Valikae

[Valikae]

Name: Valikae

Class: Squire

Hair Color: Brown

Eye Color: Gold

Age: 20

Appearance: Valikae is taller than average with well-toned muscles and rugged features. He has a very prominent nose and a square jaw, over which he sports a bushy goatee. His eyes show a contradictory combination of fierce animal instincts and gentle compassion.

Clothes: Wears a bronze breastplate, passed down to him by his father. Also wears a pair of tan riding pants and a pair of black dragonhide boots that were given to him as a gift by a blind Oracle.

Born in: Sacae

Story: The illegitimate son of an Ostian lord and a Sacaen plainswoman, Valikae was born in secret in the plains of Sacae. He was raised there until he was seven years old when his town was ravaged by raiders from the Bern mountains. Forced to raise himself he quickly learned survival tactics like how to hunt and how to fight off bandits and raiders. He crafted his own bow and the age of twelve, and began hiring himself out as a mercenary to local towns, protecting them from the barbaric tribes in the Sacaen plains. One day, while looking for work in the city of Araphen, Valikae happened upon a blind Oracle named Haleth. The Oracle told Valikae that he felt the pulse of Ostia running through his blood, and that one day he would help fend off the threat of oppression from Ostia's borders. With the words of the Oracle echoing in his head, Valikae spent the last of his money on a horse, and rode out to Castle Ostia, and pledged his allegiance to the Marquess of Ostia, who appointed him as a squire in service of the House of Ostia. Valikae is now fiercely training, preparing for the day when his destiny will beckon for him.

[Clair Feldsky]

I'm not a moderator, but I can tell you that this story won't quite work as is. The main reason being that Ostia is a burned out shell at the moment. By your description, it sounds like your character's class would be better suited to Nomad, a mounted archer. Or you could start as a hunter, but that would be a trainee class, and trainee classes are closed at the moment.

Also, Hector, Eliwood, and Lyndis lived normal common person lives here. Just throwing that out there.

-To get an idea of what's going on story wise, take a look at the following thread.

wayofdawarrior.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=important&action=display&thread=1797&page=1
(BTW. How do you enclose a link inside a certain bit of text. If I wanted the link to look like "What's gone down in the books" instead of a big string of text...?)

Read at least the World History, and the Ostia section of Lycia. Of course, if you manage to choke the whole thing down, you'll have a good picture of whats going on.

[Valorian]

Here is that code you requested Clair.

[*url=URL.com]I want to say something here![*/url]

Eliminate the *'s and it should work fine.

Back on topic, she is indeed correct.

Trainee classes are closed for the time being, too damn many of em. And Ostia is currently torched. I'll be more then happy to look through this again once you've touched it up. You're a good writer, so it shouldn't be too bad.

[Clair Feldsky]

Oh, the things I could say regarding that "she" comment. Lol! No worries since I was on the Clair account. Thanks for the code.

Yeah, I did like the story by the way. The dragon hide boots won't gain the favor of Aerious though, eh Valorian? The name "Haleth"
sounds familiar from the Silmarillion, and actually, Valikae resembles the name style of the beginning of that book. Do we have a Tolkein scholar here?

As far as the trainees go though, we had Wyatt, Gabriel, Hal, Lillith, Selk, Eric, Clair, Kynlis, Fargo... did I miss someone? Anyway, Fargo's missing, Eric isn't what I'd consider an active member(Look at the post count. though that may change in the future), Wyatt's promoted, and Clair and Gabriel are both going to promote out soon, as they are both in the eighties.

That cut's the number of trainees in half, leaving Hal, Lillith, Selk, and Kynlis with a bit to go yet. That means we're about to have the trainee population cut in half.

Maybe I'll put up a roster of trainee units in the general board. If nothing else it would be interesting for future Rpers to see where the vets of their time came from... Am I becoming a Matthias?

[Marle Daviau]

You forgot Marle you meanie!

[Morgoth Animus]

Hey, I'm our Tolkein Scholar!

[Sarah]

*is deeply wounded at exclusion*

[Byron]

Well again, I'm no mod but we do have too many trainee classes lately. The story is great and it was descriptive, but your going to have to read up on your history. Because right now, after the battle for Ostia, well let's just say it wans't pretty. But your just gonna have to wait for Gabriel or Hal to get on. No one else is important. No just kidding, Wyatt is important too. Anyway make a few changes here and there and your good.

[Valikae]

Hey thanks everyone for all the advice and the compliments on my writing. As for the brokenness of the backstory, I had originally had a story and character build that were exactly like the one that Kyro had made, with the exception of a few minor physical features (I guess great minds really do think alike). After seeing that I didn't want to throw in another character who was exactly like him so I tried to force out a new backstory before class while in truth only skimming the World History sections. I have fully read them now and I'm in the process of fixing my backstory and I will make him a pre-promote class as well. Thanks again for all the help and the revised edition should be ready soon.

[Valikae]

Name: Valikae

Class: Nomad

Hair Color: Brown

Eye Color: Gold

Age: 20

Appearance: Valikae is taller than average with well-toned muscles and rugged features. He has a very prominent nose and a square jaw, over which he sports a bushy goatee. His eyes show a contradictory combination of fierce animal instincts and gentle compassion. His dark brown hair is pulled back into a ponytail about shoulder-length.

Clothes: Wears a bronze breastplate, passed down to him by his father. Also wears a pair of tan riding pants and a pair of black dragonhide boots that were given to him as a gift by a blind Oracle.

Born in: Sacae

Story: The illegitimate son of an Ostian lord and a Sacaen plainswoman, Valikae was born in secret in the plains of Sacae. He was raised there until he was seven years old when his town was visited by missionaries from Etruria. They demanded that the "savages" repent and proclaim their undying faith in the Prophet Kraft and the new scriptures of Elimine. The tribe refused, and as punishment it was burned to the ground by Region Officer Richter Abend's forces. Forced to raise himself he quickly learned survival tactics like how to hunt and how to fight off bandits and raiders. He crafted his own bow and the age of twelve, and began hiring himself out as a mercenary to local towns, protecting them from the barbaric tribes in the Sacaen plains. One day, while looking for work in the city of Araphen, Valikae happened upon a blind Oracle named Haleth. The Oracle told Valikae that he felt the pulse of Ostia running through his blood, and that one day he would help rebuild the ruins of Ostia, and lead the men of Elibe into battle, one day ridding it of its oppressors. He told Valikae of the burning of Ostia (several weeks before it happened) and that the prophet Kraft would be responsible for the death of his true father, and his mother. Valikae doubted the man, but several weeks later when news of Ostia's fall had reached Araphen, Valikae accepted the Oracle's fore-tellings for truth, and vowed to rid the land of the scourge of Kraft's new discipleship.

[Gabriel]

As much as the new story is interesting, Kraft only began his rule over Etruria roughly 5 years ago, and only this year did Richter join Kraft's forces. Back then, only bandits would have tried something like that.

(oh, and yes, as Byron said in the c-box, you need to pick a promoted class)

To make it clear, you could have a bunch of bandits or similar burn down your village, remove Kraft's name from the first few lines(still having the Oracle mention him), and have Richter's name removed(since he has nothing to do with bandits >_>).

[Valikae]

Thank you Gabriel, that helps a lot. Sorry I'm working on trying to absorb all of the world history and get it to the point where it comes naturally. I'll rework it here in a second. And sorry about neglecting a promote class, I didn't think we had to pick one from the starting gate.

[Valikae]

Name: Valikae

Class: Nomad

Promote Class: Nomadic Trooper

Hair Color: Brown

Eye Color: Gold

Age: 20

Appearance: Valikae is taller than average with well-toned muscles and rugged features. He has a very prominent nose and a square jaw, over which he sports a bushy goatee. His eyes show a contradictory combination of fierce animal instincts and gentle compassion. His dark brown hair is pulled back into a ponytail about shoulder-length.

Clothes: Wears a bronze breastplate, passed down to him by his father. Also wears a pair of tan riding pants and a pair of black dragonhide boots that were given to him as a gift by a blind Oracle.

Born in: Sacae

Story: The illegitimate son of an Ostian lord and a Sacaen plainswoman, Valikae was born in secret in the plains of Sacae. He was raised there until he was seven years old when his town was ravaged by raiders from the Bern mountains. Forced to raise himself he quickly learned survival tactics like how to hunt and how to fight off bandits and raiders. He crafted his own bow and the age of twelve, and began hiring himself out as a mercenary to local towns, protecting them from the barbaric tribes in the Sacaen plains. One day, while looking for work in the city of Araphen, Valikae happened upon a blind Oracle named Haleth. The Oracle told Valikae that he felt the pulse of Ostia running through his blood, and that one day he would help rebuild the ruins of Ostia, and lead the men of Elibe into battle, one day ridding it of its oppressors. He told Valikae of the burning of Ostia (several weeks before it happened) and that the prophet Kraft would be responsible for the death of his true father, his last living relative. Valikae doubted the man, but several weeks later when news of Ostia's fall had reached Araphen, Valikae accepted the Oracle's fore-tellings for truth, and vowed to rid the land of the scourge of Kraft's new discipleship.

[Marcus]

Wow, that turned out great after all the revisions it went through!

[Richter Abend]

My life is complete. Richter finally has a sworn enemy!