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Post by Nayru Al-Saiduq on Oct 26, 2015 10:56:37 GMT -6
Nayru waved lazily at one of the villagers as she passed him on the way to her target, the other hand occupied by the precious burden it carried, and was vaguely amused when he waved back happily. It fel... good to be appreciated. It wasn't her first rodeo by any means, but in all honesty she usually didn't stick around long enough afterwards to experience much of it, and it was only very recently in her lifespan that this had even started happening. 500 years of life and maybe a month or two of experience, tops, with all of this? It still felt as new and alien to her as the first day might for a mortal.
"Yooooo." Announcing her arrival to the warehouse-cum-hospital with a cheery shout, the Nabatan woman swept her eyes across the debris, both material and human alike. It didn't feel nearly as dire as it had earlier, which spoke more of Remus's tireless work than any sort of natural recovery on these people's part; without her priestly friend's work, this scenery would likely be a lot more dire, and the atmosphere entirely inappropriate for her optimism. But it was not, and so aside from being a little muted - just because they weren't dying anymore didn't mean people were happy about the forced bedrest - the tone was overall positive. Maybe even a little excited, or proud might be a better word for it. They had survived, fought back, and with the help of outsiders, even won. For people who were neither warriors nor wizards, that was itself a great accomplishment.
But while she was happy for them, Nayru didn't bother trying to empathize with them too much. Not out of dislike or disgust, but simply because her heart couldn't really understand what her mind did. Knowing intellectually how they felt to some degree didn't mean she agreed, and while she has happy o have helped... well, the brutally honest answer was that she didn't really want to bond with more people than necessary. It sounded a bit harsh, but the simple fact of her existence did leave her, ultimately, as an outsider looking in.
But this was not the time for fear that came later or sadness. Now was the time for celebration! Celebration and revelry... or at least a couple mugs of hot cocoa and dragging Remus away from his work, bodily if necessary, before he killed himself from overexertion. "Oh Remus~," she continued, her voice as silky smooth as it was threatening if he didn't respond posthaste, "I know you're in here, and I will tear this place apart to find you."
The makeshift 'nurse' nearby looked up somewhat worried. Nayru shrugged, mumbled "what?" and the woman just looked away half-smiling. Unperturbed, the dragon continued, louder again, though she kept her voice low enough to not disturb the people here too much. "And I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll-"
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Post by Remus on Oct 26, 2015 13:53:07 GMT -6
Honestly, even with all his talent at healing that he'd developed; Remus still had limits. Even Elias, for all his magical talent at the City of heroes, had limits. He hadn't lasted so much longer that he could pull a double shift of healing. It was noticeable though. Compared to when he started his journey...where healing one slash wound had taken him several moments and the fatigue of that alone almost killed him. Then now, as he was, he was able to heal for hours with small breathers littered through out while mending others simultaneously. For once, he felt like he had imagined his sister would have. For all her vast potential, she was likely less adept than he was now at staves. Eh..probably not. A guy could dream though. A guy could ream.
After healing the most recent person though, the woman helping Remus knelt lower so the man could slip his arm around her shoulder and she helped him out of the small little tattered shambling structure he'd turn into a care center. In return, Remus took this moment to lean against the wall and catch his breath. Breathing hard, he shook his head and panted, enjoying the peace and what not but wishing he could make that heavy feeling in his limbs go away more than anything. His staff felt like an iron bar more than wood at the current.
Until the silence was shattered by a well known sing-song tuned voice, the priest had been on the precipice of falling asleep where he stood. That tone though. It was like a shot of adrenaline. It woke him up. Caught his attention. The priest half yelped in surprise even as she spoke despite the softness of her voice. He spoke up as he walked out from behind the small shelter of wooden crates he'd made to provide privacy for the wounded people he was healing.
"Gah! Ah..Yes. I'm over here Nayru."
The male sheepishly rubbed the back of his head with his staff-free hand as he looked to her with a half-smile. His robes were dusty, dirty, and along with the stains where his knees were at the robe, small crimson stains from others blood lined his wrists, palms, and sleeves. Often from compressing injuries to heal easier or what not. As he smiled to her, he felt a sudden pool of questions begin to stir. No. Not yet. Soon. He couldn't just berate her with questions though. It was rude. Yes. The super powered human woman that spits lightning and seems like an older Amelia is concerned for Rude. Instead, he'd focus on another thing he'd noticed. A happier tone that could perhaps transition easily into things. "Er..I hear your voice is sounding much better! Feeling better after er..the whole..shooting lightning thing?" Yeah..no. He wasn't holding off those questions that overwhelmed him mentally for long.
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Post by Nayru Al-Saiduq on Oct 26, 2015 14:19:01 GMT -6
"Awwww." Nayru made a moue, looking for all the world like she had been hoping he hadn't responded at all. "And I was so looking forwards to a little smash and grab..."
The nurse looked at her again, reproachful, and the dragon met her gaze with false confusion. "What?" Another sigh and the human girl raised her hands as if to wash her hands of this whole stupid affair, turning and leaving to parts unknown. For her part, Nayru continued her feigned innocence. "Jeeze, try to lighten the mood a bit and people act like you kicked a puppy. I took care of that before I came in here, thank you very-" And then her free hand was on Remus's shoulder, gentle(ish) but unyielding. "MUCH. Now shut up and take the mug so I don't have to force feed you like a mama bird. It would be very weird. For both of us." It was nearly thrust into his hands before she retracted the remaining mug into her own grip safely.
While Nayru herself was ironically pretty clueless, since the events of Sacae she had partially reverted to her original levels of touchy-feelyness, certainly much more so than the Nayru who had first met Elly. The woman in question was more worried about forcing Remus to take a damn break though and continued on blissfully unaware. She guided him towards the door in no uncertain way. "And yes, I'm feeling better. A little manual labor solves everything, and Sky knows these people needed enough rubble moved that if manual labor was healing, I could have revived the dead."
That... had made more sense in her head. Maybe not her best simile ever. "You know, magic is supposed to be all about mind and body and all that spiritual BS. I'm just thinking I need a better catchphrase. Like, 'shock and awe,' or 'bringing down the thunder' or something about thunderous applause, yea? And maybe a theme song. I just need to find a marching band to follow me around everywhere I go..." She was babbling a bit, but it was less mindless foolishness as trying to avoid actually answering Remus's question. Oh, she knew that at some point it was inevitable, she had pushed herself way too hard in full sight today even if he hadn't seen the transformed arm in the instant it existed, but Nayru was not the greatest at talking about herself. Ironic perhaps for a self-proclaimed storyteller, but she rarely featured herself in any of her stories.
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Post by Remus on Oct 26, 2015 14:46:48 GMT -6
Smash and grab indeed. He could only imagine what it would be like if Nayru actually wanted to smash and grab him. Not that he'd ever find himself in that situation hopefully. Though as Nayru effectively scared the nurse Remus felt a sneaking suspicion that it'd be for the best as far as if he was going to rest at all ever. Honestly, despite his desire to get some actual shut eye at some point soon, he knew that there was a few things he'd have to ask first. That didn't stop him from smiling warmly as Nayru thrust the mug into his hands. His palms clasped to either side of the warm cup while he chuckled a bit, quietly accepting the present before he took a moment to walk a few steps over and lightly sit at the edge of the sturdy wooden crate. The smell trailing upwards combined with the soothing warmth emitting from the cup and the temptation hot coco brought him was quite dangerous. The blue haired priest smiled down into the mug, waiting before drinking to allow it a few more moments to get cooler.
He looked up to Nayru with a nod. He was glad she was feeling better. She had looked exhausted, and he remembered still how shockingly bad her voice sounded prior. "Well I'm certainly glad Nayru. Admittedly, knowing I couldn't fully heal your injuries had me very worried. I dislike not being able to fully heal someone. It gives me a bad taste. A lingering sense that I've only half-completed my job. Let alone the blow to my meager pride. "
There was no really good way to word it sooo..it was best to just gun right for the issue and take a stab into the dark. Worst case scenario, he'd be able to at-least enjoy some hot chocolate before she had to kill him for divulging horrible dark secrets. "So er..Nayru. I um..noticed that when you shot lightning at them you ah..didn't use a tome. You didn't seem to weave magic from spirits or anything Like I've seen and frankly it just... felt different. You shot it from your mouth. That...and you used it with your weapons. So um..I wanted to ask."
He squared himself as best he could on the wooden box. Honestly, he had to be the opposite of intimidating. A nineteen year old priest that was raid and exhausted from healing for hours on end, with almost no sleep, leaning half forward and clasping a mug of hot-coco. This would entirely belittle the serious gaze he held as he questioned her. "Your a lightning spirit aren't you? I mean..you didn't have to summon energy from outside forces with a spell you just... did it. I won't tell anyone..trust me."
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Post by Nayru Al-Saiduq on Oct 26, 2015 15:24:42 GMT -6
Yyyyyyyup she wasn't going to talk her way out of this one.
Nayru deflated a little as she heard Remus out, not really sure what to do in her newfound position. Human and dragon physiology and use of magic differed enough that even if she tried to stick solely to the technical explanation, very little of it would make sense to Remus; she didn't think humans had a similar understanding of the magic circuits in a dragon's body any more than a dragon could inherently understand how human mages cast on more than an intellectual level. They were completely different in every way; she COULDN'T use magic in the world around her any more than the average human mage could just randomly create a bunch of lightning without manipulating a thunder spirit.
And she was a really bad liar.
"The... the remaining damage is magical," the dragon hesitantly admitted, still trying to see a way out of this. "My circuits-" She broke off for a moment, trying to think of another way to word it, less out of secrecy than simply putting it in words that Remus would understand. "Think of it as trying to pour an ocean through a riverbed. You healed the physical damage from the power surge, for which I'm grateful, but the strain on my - it takes time to recalibrate." Not really the greatest and most technical explanation ever, but Nayru didn't think that talking about magic circuits and power flow would really make a lot of sense even if he knew she was a dragon. Maybe a metaphor about nerves...? Eh. Close enough.
She really didn't know where he had gotten the lightning spirit thing from though.
"Not... exactly," she admitted, once again feeling a bit hesitant to answer the question straight up. Nayru definitely hadn't expected Remus to go for the jugular like that. He was usually so reserved and cautious and worried about offending or bothering others that she had hoped he'd let the subject go if she made it awkward enough, but this new Remus was like a beast on the hunt. Or, well, a kitten trying to eat a shoe. It was hard to see him as anything more threatening considering how young he looked, and was. But it was something she had to deal with. Even if she wasn't entirely willing to spill the beans. "It's an interesting theory though."
Admitting defeat to some degree rather than running away like she sorta wanted to, Nayru sat heavily on another box, the makeshift seat as hard as it was uncomfortable but at this point she had slept on enough roofs and dealt with enough discomfort that it was more of a casual observation, akin to water being wet or Elly being destruction incarnate, than it was any sort of real complaint. Dammit. That warm mug felt so good. She looked down to her own hot cocoa, pondering an actual response since it was somewhere beyond extremely unlikely and entirely impossible that Remus would accept that as an answer. "I don't suppose you'd take 'magic weapon' for an answer?"
In retrospect, that explanation might have worked better if she had actually been using her weapons for jack throughout the fight aside from the start.
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Post by Remus on Oct 26, 2015 16:38:18 GMT -6
Ah. Magical damage. It had to be different than damage dealt by a magical wound. Perhaps it was just a difference in power? He couldn't really imagine its complexities without actually seeing it himself in person. Er..an example more indepth at-least. A cause, a source. That all would have helped. In this instance, Remus greatly disliked the idea of wounds he couldn't heal. The priest clasped at the hot-coco mug a bit tighter while gazing into the ripples of chocolaty goodness before mumbling quietly to himself; though no doubt loud enough that Nayru could hear. "I don't like wounds I can't heal...the entire idea..just..annoys me." Albeit a bit of a broken record, the priest felt frustration set in that briefly distracted him from Nayru's initial attempt to parry the question. Healing was something he was really good at. Not to toot his own horn, but he liked to think he was really good at it even. So for their to be a wound, that he couldn't heal entirely? Not even just "I healed a bit so thats okay," But entire wounds scoped on another spectrum of injury beyond his caliber to heal? It was just...absurd. Frustrating, and absurd. Yet there it was. He hadn't healed all of it.
Though her mention of magic weapons drew his attention back to the present. The priest slowly adjusted himself, carefully doing so not to spill hot chocolate even as he moved himself fully onto the box. The blue haired boy looked at her still even as he slowly lifted the mug to his lips and took a small swig; mug blocking half his face as he quietly looked to her. He shook his head a bit and chuckled while he responded, perhaps a bit of fondness in his tone; his opinion of her augmenting his response. "That implies one of two things. Either your mentioning your er..Kama I believe you called them, are magic weapons. Since They don't get all er..lightning-y every time you use them I imagine that's not the case. The other would be that your a magic weapon yourself and wellll...since your not a mindless killing machine, I don't believe that. I don't think a "weapon" would also be a nice and pleasant individual. "
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Post by Nayru Al-Saiduq on Oct 26, 2015 17:08:38 GMT -6
She felt a little bad for setting Remus up for frustration. If she'd thought of it in time, or if she was a better liar at least, Nayru reflected, she should have - would have - claimed to be fully healed if only to assuage his discomfort. But it was all a moot point. She was a crappy liar, and with the amount of pain she had been in at the time, there was no way she could have effectively pretended to be fine. It was a simple fact of existence that he knew some degree of the truth there, with little she could do now but assure him she would be fine, that she was healing.
He was pretty good at explaining his arguments, though. Even if they weren't right, it was an admirable job given his knowledge of the mechanics of how things worked. Magic weapons could be used without blatantly exuding magic after all, so if she was a good enough liar she probably could have tried to sell it. But she'd already torpedoed that plan with her last comment, and again her poor lying abilities hampered her regardless.
And she wanted to tell the truth.
No, that wasn't quite it. She wanted to be accepted. It was stupid and petty and suicidal, Nayru was self-aware to know that and hate that part of herself even as she acknowledged its existence, but to deny it would do nothing to stop it. She was tired of running, tired of being a monster, tired of being too scared to trust people and too self-flagellating to simply live. That didn't mean she could just tell the truth, and it didn't mean that telling the truth would necessarily give her any of that, but it was the explanation to her irrational desire.
Admitting the setback in her position nonverbally, Nayru leaned back against the wall, accepting that she wasn't going to get out of this that easily. She didn't touch her drink though, contemplating Remus's words again for a moment in time. A weapon. How... ironic. She wanted to laugh, to cry, to scream out in blind defiance against fate. In the end, it always came back to that - that in the end she was a weapon, a Sword of Damocles hanging above Elibe with its owner long gone and its purpose lost to time. "A weapon..." Her voice was far away, as distant as her thoughts, as Nayru slowly raised one hand into the air before her to grasp at eternity.
"...That guess was... more insightful than you know."
Her hand dropped limply. So many times she had reached out, and so many times had she been disappointed by herself. Even if she finally had control over her other form now, little could erase her uncountable victims. She tried to move on, was still trying, but that didn't mean they had stopped mattering entirely. Her head sank back against the wall, her head pointed a little upwards, and Nayru looked at Remus out of the corner of her eye. "And what if I am a weapon? A monster from the nightmares of children? A danger to those around me?" She was tired, and her voice reflected that. Tired of running, tired of being afraid, tired of lying.
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Post by Remus on Oct 26, 2015 17:46:44 GMT -6
It was weird. This was a moment where Remus felt he could be himself. There was no discomfort. Remus had always, even as a child, strived to be someone who could simply support others. Boost their spirits and help them out. He had always been willing to do even the smallest of things if it meant helping. This led to a rather happy outlook at almost all times though, and gave him the means to just..enjoy the good and soak the bad. The blue haired priest chuckled quietly, as Nayru proposed this concepts towards herself and smiled with nothing but warmth towards her as he answered abruptly. As if it was a simple question for him, though in reality, it was.
"It wouldn't matter if you were."
She was still Nayru. She'd saved him so many times. More importantly, she'd become a part of the kids lives..even if just as a roaming role model to show up and brighten their days. The blue haired male shifted his poise as he adjusted himself, moving his left hand from the mug to open it as if gesturing towards the two children that were not present. "You've helped greatly. In many things. Saved my life. Amelia and Owain would've been abducted, or even dead if not for you. I don't think I've seen someone make that little girl as happy as you have since the incident of the orphanage, and even then she might still have been happyier when talking to you, or having you thrust her upon your shoulder. Owain? He's quiet, but I know him well. He's just as fond of you. Might even be more so than Amelia. He doesn't always need to interact with someone..but he enjoys their presence. I think it's a safety thing. Them just..being there. Not to mention, all the thoughtful amazing conversations we've had? "
The priest shook his head again and, in that moment dismissed everything she had attempted to imply. In his mind, there was no room for such thoughts. "So, please, Nayru. If that's what your worried about, don't be. I've seen monsters. Hargus? Yeah he was a monster. The creature that had the odd nether magic which siphoned souls thoughtlessly, and went around killing everyone near him? That's a monster. You? A woman who enjoys life, has capacity to care for others, and tries to do good things? Yeah that's not a monster. Your someone that has power, and people who care about her. "
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Post by Nayru Al-Saiduq on Oct 26, 2015 18:15:49 GMT -6
"...Haha."
Nayru couldn't help but chuckle. That even among a long list of Remus-ish responses, that one was a strong contender for the most Remus thing that Remus had ever said. "You speak so freely and honestly... I'm a little jealous." Nayru smiled lopsidedly, not really looking at him or turned to face him per se but it wasn't hard to see. She probably would have hugged him on the spot if that was something she actually did, but as... relatively physical as she had become, there was still forever a certain barrier between her and others, one that she unconsciously enforced, and for now its law was absolute. Not that she consciously realized it.
It was truly amazing how Remus could seem to - simplify things just by saying them, breaking down complex concepts or moral quandaries into something that just sounded like an obvious truth that anyone could think of as if it was second nature to him. She was a little jealous of that too, but Nayru had long since given up on being much of an orator or leader of anyone; the best she could do was tell a good story and occasionally come up with a decent pep talk when needed. And listen well, she supposed, but that wasn't really a great measure of speaking. She could empathize with people to a degree, but... really helping them was beyond her. She couldn't even really help Veigue with his problems just be there for him and help him murder people when needed.
But a thought occurred to her.
"...Before we continue this conversation, let me ask you another question. What was bothering you after the fight?"
It was about as gentle of a question as the average dragon in a china shop and half as subtle, but it held purpose of its own. Perhaps she had already intended to tell him before she even entered this conversation, Nayru wondered, feeling a little... odd that she didn't know if it had been a conscious decision or not. Not uncomfortable per se, but she didn't like doing things without understanding them. And she had a... vague, general, idea of where she was going with this if or when she got a proper answer from Remus."
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Post by Remus on Oct 27, 2015 7:24:17 GMT -6
Remus chuckled a bit and briefly gazed down into his mug. He tilted his head before quietly examining the hot chocolate and took another sip at it. He clasped at it with both hands again, sighing quietly and looking back at Nayru. The bags under his eyes and the over-all tired, world weary look compounded to make the priest look far older for a few moments than an idle nineteen year old. As he spoke, he leaned back a bit, his back though stiff still comfortable in the sitting poise as opposed to hunched over someone to heal them or standing all the time. "Yeah..Ahah..I just kind of speak my mind. I figure that makes it easiest to convey what I want to say."
"What was bothering you after the fight?"
Yeah. He should've known he wasn't getting out of this one. Ironically, it seemed they both had a question that could leave them squirming a bit. OH, but Remus. You just said you always speak your mind. What happened to that one, guy? Yeah. Yeah..
The priest gazed to his mug again, wondering if maybe, should he stare at the rippling steaming coco long enough that it might siphon him away to a land of chocolate and freedom. After a few seconds, when this did not happen, the priest sighed a bit and muttered quietly. "Ah..that. Yes. Well...I...was disturbed. Not by your lightning display. Not by the monsters. But well..by me. Ah..how to explain it."
He was obviously bothered by the thought, and fumbled with his words not because he refused to speak his mind, but because he didn't know how to actually put his thoughts into words. As Remus paused for a few quiet seconds, the lapis haired priest looked back to Nayru before resuming. "I was enjoying it. That's what bothered me. I enjoyed harming those things. At first I was just happy I could help protect you, and protect the children. But when I hurt them? Especially caused visible injury...I liked it. I felt like I enjoyed it, got satisfaction knowing that I personally caused something to writhe in pain. That's..not normal and not okay. I also don't know why I would enjoy that..given that well..I've never enjoyed things like that. Not ever. It just...makes me question things. How can I stand against things like that, which are sentiments Kraft and his followers would uphold, when I myself enjoyed inflicting suffering. That makes me no better than them.... " The priest huffed a bit, wearily looking back into his chocolate while trying, and still failing to rack his brain adequately enough to find a defense or way to lessen how wrong it all seemed to him.
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Post by Nayru Al-Saiduq on Oct 27, 2015 10:21:13 GMT -6
Huh. Heavy stuff. It was clear even to her that Remus was seriously bothered by this, cutting off what would have been an immediate and snarky response normally. Just didn't seem appropriate to take it too lightly right off when he was to some degree confiding in her, about something that he disliked about himself no less. It wouldn't be a very good move to mock that, even unintentionally, even if she didn't care what he thought of her. But she did, so that made it even more unpleasant a thought.
Rather than answering immediately, Nayru took refuge in distraction, silently raising her mug up to take a long swig of the dirt-colored liquid. At least it didn't taste like dirt. She'd had bitter hot cocoa before, long ago, but in centuries since humanity had refined the beverage to taste much, much sweeter, something she was more than a little thankful for. The original stuff had been alright, but this - the warm, rich flavor assaulting her senses, the pungent odor assaulting her nose, the way it was like fire down her throat but all the sweeter for the discomfort, this was heaven. And hey, any race that could invent this stuff couldn't be all bad, right?
More than just reveling in the taste, though, Nayru's mind was active, trying to come up with a response or even just a position to take on Remus's concerns. Perhaps more accurately, she was trying to discern what he might have actually felt. She didn't think he was lying - at least not to her. The problem was if he was lying to himself. Not intentionally, and probably not for the worst, but he had convinced himself that hurting others was Bad and what he had done was Wrong, as if they were two immutable constants regardless of circumstance, and that was most likely twisting his perceptions of what he had actually felt.
Well, that or he was actually a sociopath finally coming into his own. He DID seem too perfect to be real; perhaps he had awakened the darkness inside and transformed into a being of pure hatred and loathing!
...Nah, probably not.
"Well, if you do decide to take over Elibe, just remember I'm a pretty good babysitter for the days you're off sowing havoc and destruction across the lands." Nayru spoke over her mug with a wry smile to match her tone, lips quirked upwards at the somewhat cavalier response. "But seriously, what about the alternate hypotheses?" The dragon lazily took one hand off the mug, fingers splaying out one by one as she countered the options. "One - justice boner. Two - the rush of power realizing you could actually DO something, help people directly, rather than 'just' as support. Three - a little safe judgement. No bullshit about subjective morality and innocence, those things are just shy of literally the nightmares of children brought to life, evil incarnate. A chance to be a storybook hero, where good and evil are clearly defined without any overlap."
"So... what makes you so convinced that you just enjoy causing suffering? 'Cause I gotta tell you Remus, either you've done a really good job of fooling me so far or you're the kind of guy that'd heal the bandit axing him a question, and I just don't see you going the torture route."
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Post by Remus on Oct 28, 2015 8:51:34 GMT -6
It was poor timing, or the wrath of fate, that saw Remus attempting to take a swig of hot coco when Nayru began to mention her availability to baby sit once he ascended to power as the ruler of Elibe. This running joke between them harbored no actual merit, but it was certainly an edifying experience in humility. The priest should've known better however as he sipped into the hot chocolate mug. Because remark forced him to pause, cheeks inflating as he almost spit the hot-chocolate out and back into his mug. He held it though, resisting the urge to laugh long enough that he could first swallow the refreshing beverage before taking a breathless gasp and laughing. His body shook in that brief moment as the hearty laugh left him, before he looked up to Nayru with a bit of a brighter expression. Remus was usually all smiles, but even he was not above the boundless grasp of despair. So perhaps he was lucky to have Nayru there. Her sense of humor and coarse exterior with a personally most might think abrasive was literally perfect for him in this moment. He sighed after the chuckle, at-least admiring the womans ability to lighten any situation, be it this or a fight with winged death abominations conjured from the Stygian abyss known as the nether.
The priest briefly pressed his hand to his forehead, trying to figure out how best to word the actual issue. He wished it was as cut and dry as Nayru's other outlooks. It just worried him. Combing a hand through messy peacock blue hair he looked to her before exhaling quietly. "Well...because when I fired off that light magic? It just..I dunno. felt good. It felt good to know I was strong enough to hurt them. I wouldn't be as worried if it wasn't for the fact that, that just felt wrong. I've never harmed a thing in my life. Why would I be happy to harm something? I mean..their monsters...so most people would be happy to hurt them. I just...ah..I don't know if I can word it properly. I'm just afraid that I'll enjoy it too much. I'm...not like other people. My sister for example. She could reduce a person to ash, and justify it if they were evil or cruel. Which is fine to some people but, I don't think I could ever do that. At-least..I did until this fight. Now I'm starting to doubt that. " Though he didn't look as worried as before, thanks to Nayru's jab and outburst, he was still worried. The blue haired priest didn't know what to make of it. Combat in general was still somewhat new to him. He wasn't sure just how much he could actually stomach for violence. That was what worried him though...that he would enjoy it more.
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Post by Nayru Al-Saiduq on Oct 28, 2015 10:38:30 GMT -6
"Jeeze, from murdering monsters to murdering mugs. Oh how the mighty have fallen!" Inordinately proud of her own alliterative prowess, Nayru lightly punched Remus on the shoulder with a stupid grin, thankful that even if for a moment the atmosphere seemed to have lifted a bit. She didn't like seeing people miserable or hating themselves, that was HER job god dammit, so it felt... good to be able to help with that a bit. Like it was something that even she could do; less a function of grand wisdom and piercing insight that she didn't necessarily have access to, and more just good use of her horrible sense of humor. Hey, she could admit it, but sometimes it worked out fine. Took all kind of clowns to make a circus, right?
"But hey, let me tell you a story." She learned back to her makeshift seat, her mind whirling to life as Nayru went into storyteller mode. "A story about a girl who lived a long time ago; before you were born, before Etruria became what it is today, before monsters roamed the earth like a plague." Okay, that was maybe a little too dramatic, but whatever, artistic license. "She didn't like fighting much either. She had seen what power meant. The horrible things that mindless monsters could do. The dangers of unlimited power left to wreak havoc. She saw the aftermath of that power, watched villages burn and the innocent die. She saw a lot of good people get hurt, not because they did anything wrong, not because some magical sky fairy judged them, but because they just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, and she couldn't do anything about it."
"But one day - she found people worth protecting." Elly. Veigue. Hayle. Remus. There was Lynessa, there was Locke, there was Marcus, even Aerious had taught her something despite how broken and spiteful of a man he had become as a result of the cruel world they lived in. "So for the first time, she chose to fight. To try to use that power for good, rather than just running away from her past. It... didn't go perfectly every time," Nayru continued with perhaps the greatest understatement in the history of the universe; one needed only look at the charred ruins of that bandit fortress in Sacae or the multiple times she had nearly lost control while fighting alongside Veigue halfshifted to illustrate that point, "but it turned out she had a knack for it, and it felt... good to be able to help people for once. Like maybe there was a chance to make things right, to atone for the past she was running from."
"And then, one day?"
"She realized she liked it."
Nayru smiled, the carefully timed pause between the last two sentences no coincidence. "She felt more alive at the brink of death than she ever had before. Mastering her body and spirit became a passion, an obsession. And as her bonds with others grew and her mastery of self improved, one day she realized she could control that power, try to keep it from ever hurting innocent people again. She just had to keep fighting forever, actively turning it against bad people rather than letting it build up until it went haywire and hurt anyone in her vicinity."
"So let me ask you this, Remus. Is it wrong to enjoy fighting?"
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Post by Remus on Oct 28, 2015 12:20:05 GMT -6
The priest chuckled again. This time, ready for her scheme to make him laugh, he waited to drink his hot coco. Honestly though, the drink had been concocted perfectly. The right blend of sweetness and warmth, without either one becoming offensive to any degree. The priest shifted his staff and looked to the mug quietly for a moment. He could faintly see his reflection in the murky rippling drink still lingering within the mug. It wasn't the clearest. But it was him. It was an odd moment. He saw himself, and saw his grin reflected upon his expression from Nayru's comment. It was...like it lightened the mood. That made him happy. The lapis haired male gazed towards Nayru again as she began to speak of a story to tell him. Was it one she'd learned as a historian? He imagined so, given her bringing up that it'd been of long ago. Though since he'd been the one to tell a tale last time they'd been able to sit down and talk, namely that of the Nabatan Ice dragon and her Love, he was more than content to listen to this tale.
The priest took a moment to slide himself backwards and pull his feet up atop the box. As he looked to Nayru he quizzically pondered this story. It was certainly not one he'd heard prior. He did feel however, that there was certainly a relation between himself and it. The priest had just started to know what it meant to have a power that could harm or hinter another. Already he was afraid of it. Perhaps if he'd been used to it, he'd be more of a disposition like his sister? He never could escape that shadow, could he? Even when he finally came into his own, he found someway to drag himself back under it.
Then she mentioned the part where the girl enjoyed protecting others. Yeah that sure sounded familiar. It also however, reminded him of another thought he'd felt. The part where he'd first started fighting. How he'd enjoyed defending Nayru. Remus looked down at his palm. The priest quietly channeled a small fluctuation of magic that was often used to shield others. It was a mist like wispy blue essence, before he looked over to Nayru with a soft chuckle, smiling warmly. He mentally sculpted and molded the magic, before a small solid blue essence channeled into a tiny blue hexagonal style dome above his palm. A mini barrier almost. Protecting others...wasn't that truly why he enjoyed magic? Wasn't that why he had wanted to get stronger? So he could save others. Protect them. He nodded a bit and spoke up quietly, after pondering the end of the story a bit longer before smiling warmly to Nayru. "Thats..ah..Yes. Heh...that's how it should be. Using power to protect others. I guess...as long as I'm keeping others safe, the act of stopping those who would harm them is acceptable. I may have to get used to fighting still..but I think I can live with myself that way. Thank you Nayru. Thank you so very much."
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Post by Nayru Al-Saiduq on Oct 29, 2015 11:06:13 GMT -6
"Way I see it? If you have power, might as well use it for good." Nayru chuckled, a little at the irony of HER of all people telling others how to live her lives, and a little at how she really was one of the more experienced experts in on the subject. The world really was a strange place sometimes. "You're more an expert on morality than me, I just try to do the right thing, and sometimes it even works." And sometimes it didn't, and sometimes she just made things worse, but she was still learning. Really though, there wasn't a lot else she could lecture Remus on, and a lot of this stuff he had to figure out himself.
Because, in the end, people had to decide their own paths. She could try to guide Remus all she wanted but unless he wanted to change or define himself, it just wasn't going to happen. "Word of advice though," she continued, a little more seriously. "Don't get too caught up on the details. Missing the forest for the trees and all that. I've seen it happen to a lot of smart people, and sometimes it takes 'em down paths they wouldn't normally go down. Just keep your head on straight and try to do the right thing and you'll be fine. Unless you're out there murdering puppies, morality is a pretty relative thing - sometimes there is no easy answer and sometimes you just need to make a decision even when both the options suck. Just pick the best one and own your decision rather than letting it make you."
Eh... that'd sounded a little more like sagely wisdom in her head, but she wasn't sure what the actual impact of it had been. Nayru lifted the mug and took a deep drink, chugging most of it in one go before placing her cup down as she rose. Good time to call it quits yeah? "Well, it's been a good talk. I gotta go check on my, uh, pet rock collection, see you a little later!" She wouldn't, of course. Soon as she got out of eyesight she was going on a mad dash to get the hell out of town and preferably halfway across Bern before Remus remembered what they had been talking about a little earlier. The dragon waved with a forced smile as she stepped backwards. Steady... I bet he doesn't suspect a thing. Smooth.
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