Post by Richter Abend on Aug 27, 2015 16:40:22 GMT -6
Let me get this straight:
a. Erick wins a bunch of tournaments and becomes the best swordsman ever 1. Before the age of 17, Erick kills the family of Leader of the Killing Shadows b. Erick wins a bunch of tournaments and becomes the best swordsman ever 2. The Leader of the Killing Shadows kills Agnes's father and captures her brother 3. Agnes is forced to fall in love with Erick, marry him, and have his children ----- Years & Years pass ----- 4. The City of Heroes is created 5. Erick's family moves to the City of Heroes 6. The Leader of the Killing Shadows decides he wants to burn down the City of Heroes and start a war, but Erick moved there, so he hatches a plan to kill Erick, only he already hatched a plan to kill Erick years ago, so that he can burn down the city while ignoring every other strong fighter that lives in the City of Heroes 7. The Killing Shadows kill Erick's family, but not Kenta because they are sadists and want to see him kill himself 8. The Kenta trains with Erick 9. Erick finally dies to Agnes, who poisoned him 10. Kenta leaves the city and joins the army
So that leaves the question whether a. happened, or b. happened.
Post by Richter Abend on Aug 28, 2015 15:24:12 GMT -6
Well there's a number of issues with the profile as I now have come to understand it.
1. None of this incredibly important background information is in the profile. I had to learn almost 75% of the story from you after the fact, and for this character to be accepted in any way, ALL pertinent information must be in the original application in a coherent fashion. And I still need to know why Erick killed some dude's family, if he's just a skilled tournament fighter.
2. The plot against Erick, and thus the character himself, doesn't make sense. I understand he is not the character being applied as, but his story is integral to the character of Kenta. Supposedly this kid, at the age of 16-17, is such an impossibly powerful fighter that an organization of assassins is too scared to assassinate him. In fact he's so powerful that, instead of hatching a plan to kill him relatively quickly with coordination and skill expected of an assassin guild, the Killing Shadows decide that the best course of action is to exectue a +35 year long Xanatos gambit that hinges on a number of improbabilities:
-Erick happens to fall in love with Agnes because the Killing Shadows desire it. -Agnes happens to be skilled enough at deception and seduction to fool Erick long enough for them to have grandchildren, without ever hinting at her brother or the fact that she is going to kill him. -Agnes raises a family with Erick and decides that her brother, who has been held in captivity by the Killing Shadows for over 35 years, is more important to her than her flesh and blood children & grandchildren that she has with Erick to the point where she will just let them die so that Erick will eventually taste death.
That is, for lack of a better word, silly.
3. Given the notoriety & quality of the heroes that live in the City of Heroes, the Killing Shadows focusing entirely on killing Erick in order to burn down the city makes no sense. Even if the plan was made in a vaccuum and Erick just happened to move there over the course of 20 years, this is a city that has withstood the assault of Hargus the Bandit King, one of the most powerful necromancers Elibe has ever known, and his undead army. In that context, a notorious tournament fighter like Erick is just another soldier.
4. So apparently the Killing Shadows wanted Kenta to kill himse,f but when he didn't kill himself, why didn't they just kill him?
Denying this both the grounds that it is highly improbable, in addition to the fact that it doesn't fit into the site's lore. I suggest you do some more research, write up a complete profile, and resubmit.