Henrik Zwatre
Novice
[M:0]
Do what you want, just don' t put me in the front.
Posts: 7
|
Henrik
Dec 23, 2011 13:10:05 GMT -6
Post by Henrik Zwatre on Dec 23, 2011 13:10:05 GMT -6
Name: Henrik Class*:Novice Hair Color:Dirty Blond Eye Color: Red Age: 18
Appearance:Slim, a bit too young for his age
Clothes: Tight red tunic, Bright green cape, Brown Breeches
Born in**: Nabata
Story***: As Henrik and the people of Nabata have had years to adapt to the harsh heat, when he moved because his father didn't accept him as a warrior, to the snowy land Ilia to train as a warrior so he could gain his father's trust, he struggled to live in the deep chills. He once even had a small iciclehanging on his cape. No joke!
As Henrik trained to become a fine warrior, he realized that his skills at the weapon itself was not as good as he was on his feet. He could barely lift a hatchet! As Henrik traveled around Elibe to find his skill, he was led back to Ilia, but not to another warrior training class, to a secret hideout, as to where he was to train as a thief with pickpockets who were also not as best with the weapon. As Henrik mastered this skill, His bond with this fiendish group distracted him from knowing what is right and wrong.
As he soon later figured out that this gang was full of doofnuts who didn't know the difference between a sword and a pickle, he left them in a flash, never to return again. He now is alone, in a small cottage in southern Ilia, living a quiet life. He has no idea what is about to be ahead of him...
|
|
|
Henrik
Dec 23, 2011 14:02:20 GMT -6
Post by Clair Feldsky on Dec 23, 2011 14:02:20 GMT -6
Gonna need more. We like to know why a character did what they did, in addition to what they do.
Some of the reasons leading up to why he left Nabata to become a mercenary would help. Perhaps reactions of others. Also, how is he training? Alone? Did he join up with someone? Etc. More relevant details are what make a character more interesting. Specificly, how those details affect him, and change with him as time goes on.
Oh right. Novices and other trainees are really bad at fighting, so take that into account if you want to start as a trainee class. (One of these days I'm going to stop giving that warning, and just expect people to read the whole class section on their own. <_<)
|
|
Henrik Zwatre
Novice
[M:0]
Do what you want, just don' t put me in the front.
Posts: 7
|
Henrik
Dec 23, 2011 19:26:05 GMT -6
Post by Henrik Zwatre on Dec 23, 2011 19:26:05 GMT -6
Good idea:)
|
|
Henrik Zwatre
Novice
[M:0]
Do what you want, just don' t put me in the front.
Posts: 7
|
Henrik
Dec 23, 2011 19:36:14 GMT -6
Post by Henrik Zwatre on Dec 23, 2011 19:36:14 GMT -6
any better?
|
|
Hoff
Thief
[M:0]
You can get much farther with a kind word and a sword than you can with a kind word alone.
Posts: 79
|
Henrik
Dec 23, 2011 22:08:58 GMT -6
Post by Hoff on Dec 23, 2011 22:08:58 GMT -6
Just out of curiosity, why are his eyes red? Id freak out if I saw him
|
|
Henrik Zwatre
Novice
[M:0]
Do what you want, just don' t put me in the front.
Posts: 7
|
Henrik
Dec 24, 2011 7:51:41 GMT -6
Post by Henrik Zwatre on Dec 24, 2011 7:51:41 GMT -6
2 reasons:
1: If you look at the random facts Henrik has had a bad experience with guards... ^^ <BAM>
2: I was also having difficulty recoloring them :3
|
|
|
Henrik
Dec 24, 2011 11:00:03 GMT -6
Post by Clair Feldsky on Dec 24, 2011 11:00:03 GMT -6
Much much better. Lol
Holy Run-on sentence! There are some grammar issues, but those should improve over time.
Approved.
|
|
Henrik Zwatre
Novice
[M:0]
Do what you want, just don' t put me in the front.
Posts: 7
|
Henrik
Dec 24, 2011 11:13:54 GMT -6
Post by Henrik Zwatre on Dec 24, 2011 11:13:54 GMT -6
Run on sentence indeed :3 oops.
|
|
|
Henrik
Dec 24, 2011 17:48:44 GMT -6
Post by Nayru Al-Saiduq on Dec 24, 2011 17:48:44 GMT -6
bro run-on sentences are where it's AT
you haven't lived until you've made an entire paragraph out of a single sentence
|
|
Henrik Zwatre
Novice
[M:0]
Do what you want, just don' t put me in the front.
Posts: 7
|
Henrik
Dec 24, 2011 17:56:25 GMT -6
Post by Henrik Zwatre on Dec 24, 2011 17:56:25 GMT -6
haha so funny nayru that was funny because i did a run on and you said it was not long enough hahah.
Like that?
|
|
Hal
Soldier
Wings of Courage
I've got 99 problems and Elesia caused every one.
Posts: 215
Bern Fame: 1
Lycia Fame: 1
Affinity: Light
Profile: Hal Kailas
OoC Alias: Kenshin
|
Henrik
Dec 24, 2011 20:41:51 GMT -6
Post by Hal on Dec 24, 2011 20:41:51 GMT -6
Somebody is trying so hard it hurts to watch.
|
|
|
Henrik
Dec 24, 2011 20:56:20 GMT -6
Post by Nayru Al-Saiduq on Dec 24, 2011 20:56:20 GMT -6
man I don't even know what's going on anymore
|
|
Henrik Zwatre
Novice
[M:0]
Do what you want, just don' t put me in the front.
Posts: 7
|
Henrik
Dec 24, 2011 21:03:29 GMT -6
Post by Henrik Zwatre on Dec 24, 2011 21:03:29 GMT -6
OK. I'll just stop talking.
..... .... ....
.....
.....
|
|
|
Henrik
Dec 24, 2011 22:25:37 GMT -6
Post by Clair Feldsky on Dec 24, 2011 22:25:37 GMT -6
Lol
|
|
Love
Shaman
[M:0]
Posts: 37
|
Henrik
Dec 24, 2011 22:46:57 GMT -6
Post by Love on Dec 24, 2011 22:46:57 GMT -6
bro run-on sentences are where it's AT you haven't lived until you've made an entire paragraph out of a single sentence >.> Anyways, I really like this character and I think red eyes are cool
|
|