An Empty Tome [Lilly/Linius C]

[Deleted]

Another jolt, signifying another bump in the dusty road. Lilly supposed that if she wasn't leaning against the edge of the carriage she wouldn't feel them as much, but in a way the tinges of pain served to keep her anchored to reality, to jerk her away from what she knew were self-destructive lines of thought. He was - dead. That wasn't going to change. Killing herself wasn't going to change that, and she didn't believe in an afterlife enough to do it under some misguided urge to be with him once more. Even if she did, Lilly didn't think she would have the courage to do it.

So it was that less than a week after his death, she was trundling out of Ryerde for parts unknown, in a vehicle provided by "well-wishers" who really just wanted her out of the way. The unsaid implications were obvious - get out and stay out. Perhaps a few years back she would have fought it, held close to her dream and gone out kicking and screaming, but now Lilly found herself too exhausted to even try. Maybe it was better that she leave that past behind entirely, simply living life as a commoner. Marry some random farmer, bear him dozens of children, wallow in mediocrity and self-loathing while worrying about little more than what to make for dinner. Didn't that just sound like a fulfilling life.

-And yet Linius was still with her. She didn't know why. He would be happier going back to mercenary life, making money doing what he did best, or sticking around with the replacement marquess. Then he would be making just as much money, but in relative safety. Better for everyone. Lillianne wasn't entirely adverse to admitting that she was glad to have him there, but it made no sense from a logical perspective. Didn't matter. Not much seemed to these days, but she supposed that she ought to be better company than just moping against the wall. quietly hoping for blessed release.

"...Was what we were doing pointless? Years of effort and his dreams all snuffed out in an instant. Not by war, or even a long life well spent, or anything a man could go to his grave knowing he had died in the service of his country, but by sudden illness."

[Linius]

Linius rubbed the soft, oily cloth across his shield in tiny, repetitive circles, making very slow progress across the large protective piece of metal. He had been at it for at least an hour, yet was not half way through. Yet he did it so meticulously and with such intent, one would almost think he derives a sense of pleasure from it. The practice was pounded into his mind and soul from a very young age. He could still remember his fathers sound advice. "Care for your armor, son, and it will care for you." And cared for it he did. Yes, there were faster ways to tend to it, but when one had nothing but time, what better way to spend it?

And as of now, Linius certainly had nothing but time. With Lord Caelan gone, a new Marquess was to assume the vacant roll. Which of course, brought up the ever logical question, why was he sitting in this wagon with his former Lord's widow, off on a journey to who knows where, and not in service to the new Lord of Worde and Ryerde, where he would have no doubt continued to enjoy the advantages of a sworn knight? Of course, he had already expected such a question, and had already had an answer to give. "I swore my fealty to my Lord and Lady. My Lord has passed on, but my Lady yet lives."

Linius worked in silence, for it was indeed silent, save for the rolling of the wagon and the hoof beats of the beasts that bore it. The silence went on seemingly forever, untill it was broken by his female companion. Silently, the knight listened to his Lady's question, and remained silent as he thought of his answer. He could understand her pain. Lord Caelan had been more than his master, he had been his dear friend. Even for Linius, a man of battle, his loss had been hard to take. If he had died in war, there would be vengeance to take. If he had died of age, there would be comfort in a full life. But there was neither. His Lordship was close to Linius' own age, not at all an old man, and it was not a sword that took him, but disease. It had struck him in a way he had never imagined before.

But he could not sit here and feel sorry for himself. His Lady needed his support. "To bring about a new age of prosperity for your subjects is not something I would deem pointless, my Lady." he replied. "Life is a fickle thing. Many who deserve to die still live, yet many who are owed life find it taken from them all too soon." Linius adjusted his shield, examining his own face in the polished area. "In ten years of service, I have had many thoughts, my Lady, but never once have I ever thought that your ambitions were foolish. I have supported you whole heartedly those ten years, and will continue to do so until I can no longer lift this lance and this shield in your name."