An Empty Tome [Lilly/Linius C]
Apr 3, 2012 10:44:29 GMT -6
Post by Deleted on Apr 3, 2012 10:44:29 GMT -6
Another jolt, signifying another bump in the dusty road. Lilly supposed that if she wasn't leaning against the edge of the carriage she wouldn't feel them as much, but in a way the tinges of pain served to keep her anchored to reality, to jerk her away from what she knew were self-destructive lines of thought. He was - dead. That wasn't going to change. Killing herself wasn't going to change that, and she didn't believe in an afterlife enough to do it under some misguided urge to be with him once more. Even if she did, Lilly didn't think she would have the courage to do it.
So it was that less than a week after his death, she was trundling out of Ryerde for parts unknown, in a vehicle provided by "well-wishers" who really just wanted her out of the way. The unsaid implications were obvious - get out and stay out. Perhaps a few years back she would have fought it, held close to her dream and gone out kicking and screaming, but now Lilly found herself too exhausted to even try. Maybe it was better that she leave that past behind entirely, simply living life as a commoner. Marry some random farmer, bear him dozens of children, wallow in mediocrity and self-loathing while worrying about little more than what to make for dinner. Didn't that just sound like a fulfilling life.
-And yet Linius was still with her. She didn't know why. He would be happier going back to mercenary life, making money doing what he did best, or sticking around with the replacement marquess. Then he would be making just as much money, but in relative safety. Better for everyone. Lillianne wasn't entirely adverse to admitting that she was glad to have him there, but it made no sense from a logical perspective. Didn't matter. Not much seemed to these days, but she supposed that she ought to be better company than just moping against the wall. quietly hoping for blessed release.
"...Was what we were doing pointless? Years of effort and his dreams all snuffed out in an instant. Not by war, or even a long life well spent, or anything a man could go to his grave knowing he had died in the service of his country, but by sudden illness."
So it was that less than a week after his death, she was trundling out of Ryerde for parts unknown, in a vehicle provided by "well-wishers" who really just wanted her out of the way. The unsaid implications were obvious - get out and stay out. Perhaps a few years back she would have fought it, held close to her dream and gone out kicking and screaming, but now Lilly found herself too exhausted to even try. Maybe it was better that she leave that past behind entirely, simply living life as a commoner. Marry some random farmer, bear him dozens of children, wallow in mediocrity and self-loathing while worrying about little more than what to make for dinner. Didn't that just sound like a fulfilling life.
-And yet Linius was still with her. She didn't know why. He would be happier going back to mercenary life, making money doing what he did best, or sticking around with the replacement marquess. Then he would be making just as much money, but in relative safety. Better for everyone. Lillianne wasn't entirely adverse to admitting that she was glad to have him there, but it made no sense from a logical perspective. Didn't matter. Not much seemed to these days, but she supposed that she ought to be better company than just moping against the wall. quietly hoping for blessed release.
"...Was what we were doing pointless? Years of effort and his dreams all snuffed out in an instant. Not by war, or even a long life well spent, or anything a man could go to his grave knowing he had died in the service of his country, but by sudden illness."