formed a fist. With a grunt she punched forward, fist aimed for Nayru's face. Ideally, if the blow connected, its force combined with the positioning of Shara's leg could be enough to topple the bronze dragoness.
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Post by Nayru Al-Saiduq on Dec 31, 2016 0:39:03 GMT -6
Hm, good, good. Shara was picking it up. Quick learner or just remembering past training, Nayru wasn't sure, but the end result was the same - what she had frankly expected to be incredibly boring and rote was actually becoming somewhat interesting. Shara didn't have the same control of her power as she did, but had a good tactical mind and respectable reflexes. Nayru wasn't much of a teacher, not that she'd ever had the opportunity to try much, so it was... nice that this wasn't quite as simplistic as she'd kinda feared it would be.
It did appear that the other dragon's combat style focused on getting her on the ground though, which was... frankly not Nayru's favorite position. She could deal with it very easily if she switched to krav maga, but she hesitated to do so... of all her failings, the fact that krav maga was so incredibly focused on lethality and control meant that it didn't really HAVE an off switch - she was either going to crack Shara open like a cherry or very possibly injure her at best if she countered with a proper takedown of her own. And while Nayru didn't want to LOSE... she didn't want to win at that cost, either.
That tiny moment of hesitation was all it took for Shara's gambit to bear fruit, Nayru ust a hair too slow to react to try to counter it. It wouldn't have been that hard. Move with it, forcibly regain footing, and swing into a takedown of her own, forcing the other girl into the ground facefirst with superior strength. But she had lost the initiative to take control of the situation entirely, and short of tapping into her draconic strength - a loss of its own, albeit one of pride - she couldn't actually regain her balance that easily, not with Shara's leg so intimately locked onto hers. Hmmm...
Ah, what the hell. Why not go for the gold?
An impish grin suddenly lit up Nayru's face as she accepted her already beginning backwards momentum, dodging the punch designed to knock her down by... knocking herself down. A bold move of questionable tactical intelligence, but not entirely unplanned, her leg still locked with Shara's as her free leg kicked Shara's other one out from under her, her free arm wrapping around the other warrior's side to pull Shara down with her. Mutual suicide baby! Of course there was the minor issue that she was in the middle of an earth and girl sandwich, but even if it was sorta cheating Nayru still reinforced the back of her body slightly to survive the fall without injury, though her front would definitely take the brunt of Shara's body.
Still, when you looked it it from an outside perspective... "Oh Shara," the trying-not-to-giggle idiot purred in a tone she definitely didn't use often, "I didn't know you felt this way about me!"
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Post by Shara Tiinedra on Jan 1, 2017 13:41:55 GMT -6
Shara had felt some small bit of pride scrape itself out from the devastation it had taken between her meeting with that shamaness and that very moment in her spar with Nayru. She had actually taken the bronze dragon down! Er...or so she thought. Shara didn't immediate realize that her fist had not connected with Nayru's face, and by the time she felt the kick to her back-most leg it was already too late. Nayru had taken the momentum that had been meant to put Shara in an advantageous position, and utilized it to pull the blonde down on top of her.
Shara had...not been prepared for that. Her instincts likely could have told her how to react if she had been pushed backwards, but not so much pulled forward. The style she had been utilized in the fight thus far had been designed to get in close, strike and take down, and then force a submission or break the enemy's body through certain holds. The one Shara had intended to go for required her to be on her feet, not chest to chest on her enemy. So, admittedly stunned at the spar's turn of events, she proceeded to fall forward as Nayru pulled her down with her.
But that wasn't all Nayru did. For...some reason, she managed to mumble out something ludicrous, given their current situation. Shara landed on Nayru chest first with an oomph, but her mentality had been effectively shattered for a few seconds longer than it already would have been. Her cheeks grew hot as she shot Nayru a glare. The expression unfortunately lacked the true rage Shara would have liked to convey in that moment, and instead she probably looked more the part of an embarassed younger sister who had just been pranked by her elder.
"R-Really? Is now the time for such a jest?!" In Nayru's defense Shara had made such comments and remarks when she had flirted with others before, and ordinarily it was easy to dismiss being on the receiving end of such a comment if she lacked interest or wanted to entice the suitor a bit more before she showed her hand. But given the...everything..of their current situation, especially their current position, with Shara sprawled atop Nayru, it was just a bit too much for her to handle. For all her usual discipline it seemed that her discipline as a fighter had definitely declined over the years.
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Post by Nayru Al-Saiduq on Jan 5, 2017 10:16:19 GMT -6
Hurk. Note to self, plan these things through better. Nayru couldn't help but wince a bit when Shara's hard bits hit hers with the benefit of gravity's descent, and getting hit in the softer bits, not that she had a lot of those, wasn't a whole lot more comfortable. But it wasn't world ending soul shattering pain, just discomfort, an unpleasant reminder that this had been a dumb as hell idea driven by a spur of the moment idea rather than reasoned rationality. Not that THAT was anything new, but she was supposed to be the wise one, wasn't she? Haha good joke.
If that had been all it was, the deviant dragon might have managed a shamefaced apology and agreement to never do it again. Instead, Shara made the lethal mistake of letting Nayru know she had actually gotten to her, and well, much like wiggling a bare ass before a shark or red before a bull, that only served to summon forth the half-pint little gobshite Nayru from the darkest corners of Hell itself, or at least her repressed memories. She was so CUTE when she was angry! Not, um, in a weird raging lesbian way, obviously, ha ha that would be weird. But much as Nayru had doubtless gone down on to Shara in memory as a bit of an idiot, Shara had left a strong impression as a composed and self-controlled woman on Nayru, seemingly impregnable and as strong of will as she was of wit. Seeing that mantle crack a little the previous day had been gratifying in its own way, the idea that she COULD have a positive effect even on her kin, but seeing Shara actually nonplussed and cutely angry was all the more appealing.
She couldn't help but chortle at the silliness of the whole situation, staring deeply into Shara's eyes before flopping back to rest her head on the ground itself without much concern for her hair. The panic of a moment before seemed so far away it was almost ludicrous, though no less real. "What, did you want it back in your room?"
Unfortunately for everyone involved, Nayru was the only person who didn't think that line through... at all.
"But hey, good catch there. You used my moment of hesitation very effectively; I lost the initiative to myself, and you left me with only the options of cheating - halfshifting - or switching my style, which would have been an even greater loss. So you do have some experience fighting, huh?"
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Post by Shara Tiinedra on Jan 6, 2017 10:42:05 GMT -6
“I...” If Shara was to be completely honest, her answer to Nayru's question would be “yes”. Provided they ah, weren't in the same position. But it was more that they had been sparring than it was the actual position. The whole shock and...gah, either way, she wasn't about to let Nayru know her answer to that. The explanation behind it was complicated even for her to fathom, she couldm't imagine actually voicing such an explanation.
Instead she shifted off of Nayru, harboring no desire to keep the other dragoness in such an uncomfortable position. Not to mention she was still a bit flustered from the whole ordeal as well, and could use a moment of zero-contact to gather her thoughts. Particularly on the fight that had just happened. It hadn't necessarily been a spar to declare a victor, that would be a farce either way, but Shara was still uncertain what to make of it.
“...Thank you.” She opened off with, shifting into a proper seated position, a few feet to Nayru's left. “I began to feel more comfortable towards the end there, when I made that move, but I was woefully sloppy at the beginning. Worse than I had thought. Had you been truly trying, your own power aside, you would have ended that spar off my first mistake.” Hay-maker style punches were meant to either be dodged or blocked. Somehow Shara managed to make the unique mistake of doing neither, and the admittedly soft blow the strike had left left Shara only able to imagine just how much Nayru had held back. Not just on that punch, but throughout the whole fight.
“If I'm honest, I've traveled all this time confident that the training I had received years ago would carry me through most danger, and that should it fail, I could simply shift and power my way through it.” There was some strange form of...clarity, to her tone. And her expression. Another sudden realization, but this was one, despite being negative, was almost pleasant. “Between our conversation yesterday, and this spar today, I can see just how deep my folly ran.”
There it was. She could think again. Thoughts were clear, even if not truly focused, and she did not feel that horrible mental blockage. Instead Shara felt...something else. There was a sense of gratitude, she was not so cold that she couldn't recognize that much, but the other emotion truly escaped her. It was akin to adrenaline, but near as she could tell it did not affect her heart beat whatsoever. Her body felt no different, and yet there was a sort of...charge to her mind. Perhaps she was simply refreshed.
“Oh and...yes, as I alluded earlier, I do have experience fighting. Better part of a century's worth of martial arts training back home. Very rarely had to apply it outside of spars, though.” Shara was grateful for that. Violence and combat was, to her, still rather abhorrent. For the most part a waste of energy and...even a waste of life. Yet combat, in the spirit of a physical activity, clearly had its merits on one's mind. As well as physical advantages and health benefits, of course.
A rather dull point to come to after her previous breakthroughs, but at least she was able to arrive to that conclusion. She really did have her mind back.
“Either way, near as I can tell, I do not have as much training as you do. And I certainly lack the actual combat experience. If I'm honest, I'm rather curious to see just what you are capable of.”
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Post by Nayru Al-Saiduq on Jan 7, 2017 18:35:18 GMT -6
"Training? I f**k**g WISH. Out here there's no one to teach you. I've had to figure out everything I know while fighting. Yesterday was my first experience training." It didn't occur to Nayru to brag, or even to self-efface, she was simply speaking the truth from her perspective. It was something that was curiously familiar in a way; despite her complex feelings towards dragons, she could see enough of herself in Shara that it allowed the notoriously cagey dragon to open up with uncharacteristic honesty in a way that she couldn't with Remus - despite knowing and in all honesty trusting Remus far more than the girl she'd only met yesterday and spent the last few minutes trying to punch in the face.
"Let me tell you a secret," Nayru continued, crossing her arms beneath her head as a makeshift pillow rather than continuing to lie entirely on the dusty earth. "Up until a few months ago, I was the same. Fought when I needed to and no more. Occasionally punched out some bandits, but nothing serious. I guess I didn't have the shifting option, but still, halfshifting was enough to deal with any average bandit." Yeah, because transforming meant she'd go berserk and kill anything nearby. It was technically an option, but the last of the last ditch of efforts, as options went. "Practiced martial arts, got pretty good at two of 'em, bajiquan and the other you almost got to see, but it was just a hobby. I didn't fight with much grace or purpose."
Turning her head a little towards Shara, the dragon considered her words somewhat more carefully, trying to express herself the way she felt she needed to rather than simply blurting it out. "It's kind of ironic, but it took a couple of humans to teach me there were... things worth fighting for... and that I couldn't just solve all my problems with brute force." Jeeze, she really did sound like a musclebrained idiot, didn't she? It was truly ironic. Across most of her life in Elibe, Nayru knew she had consistently been by far the smartest and most knowledgeable person in the room so to speak. But around other dragons, she ALWAYS felt like a complete idiot, no matter what, and in some ways it came to embody her as a result. She really did act dumber around others of her kind. Or the contrast was simply more evident. She didn't really know.
"That's what I meant yesterday. Finding something worth fighting for. My problem has never been lacking power... quite the opposite... but I think it's only in facing our failures, whether it be weakness or lack of control or blindness, that we can really grow. I'm not much of a teacher, but if I could help a little with that, I'm happy." And she truly was. Nayru had never been able to... train or teach anyone, at least not like that. She had spent so long being a fuckup, an idiot with far too much power and no control of it, that she had never really been in a position to do so. She hadn't done a very good job of being the wise sifu character to Shara, either, but at least she'd hopefully been somewhat useful.
"Though I'm going to have to politely decline that last request. Similar to something Kenshin said to me that I didn't quite make the connection at the time. Much as he only drew his sword to kill... the destruction that form brings is far too wide in scale to be used outside of the direst circumstances."
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Post by Shara Tiinedra on Jan 8, 2017 10:35:01 GMT -6
Shara listened intently, her gaze fixed on the bronzed dragoness as she regaled her with...quite the tale. There was a great deal to process and, if Shara was honest, she hadn't had expected such a response. Was it because she truly HAD been honest earlier? She gave some of herself to Nayru without so much as a second thought, and it had been returned to her in kind. Nay, twofold. It was...a rather unique experience for the woman. Not since him did she have an experience such as this.
“...You've had no training.” Shara began, her tone even. The envy she felt didn't even make it into her tone. She was...far too impressed to let such a petty emotion ruin such a simple yet impressive fact. Though it was there, rest assured, and it was as uncomfortable as ever. Shara had never once envied the raw power or combat prowess of another. She'd been fascinated before, but that was usually with humans. Never had she felt such envy to a fellow dragon, but at least she didn't feel as catty about it this time. More important than any of that was the simple fact that Nayru's power and skill came strictly from the battles she had fought. “And yet you've survived or won the fights that you have spoken of? That's...incredible.” The response had been so honest as well. There was no doubt Nayru spoke true, and Shara could only respect that.
Though apparently they were not so different. Nayru's experiences across Elibe had been somewhat similar to Shara's. Avoiding violence unless it was absolutely necessary, and that certainly didn't seem to include those monsters and Arum that she had told Shara about the day before. However there was something...odd about that. Nayru did not seem like a “violent person”, but she was a brawler. She had expressed clear enjoyment in the prospect of having a rematch against that one Arum in particular, as well as a desire to a...punch a giant spider. Was her love for fighting something new? A more recent development?
“Given how excited you were for some fights you mentioned yesterday, I confess it is a bit surprising to hear that you once avoided violence and only fought when absolutely necessary.” Shara couldn't help but share her own surprise, but she had been more...careful about how she worded it. It had come to her attention in recent times that she was not the best at wording things to not sound...offensive, intrusive, etc. While before she hadn't cared about that, Shara felt as thoughs he owed Nayru at least that much.
...Oh, and bajiquan! That was it! That was one of the styles her old tribe had taught. Shara had retained a few aspects of it, but it had never been one of the ones she had become dedicated to. A few of her tribesmen had, though, and that was why some of Nayru's movements had such a familiar vibe to them.
“As an aside, regarding bajiquan I've actually experienced it before. Never really picked it up, but it was taught back home.” Shara didn't have any clue about this second style that Nayru had mentioned. It was likely one only meant for serious combat if she hadn't used it at all. Earlier she had mentioned that switching her combat style was equivalent to a “greater loss”.
“Moving right along...” Nayru had spoke of quite a bit, and Shara was doing her best to get all of her thoughts out smoothly. As smoothly as she could manage, anyway.
Ah, she had...mentioned something there. That there were things worth fighting for, and a few people, humans at that, had taught her this. Likely a few of those friends she had mentioned the other day. Shara didn't quite understand, the very idea part of what had overwhelmed her yesterday, but it was something she had heard of before. Even the sorceress had mentioned that she fought for her home...and for a friend, but many people fought for such things. Shara had no...she...her feelings about her home were complex and as for friends she...
She...
“I don't know what I would ever fight for.” Shara stated, almost bluntly. She turned her gaze up towards the sky, only squinting slightly at the brightness. Thankfully the uh, sun was not directly over her eyes. “The things I've heard men and women fight for are things I...lack. In one way or another. That which drives them cannot be what drives me.” It was such an odd admission to make. It was one that had never once bothered Shara, as far as she knew, and something she had acknowledged the moment she had left Nabata. Even in Arcadia, a place that suited her perfectly, she hadn't made a large number of friends. And Nabata was often filled with memories of either frustration or isolation within books.
What could she fight for, even if she wanted to?
“As for yourself, Nayru, I respect your answer to my request. Though...forgive me. You've been good to me yesterday and today, but I am curious. You mentioned earlier that you didn't have the 'shifting option' up until a few months ago.” As much as it may have sounded as though Shara had begun to put some pieces together, and she had picked up on a common theme, she actually wasn't certain where she was going with this line of questioning. Because, if she trusted her intuition, it led to an answer she had never once heard of before. Not from any dragon that she had ever known.
“Did you lose your stone, or...?” It was reading between what Nayru had said, and that which she had not said, that led her to let the question hang. That the inquisitive, knowledge hungry dragoness did not outright attack the question, leave Nayru with the choice of admittance through denial or leaving, or proper admittance outright, was a testament to...something. Shara couldn't be sure what. The respect that had begun to grow?
Still, it went against her very nature to ignore something once presented to her. It was simply who she was. The strange talk of shifting, power, and control. It had to mean something.
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Post by Nayru Al-Saiduq on Jan 8, 2017 16:55:37 GMT -6
"When your options are die or improve, that's some pretty good incentive to grow." Nayru chuckled at how simultaneously idiotically simple and yet absolutely true her statement was. Obviously it was true on a literal level, and yet equally obviously it WASN'T actually that simple - if you just walked up to Kraft's army with a slingshot, you weren't going to magically... beat them because you tried really hard. It was more of a... concept, she supposed, that she had been speaking of. A mindset rather than strictly literal. It was the idea of pushing one's self beyond their limits for the sake of necessity. Of learning what had to be learned to accomplish what you wanted. Not simply expecting things to work out like you wanted them, but taking necessary action to enact them yourself. "I'm not really sure what made me start enjoying it. Maybe it's just that I learned so much about myself through these recent experiences. Maybe because everyone I know seems to need something punched on a regular basis so I got used to it."
Nayru still hadn't made the connection to philosophy to a degree, her blindness to self had not magically stopped existing because she had learned a couple new things, but the road was long and the journey arduous. It would take time to see her own hypocrisy and failure... and possibility. But at least Shara was giving her plenty to work with to avoid too much introspection, because thinking was the devil's workshop and always led to bad things. "Well, I can't tell you what to fight for, either. That's something only you can know, because it HAS to come from inside. All I can really say is this, Shara. And I'm not so good at it either, so it may be a bit hypocritical for me to say, but... it's only in building relationships with others, in opening myself up a bit, that I learned what I was all about. Or what I really wanted to do. Not just what I thought I wanted to do."
Oh yeah, Nayru the legendary Never Talks About Herself telling other people to open up. That was totally good advice. The blind leading the deaf, right? She took some solace in at least realizing her own hypocrisy, but it didn't make it feel a whole lot better. This whole day was just weird. Didn't quite feel like herself. Nayru knew full well that she wasn't... perfect at controlling her emotions, but even by her standards she was rather overloaded recently, her myriad feelings about Arcadia and Erim far too complex and clashing for her to work through easily. It made her tetchy and excited and worried and happy and angry all at once, for so many reasons she could hardly begin to list them all. Shara gave off a lot of mixed signals too, which didn't help, she could never tell if she was opening up too much or being manipulated or had actually found a potential friend or what. LORD but human scholars would have a laugh if they found out just what the emotionless, wise, and flawless dragons actually were - a bunch of idiot teenagers with emotional problems!
Though while she seemed to be ms. chatt cathy today, Shara's last question had a lot of... levels to it that Nayru wasn't entirely comfortable with. Not Shara's fault. She shouldn't have said anything to lead the other dragon on at all in that regard. But it didn't make it any less fair of a question... or easier to answer for that matter. Because while she was... trying to get better at opening up to people, some of those wounds were deep, far more than she could easily open up with, especially to someone she had just met. It had taken 350 years to even reach the realization that she had to discuss them with her f**k**g idol who knew everything, after all.
Slightly ironically though, it was that very fact that actually pushed Nayru not to push the question aside though. The realization that if she was going to try to explain EVERYTHING to Erim, things she had never said to anyone before, maybe it wouldn't hurt to practice a little bit the day before the test, huh? "...Control has always been my... weakness," she admitted tentatively, not quite sure where to go with it but stuck drifting down Dumbass Creek without a paddle anyways. "It's not that I COULDN'T transform, it was simply, uh, unwise." Still trying to struggle through her explanation, Nayru sat up, crossing her legs as she tried to think. She wouldn't... couldn't explain the full scale of the problem, not now, but to understate it so also seemed like a problem. As though she was belittling it. "Veigue risked his life to help me finally gain control of my power. Of course now the problem is it won't stop f**k**g growing, so I STILL can't transform, it's just now I can joke about it. Maybe I really should move to Vinland and become a hermit."
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Post by Shara Tiinedra on Jan 8, 2017 22:13:16 GMT -6
“I...suppose that is a good point. That doesn't make it any less impressive though, Nayru. That is approaching the level of a prodigy, outright.” Shara gave the easiest response first. Heh, if Shara thought the last exchange was a great deal to process, it was nothing compared to...this. It was odd. Less information had actually been imparted upon Shara this time, and yet she found herself stuck more on mulling over Nayru's words than before. Perhaps it was the...emotional weight behind them. It wasn't the same as reading a book, or simply hearing a speech or lecture. Rather it was something different entirely. The words resonated with her in a different way, beyond merely their content. “I suppose...even I could start to see some fun in combat if it became the norm. A better adaptation than simply being bothered by it, certainly.”
In Shara's defense, she had not been forced into a position where she had to adapt. Instead she ah, walked away from combat and never looked back. Not until today.
As for the whole “opening herself up” to people aspect, well, Shara was stumped. She felt as though she did know what that meant, and yet the longer she actually thought on the words, the less she understood them. Simply baring her past and desires to someone? Aside from hiding the details that would likely lead to dismissal or demise for one party or another, Shara considered herself rather forthcoming. Admittedly manipulative if she needed to be but...surprisingly honest when it came to herself. Her desires, she had thought, were simple...and yet they were never fulfilled.
Were they really her desires? The simply act of seeking out new information? Learning? Was that all she really wanted out of her life, which was likely to be longer than a human could even begin to comprehend. It already was, to most humans.
“I suppose I really well just have to experience a great deal of this for myself, hm? No easy way out of it.” Shara let out a small chuckle, as if she were facing defeat with good humor. Still, it was not as if she had given up. The old saying was that greater lessons were learned in defeat, not victory. And Shara preferred the prospect of further growth as opposed to already having the answers, as frustrating as it could be at times.
So she let her shoulders relax and reclined in a softer posture, her knees no longer drawn so close to her chest. “Though I do see your point. It wasn't until meeting you and...meeting another, that I began to question myself on such matters. Even if the answer regards me, I may not be able to bring it out on my own.”
...How...truly terrifying. Saying aloud was a bit different than actually thinking it. Shara didn't mind learning about others, or other things, from other people. Learning more about herself THROUGH other people though was a very different beast. The vast majority of Shara's life had been a steady process of isolating herself from others, unless she deemed them too interesting to pass up. But Shara had always justified that behaviour through the commonality of the average individual. What was the point of interacting with those who were so similar to others?
Yet not all was so clear. If Shara hadn't walked in on Nayru at just the right moment, she'd have thought her another Nabatan...likely a meat head at that one, and probably would have written her off as a strange human, yet not an entirely interesting one.
Was that what she found to be terrifying? Just how wrong she was? Or did...other people...frighten Shara more than she ever had dared to admit.
Suddenly she felt the urge to draw her knees back in tight again, but she opted to keep her legs stretched out, her back reclined as she faced Nayru. The blonde dragoness was also extremely grateful that Nayru had given a reply regarding her apparently unique situation. It served as a welcome distraction from the realization Shara had just come to.
“As for your...shifting problem.” Shara wanted to ease herself into the topic. It was clear even to her that it was an uncomfortable topic for Nayru, though probably because Shara could actually relate to it on some degree. If she lacked control over her true form she would also be frightened of it. Though for Nayru it was...clearly different. Her fear came from the harm she could cause to innocents. She mentioned her friend had risked his life to help her gain that control, but the issue was the power kept...growing?
That rapidly?
Shara had always assumed that the power of a dragon evolved naturally with age. This was likely true to some extent, but could combat continue to increase it at a rapid rate? Did it really make that great a difference?
“If you can control the form now, I can't exactly...ah, wait. Even if you can maintain control when you are fully shifted, the amount of raw power your form gives off is...it's constant, isn't it? Too dangerous to others, and draws too much attention to yourself.”
Shara had never seen a dragon of truly great power fully shift. There had been no need for such a thing to happen. It brought only risk to the tribe, and in Arcadia there was still never a need.
“It's hard for me to imagine. My shifted form is...well I'd like to think it is powerful, though evidently I'm mistaken.” There was another small chuckle, but no bite to the words. “Though I'm sure you know running off to become a hermit doesn't actually solve the prob...lem...”
Sometimes irony could hit a little too hard. Shara blinked and shook her head lightly. She made the conscious effort to push the possibility that she had been running away from her problems as well. That was not another issue she needed to tackle at that moment. Nope.
“I wish I could offer some solution, though if it were that simple I suppose you would have found one some time ago.” All Shara could really do was offer a weak smile. She wasn't sure how far to dig, though she was admittedly curious. “The only thing I could think of would be to speak with an experienced dragon. Those who may have survived the Scouring, and thus have had all the time and experience with their bodies to have a deeper understanding of them. Or perhaps your case is unique...”
She cut herself off. If Shara had allowed herself to continue, she'd wind up musing the possibilities for an indefinite length of time.
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Post by Nayru Al-Saiduq on Jan 9, 2017 0:58:26 GMT -6
"Well, you're smarter than me and already have a handle on your emotions, so it might not be THAT hard." Nayru shrugged with a half smile, not a great deal of movement because she was sitting but something. "I've probably blathered on about it enough, if I had an actual answer I'd tell you. But even then, that'd defeat the purpose of figuring it out yourself, so..." Man, they seriously were NOT getting anywhere with this, it wasn't so much that Nayru didn't want to help as that she'd already exhausted her limited stock of vaguely intelligent sounding advice and was left with little more than the dredge of the mind, feel-good bullshit and veigue, er, vague statements.
At the same time though. She could at least take some limited degree of happiness, even pride, in knowing that she had been SOMEWHAT useful to Shara. Not necessarily Erim territory, but it still felt like she'd been able to pay it back a little bit. It felt good. Like she'd done something right. Just, uh, as long as Shara didn't decide she wanted to turn into a world destroying hatebeast and purge all life from Elibe. That would be bad. And probably her fault. Interestingly enough, Nayru discovered, she wasn't quite sure which part of that bothered her more, or what that said about her.
"Yyyyyyyyeah," she said, her voice half hesitant and half laughing and half serious, a curious and mathematically questionable combination that spoke of her mixed feelings on the subject. Or not. Who knew? Honestly not sure if she was veering into TMI territory or giving Shara a better understanding of what she was dealing with, Nayru continued, rubbing the back of her head with her right hand as she tended to when nervous or uncertain. "Last time I transformed I covered half of southern Bern in a thunderstorm." And kinda sorta broke the sky, possibly dragged in a bit of the Nether, and still almost got f**k**g destroyed against the chimera. If it wasn't for Veigue they wouldn't be sitting here talking now. ...Man, that chimera was seriously something else, in retrospect. It hadn't quite clicked for Nayru at the time, she had been too focused on just trying to survive, but the benefit of hindsight certainly raised questions of its own. Between the chimera and the Arum guardian, however they were actually connected, they were on a completely different level than anything she had ever experienced. Beings that could actually threaten her. It was an experience as new and foreign to her as it was in equal parts troubling and exhilarating.
Though Shara's solution was... ha ha. Nayru honestly had to try not to laugh. "...Takes you thirty seconds to figure out what took me two hundred years to admit to myself. Yeah, you'll be fine on your own." She couldn't hold a tiny tinge of... bitterness, or envy, or jealousy, or SOMETHING out of her tone, Nayru wasn't the best at always identifying emotions, she just knew it was something ugly and hot that burned in her breast, tightening in a way that made it just a little bit harder to breath. It truly was that stupid, that idiotic, that there was no excuse. Not even her relationship with Erim, or her fear, could truly explain how... long it had taken her.
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Post by Shara Tiinedra on Jan 9, 2017 14:27:47 GMT -6
“That much I'm not so sure of.” Not that Shara intended downplay her own intelligence, but rather she found it a bit difficult to downplay Nayru's. After all Nayru was the one who brought these issues to light, intentionally or otherwise. If Shara was so smart, and had such a firm handle on her emotions, then surely she could have figured it out on her own. Still, she couldn't help but chuckle a bit. “Though yes, it's clear that the answers I seek will take time to figure out, and I'll have to search for them on my own. I'm not even entirely certain they can be forced.”
It was still a cocktail of emotions when it came to these issues. Frustration, a bit of fear, but also excitement and joy. Strange, Shara wasn't sure anything had ever filled her with so much emotion at once. Frustration still reigned supreme but that would only make her answers that much more enlightening. Alternatively, she could also wind up finding some horrifying answers that leave her feeling grim rather than unfulfilled.
Worst yet was that only time could tell.
As for Nayru, well, it turned out that she was ridiculously powerful. Her last full shift caused a thunderstorm in Bern? Shara had never been to Bern, frankly, and hadn't heard any news of such an event but...well...that was remarkably impressive. Though it was not some feat that Nayru took pride in, clearly, as opposed to something she was at fault for that caused her guilt and fear. Shara...didn't know how she would feel in her position. She couldn't begin to imagine it. Would she feel guilty and afraid? Frustrated, for sure, but evidently that was nothing new.
“That's...I can certainly see why your situation disturbs you, then. That's a power that only the elders in my tribe would be able to possess, or so I was taught. To affect the environment around them merely by shifting. I didn't think it could affect the world on such a large scale, though. Cover such a wide radius.” Shara mused, but took care not to go on forever. Again, this was not some feat Nayru was proud of, and was likely part of the reason if not the entire answer itself as to why she refused to fully shift for Shara. As much as Shara was fascinated she...didn't want to offend, or drive Nayru away.
Though apparently Shara's solution, the 'speak to those with experience' was essentially the conclusion Nayru had come to. Yet...it had taken her two centuries to arrive to that same conclusion? No, there's no way that could be right. Nayru was very clearly not stupid. She likely came across the decision at some point. There HAD to be something there, Shara refused to believe otherwise.
...Yet...did she pressure any farther?
“...It seems we both have answers that we need to search out, then.” Shara simply propped herself up with her hands, to sit up straight, as she shot Nayru a ghost of a smile. “Perhaps I'll head to Bern myself. It's the only part of mainland Elibe I have yet to visit. Makes it an solid starting point, if I do say so myself.”
“Do you have any idea where you will be going? I think you may have mentioned your destination off-hand yesterday, but it escapes me.” Shara had a guess, but she wanted to hear the answer from Nayru.
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Post by Nayru Al-Saiduq on Jan 10, 2017 23:50:21 GMT -6
The sad-funny thing about all this was that if it had been anything else, Nayru realized, she would have been lapping up the praise, or at least favorable words, like a drowning man in a puddle of pudding. After all, who didn't want to be strong and wise and famous? Her, that was f**k**g who. The worst part of it all was that these days Nayru wasn't even sure if she hated it or not, it had been easier when it was just a downside, an albatross around her neck. Now she had a glimpse into what it was to actually be a functioning member of Elibe, not just an observer gliding through life. And she kinda liked it. She didn't want to lose Veigue and Remus, or Lynessa and Locke and Aeos and Shara for that matter, or even that weird fish guy who liked fighting... or Lafiel, but honestly she'd want to at least take one or two swings at that smug stupid face first.
So it was a... complex set of emotions in response to Shara's commentary, to say the least. Not Shara's fault. But her own. A common refrain, heh. Of course it was hard to judge the exact power levels of everyone in Arcadia, but mixing her memories together with the newfound perspective she possessed... as blasphemous as it sounded, Nayru was starting to realize that she wasn't just a dumbass kid anymore when it came to fighting ability at least. Erim was the only dragon she knew who was definitely stronger than her, who oozed with eldritch might even despite the phenomenal control Nayru knew full well her mentor had. That was what terrified and enticed her the most in equal parts, why she was here in the first place. To hope that the other woman could share her knowledge.
"Bern's interesting," she settled for saying, taking the easier (and more polite) path rather than stewing in her own baggage forever. "In the wake of the Rebellion and Hargus's rampage, it's a country in constant flux, and a people shaped by tragedy. Just be careful. They've had more dragon sightings than the rest of Elibe combined in the last few years, and all of them were disastrous." Aerious's... actions and Marcus's misunderstanding(?) at the arena had both left wounds that would take time to heal, and she wasn't 100% sure that no one had seen her transform, either, she'd gotten the hell out of there ASAP. "As for me... I'm headed to Arcadia. I only know one woman who might be able to help me." Nayru grinned lopsidedly, a look that threatened to drip off her face and puddle on the ground beneath her. "I'd hoped to never see that damn sandstorm again, though. Never could stand the thing."
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