Alone {open}

[Morgoth Animus]

I can’t believe we lost him! Morgoth thought, getting angry. He was surrounded by forest, lost in the wilderness. Why does everything always go wrong?! He shouted in his head, begin to despair. Images of all his failures ran through his head. They stopped on his mother. The image pierced his mind and then slowly faded away. It began to rain.

“Great!” Morgoth scoffed hysterically as he trudged through the foliage. He was beginning to lose it, all his troubles slipping from his controlled grasp. He eventually stopped. A tear ran down his cheek. Alone. Lightning cracked across the sky and it began to pour.

Alone. Rain fell hard from the sky, thumping against Morgoth’s body. Another person flashed into his mind, this time a man. Thump. Morgoth began falling to his knees, as if ran through by a sword. His mother again. Thump. Alone. His body was going numb. Why does this world hurt? The thought echoed through his head, a soft whisper. Thump. Thunder crackled and boomed in the background. Why did it happen? Lightning flashed, and suddenly Morgoth was no longer there.

[Morgoth Animus]

A little boy ran down a wooden hallway in his bare feet. He wore brown clothing, a rough shirt and shorts. A black book was in his hand.

“Mommy!” the boy called out, giggling as he ran to the lighted end of the hall. He came to it and slowed as he entered a room.
Candles flickered on the walls. A few feet from the door was a worn table, surrounded by three chairs. On one chair sat a raven haired woman. She turned her head, smiling at the boy as he ran toward her. She had gentle red eyes and hair that went to the middle of her back. Years of hardship could be seen on her face, weariness. But most of all, there was a resounding happiness.

“What is it?” She asked in a sweet voice, picking him up and putting him in her lap. His father moved around. He was on the other side of the room cooking dinner.

“Look what I can do,” the boy said, open the book. He chanted a line from it and a purple orb speckled with black appeared, floating above the table.

“Wonderful, Morgoth,” the woman said. “Your going to do great things for the people of Elibe.” She always said that. His father brought dishes to the table and they clanked loudly against it. The boy looked toward the noise, losing his control on the magic. There was a pop and the orb exploded. The last thing he remembered was his mother throwing herself on top of him.

[Morgoth Animus]

The image faded, replaced by another; a young man in a black cloak kneeling before two marked graves. It was the boy from before, older now, with long black hair and red eyes. Eyes full of sadness and guilt. He looked to the tombstones. They said ‘Animus’ and were marked six years ago.

A was in the background, seeing off their son. He had blue hair and an eye-patch. A lance was strapped to his back. The young man in black turned to look at them with tears in his eyes. Anger slowly came to his face. The blue haired boy found an empty village when he returned.

WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!

Silence. What do you want for yourself?

The reply startled Morgoth. He had forgotten about Irmo, and so wasn’t expecting an answer. But the answer was clear to him. Peace. Peace from the suffering. Peace from the pain.

Then let go of it. You don't have to keep it.

I can't give it up. It is who I am.

True, but you can not let it weigh you down. You can't live in the past. Nor the future. You of all people should know this by now.

Silence. If I do as you suggest, then who will I be? My pain has always defined me. My past, my future.

Why don't you find out...

[Morgoth Animus]

“You think he’s ok?” Some one said in a soft, irritating voice. It almost sounded kiddish. Morgoth’s eyes flicked open.

“Ah!” A man with white hair stumbled backward away from Morgoth. The man had been standing over him. “He’s alive!”

“Oh course he is, he was still breathing,” a deep, booming voice said. It sounded as if someone was chewing on something in the side of their mouth while talking. Morgoth got up quickly, looking around. He didn’t see the origin of the other voice.

“Who are you?” Morgoth asked, setting a piercing gaze upon the white haired man. Morgoth still wasn’t to trusting of people, especially in this situation. They were still in the forest, or at least a forest. The man had had sort of glazed look in his eyes. He wore a headband and light leather armor.

“I’m Kade,” the white haired man said, grinning. “And that,” he pointed to Morgoth’s left,” is Mortin. Morgoth looked as Kade pointed.

How did I miss him?! Morgoth thought, taking in the giant known as Mortin. I’m sure I looked over there when I woke up. The man was as big or bigger than Perseus, though he had more armor and looked as if he had seen more battles. He walked over and helped Morgoth up.

[Morgoth Animus]

“We found you drowning in the mud,” Mortin said, stepping back from Morgoth. Morgoth eyed the two. I don’t know if I can trust these guys, he thought. I should ditch them. Why would you do that? Wasn’t the point not to be alone? Whatever, stay out of this.

“So what were you doing out here,” Kade asked, bringing Morgoth from his thoughts. “It’s dangerous in Lycia these days.”

“I got lost,” Morgoth said. He didn’t see any harm telling them. Plus, it kept them busy. “But what are you two doing out here?”

“Training,” Kade said. “Lycia needs strong fighters now, what with cities disappearing and bandits running amuck.” His eyes lit up. “Say, we could use your help. We need a leader. Sorry, but we looked through your bag. Your some kind of scholar, right? That must mean your smart.” He smiled, closing his eyes.

[Morgoth Animus]

Wha- Morgoth thought. He checked, and sure enough his bag was gone. How did I not notice? He moved his hands to his side and lightly felt for his tomes. Good, they’re there.

“How many times do I have to tell you,” Mortin said, slapping Kade upside the head, “He’s a mage.” He looked at Morgoth. “So, you up for it? We could really use you in the battles ahead.”

Morgoth thought a moment. Well…. I do need to train. Perhaps you can reach your goal with these two. Maybe. But for now this is a chance to train.

“All right, I’ll train with you,” Morgoth said with a smile. “But I’m not sure about this leader thing. I prefer thinging on the fly.”

“Fair enough,” Mortin said. “We’ve been training for a couple of weeks, so we’ll start with you.” He grinned and pulled and axe from his back. Morgoth paled.

[Morgoth Animus]

I'm going to die Morgoth thought. It had been a few days since he had agreed to train with his new friends. Friends... the word was new to him, but he had found these two to be quite interesting. At least when they weren't trying to kill him. He had his back against a tree. A book was in his hands and his Luna tome in his lap. His clothes were torn to shreds and his mantle lay on the ground beside him. It was in perfect condition.

Luckily one the books I grabbed helps explain these blasted magic runes, Morgoth thought while looking at his book. I'd never of figured it out. He sighed. He had decided to do magic training while the other two went to spar. Apparently their mother was a mage, and had always said physical training is important. These two thought it was a little too important.

The words and story's in these books are sad. They're full of empty and broken people. Yes.... but emptiness is the only way to reach this magic. If one can not grasp nothing, then they can't use it. That is true. Perhaps some day I'll take up another magic. Shall we get to business? Yes, we need to try an use magic together.

Morgoth got up and and left the camp. He went a ways away, just as a precaution against accidents. Alright, how should we do this? Should we try each of us using a hand? No, because we have to be touching the tome. Hmm.... you shape it and I'll focus on giving it energy. Ok. Lets start with the orb.

Morgoth's right hand moved to the tome on his right leg. He stretched out his left hand and put his palm upward. He began chanting. But unlike other times, he understood what he was saying. He knew the pain and misery that it spoke of. One of his eyes began to glow with magic. A purle orb speckled with black appeared over his left hand.

Ok, lets shrink it. The orb pulsated as Morgoth continued to chant. What’s going on? I don’t know. Obviously it’s going to be harder than we thought. The orb flickered out and Morgoth quit chanting. His was breathing hard, the training from earlier taking it’s toll on him. It seems we must find our conection. What makes us the same. Great.

[Morgoth Animus]

I like to kill. I'm peaceful. I'm strong. I'm skillful. I'm a bit lonely. I'm just bored. I'm easily annoyed. I'm tolerant. This is impossible. Nothing is impossible. Morgoth scowled. Irmo laughed in the background. It seems the only thing we really have in common is this body and magic. Perhaps meditation will help? No, because you can't meditate, right? Oh ya. Wait, that's it! You don't actually have the ability to use magic yourself, you have to use me to do it! Oh, duh! So all we have to do is-

"Come to an understanding," Morgoth said aloud. He was sitting against a tree again. He was still away from the camp, but it had been several hours since he had attempted to use magic. The question we've been asking is so wrong! I can't believe we didn't see it before. Yes, and come to think of it we've been fairly close before. It isn't you or I, it's us. What do we want.

Peace. Understanding. Might. Healing. Who are we? Pain. Anger. Hope. Chaos. Kindness. They began to lose a sense of duality. What shall we do? Kill. Heal. Devastate. Rebuild. Condemn. Save. I am Morgoth, Prince of Darkness. He lost consciousness.

[Morgoth Animus]

Morgoth’s vision was fuzzy. Where am I? he thought, looking around. He was surrounded… by nothing. Just blackness. He took a step forward. A light appeared in the distance, and then flickered out. He took another step. The light appeared and disappeared again. He ran at it, this time the light continued to shine.

What is this? Morgoth questioned, as he continued to run for what seemed like hours. And right as he began to lose hope, he reached the light. There was a table with three chairs around it, and candles seemed to float in the air. A raven haired woman had her back to him. Tears came to his eyes.

“Mother?” Morgoth whispered, his voice trembling. The woman turned her head.

“Morgoth?” Vana questioned, gazing at him. Her eyes brightened and a smile came to her face. “Oh, my boy! Look how you’ve grown!” She stood and Morgoth ran to imbrace her. They stood there a moment, tears dripping from his eyes as he hugged her.

“Come, sit with me,” she said after a while. She sat in the chair she had been in and he took a seat beside her. “So tell me, my Hero of Elibe, how have you faired? Tell me your story.” She continued to smile her warm, bright smile.

“I-” Morgoth began. He choaked up a little, and wiped the tears from his eyes with his sleeve. “I’m no hero.” He began to tell her his story, of how he had spent the last ten years of his life. As he told his story, his mother slowly began to get a look of sadness in her eyes. By the time he was finished, she had tears streaking down her face.

“My boy… you’ve suffered so much.” She leaned over and hugged him. “I never dreamed you would blame yourself so much.”

Morgoth once again had tears in his eyes. “How could I not? I killed you. Because of me you lost your life.” She let go. “If only I had been stronger,” he said with bitterness, “You wouldn’t have died. I-” He slamed his fist on the table.

“It doesn’t matter,” she said, her voice getting soft. Her eyes met his. Hers full of love, his full of anger and pain. “It doesn’t matter if you had been strong enough. You weren’t. Don’t live in the past.” Something clicked in Morgoth and he had an ‘ah ha’ moment. “I died protecting you. That’s all that matters. What happened, happened, and why it happened isn’t important. People take what they’re given, and act accordingly. That’s what I did.”

“Don’t live in the past,” Morgoth repeated, a genuine smile coming to his face.

“Yes,” Vana said, smiling back. They met eyes again. Hers full of happiness, his full of hope. “Morgoth,” she began, taking his hand, “I forgive you.” He smiled, a peaceful calm coming over him. He closed his eyes.

[Morgoth Animus]

What is this? Morgoth questioned. Is this what peace feels like? He smiled. It’s been a while. But what should I do with it?

“That is the age old question,” a familiar voice said. Morgoth opened his eyes. The table was gone and so was his mother. Intead of a chair he sat on a small set of stairs. This is my home?!

“Oh, your alive,” the voice said, chuckling. Morgoth turned his head and found his father sitting beside him. “You know, I’m surprised you didn’t blame me for what happened.” He smiled.

“Anyways, back to your question,” Orme said. “It’s a very good one, but not easily answered. He looked at Morgoth, grinning. “There are many paths to loneliness, and many from it. But in your case, there are only two paths before you.”

“And what are those?” Morgoth asked. He knew the answer, but things tend to sound different aloud or from others.

“The path of life, the path of death,” Orome replied. “The path of love, the path of hatred. Devastation. Resurrection. Will you let the actions of the few decide the fate of many? Or will you look to those who have shown kindness, and follow suit?”

Morgtoh thought a moment. “At first, that was the question,” he said thoughtfully. “But there’s more than just that. Mom always said I would do great things for the people of Elibe. But what great things? What can I do for them? What is best for them? Should I help them rebuild or should I become a ruthless killer, hated but bringer of peace?” He looked at the ground, engrossed in his thoughts.

“Perhaps you won’t know until you get there,” Orome said, breaking Morgoth from his thoughts. “When your mother said that, she had hoped it was through good and kindness. But sometimes a harsher approach is required. Either way, we’ll be proud of you.” He smiled, tears coming to his eyes. “You know, I always hated that I couldn’t give you a better life.” They looked at each other. “But now I see it didn’t matter. You’ll do good for the world. I just hope they see it that way.”

[Morgoth Animus]

Morgoth woke suddenly, startling some nearby birds. He looked at the sky. Hardly anytime had passed, but his back hurt from falling. I'll know when I get there? he thought as he sat up. I need to talk to Mortin and Kade. But first...

Morgoth stood and unclipped his Flux, flipping it open. He began to chant and an orb appeared by his head. It shrank at it's center point. He arced his free away from himself and a marble-sized object rocketed off toward a tree. It expanded on impact. He made his way over.

Devistating as always, Morgoth thought, fingering the hole in the tree. It was almost big enough to put his head through. But anyone with half a brain could dodge it. I have work to do.

[Morgoth Animus]

Morgoth threw himself down by the fire. Kade was cooking dinner while Mortin polished his shoulder guard. Morgoth had spent the rest of the day trying various ideas for new attacks and polishing old ones. He was particularly proud of his shield. I suppose it's more of a barrier, he thought, putting his jacket on. It won't actually protect me, but anyone walking through it is in for a nasty surprise.

"Alright, dinner's ready," Kade said, taking the animals from the spit. He handed a plate with two each on it. What is this? Morgoth questioned himself, looking at it. I think it's best not to ask. They all dug in, and it was suprisingly delicious.

"This is great!" Mortin said, patting Kade on the back.

"Ya, it's amazing," Morgoth said, not wanting to sound rude to his new henchmen friends. They ate in silence for a while. "So," Morgoth said, breaking the silence, "What's going on in Lycia? I've heard many things about Ostia and Laus."

"Well," Mortin began with a lick of his lips, " Word is that Ostia is gone, And Laus is in shambles. There's been refugees everywhere, and bandits. The other cities and districts can barely deal with the refugees, let alone the bandits. They're short on men and supplies. Its a catastrophe." He was shaking his head.

"I see..." Morgoth said, a thoughtful look on his face. "This is problematic. Ok, I'll help you guys with your plan, but you've got to listen to me. This is gonna be hard enough with only three of us. I'm guessing you've no friends that could or would help, sense your here alone. Well, first we'll need men, and to get men we need to earn some respect."

"You sound as if you've done this before," Mortin comented. Morgoth paled.

"Uhhh, no, it was just on my mind today while I was training," Morgoth said quickly. I don't want them finding out about... that. "So, well train for a few days and then head off to find destiny!" Wow, that sounded better in my head.

"Uhhhh.... leave the epic sounding stuff to us," Kade said while Mortin snickered. "We even came up with a name for our little group while we were training. It's great, you'll love it!"

"What, what is it?" Morgoth asked earnestly, grabbing the chance to change the subject. "It better not be anything ridiculous."

"We'll tell you when the time comes," Mortin said, snickering as he got into his sleeping bag. "Night!" They both went to sleep, no matter how much Morgoth bugged them. Great! This is gonna be a long adventure.

End Thread. Continued in "It begins....."