Mr. Bones' Wild Ride [Elesia/Vivi]

[Elesia]

Blaaaaaaaargh.

The errant damsel of destruction stared morosely at the canopy of green overhead, bored to the point of seriously considering starting a ruckus just to get someone to pay attention to her. A little fire here, some wind there, a minor apocalypse and a half... ugh. But Hal would yell at her if she set too much on fire at once.

Also she was lost.

But that wasn't really a big problem. Elesia was a firm believer in wandering until she got somewhere, and it usually worked out sooner or later. Plus she could super skate now so she wasn't actually all that worried about being late. Ok, granted, she still hadn't figured out how to fly... or glide... or actually do anything COOL, but as long as she didn't lose concentration she could move pretty quick for a bit.

That thing where she couldn't do fire AND wind at once was bothering her, though, and she'd never set herself on fire half a dozen times today alone trying to figure out how to fix that. So far, no luck.

Ughhhhh something HAPPEN. At this point she would take a monster attack over this. No one even came by this way to terrorize, it seemed like. Just the occasional cow. And those were surprisingly hard to tip.

[Deleted]

Who's going on another adventure? Vivi is! Where? Somewhere she wished she didn't agree to investigate...

The village back there was afraid of some spook story about some haunted house. But considering that the young woman fought zombie miners and a giant gorgon that's likely given her twenty-four nightmares at this point, this wasn't something...entirely out of her way. Ghosts and zombies were two different things, and even if they existed like monsters, they probably weren't as terrifying. Or so she says. Granted, she was still nervous as hell...aaaaand she was going all by herself. If only the Kyyneltya brothers and that weird sacaean were around to help her with her little "adventure" like last time, she'd at least not feel like if a skeleton jumped on her back, someone would not be there to kick it off. But the chances of some walking skeleton being there was slim to none...right?

The purple haired mage sighed, not really hastening her steps one bit. The more she thought about this, the less she actually wanted to do this. She just wanted to check it out and see if anything was going on there since no one else wanted to. And it wasn't like she actually needed to go back. But then people would assume that zambies or something ate her if she never returned...eh, she'll just leave it to their imagination. Okay, so where was the next road split?

"Hmm?" But she probably needed a little break before heading out now, seeing a tree nearby and at least had a small sandwich she was saving for a moment like this. What a better time to do so than now? Even though the haunted house wasn't too far away from where she was, she didn't have to rush there. Deciding to walk closer to the tree, she took a seat and wasn't really bothering to check her surroundings. But if something happened to her out here, better than it did here than over there at that house. She literally didn't know what to expect when she gets there...

[Elesia]

Elesia, for her part, was engaged in a fierce battle of wits with undulating bark of the tree branch directly above her.

She was losing.

"Mrgrgr," she mumbled under her breath in a tone that could cut a man in half, or maybe even into quarters, with a single word. But she was responsible, so instead of saying a word, she said three parts of a half-word, and that averaged out to slightly under a word. Prrrrrobably. She was seriously considering arson - of a tree, granted, which lowered it on the general badass-o-meter of crimes - before the noise of... noise roused her from her boredom-induced psychosis.

She couldn't really see very well through the foliage,... so after carefully biding her time with stillness so great that she could have passed for dead - Elesia was a great many things, and VERY patient when she had to be was one of them - she thought up a plan, immediately discarded it, and rolled off the edge of the branch in one sinuous motion, hooking her feet over the branch as a cascade of green hair and bright green eyes and flesh all spilled out of the tree right in front of Vivian, looking like either a ghost, a serial killer, or a serial killing ghost.

Who was smiling like either a serial killer, or an insane person, or an insane serial killer.

"HI!" It was sort of like an air raid siren of unending jubilation and excitement. Her voice, that was. Realizing for once that she had maybe been a bit loud, Elesia lowered her voice slightly, albeit continuing on in exactly the same tone. "I'm Elesia! What's your name?"

[Deleted]

Vivian reached into her small bag as she was ready to eat her lunch...until she kept her hand in midway when some noise above was distracting her. May have just been an animal or something, but before she could even ignore it, all she saw in front of her was some green and a very insane-looking smile. "...BWAAAAAAAH!!" Dropping her bag, she immediately planted her back against the tree, feeling like she just had a heart attack so severe that it was like it never happened...which it didn't, but still. She took a moment to settle down...a bit before realizing the "surprise" was actually a girl hanging upside down. "My GOD! Don't DO THAT! Who goes dropping out of a tree like a dang monkey?!" Apparently teenage girls who were weirder than her.

...And that was quite a feat on it's own. Vivian never met anyone weirder than her and grandpa, but this just took it on a completely different level. This should be a lesson for her to be aware of her surroundings, but how in the world was she supposed to know someone was up there? She wasn't even sure if she was still hungry after that, her heart likely racing faster than her stomach saying "feed me". Okaaaay, time to calm down. Or at least try to. She wanted to scream some more to get it all out, but she chose to lock it all up inside until she could calm herself. She had to check twice to make sure she actually wasn't have a heart attack or something.

One big sigh. Calm enough to actually speak again, she was at least paying attention to the girl's words, not really sure if she should move or not, but knowing she needed to respond. "I'm Vivian. Now...PLEASE DON'T DO THAT AGAIN!"

[Elesia]

"Ahahahahaha!" The laughter of a madwoman... or just Elesia. She was getting pretty into it, possibly as a result of the blood pooling in her head. "I DARE. Also what's a monkey?" Seriously, what the heck was a monkey? It sounded... disappointing and not at all as amazing as her. But then to be fair, most things were. It was hard to be so goldurned awesome, but SOMEONE had to do it, and in her infinite wisdom she had taken it upon herself to bear that heavy burden for mankind.

Elesia swung back and forth lazily, much like a jack-in-the-box that had spent its initial burst of frenzied music before... swinging back and forth lazily. That analogy had been better in her head. Metaphor? Simile? Wait, it was still on her head... but she wasn't sure which was which. That whole 'never went to school' thing didn't work out well sometimes in terms of grammars. Grammering. Whatever. Point was she was awesome and usually managed to word right 'cuz of what she had read, but pronouncing and using words was kinda hard sometimes.

Oh right Vivi was still there. "Vivian... naiviv... vivi... you know that's kinda fun to say. Vivi. Vivivi. Vivivivivivivivivivivivivivi." She was still smiling, still upside down, but starting to sway a little... precipitously. Her legs were pretty strong and all, but her head was starting to get fuzzy. Clearly proof she hadn't set anything on fire in too long. "Obviously I can't do that again, silly, first meetings only happen once! Or twice, sometimes, if you hit your head hard enough. ...Not that I would know. So..."

Her legs were getting cramped enough that Elesia just gave up, swinging hard forwards, backwards, and then doing a backflip as she released herself from the branch, landing a few feet back on both feet, arms outstretched, with only a brief puff of wind that revealed she had cheated like a no good dirty cheater. "...Whatcha doin'?"

[Deleted]

"Wh...wha?" ...Okaaaaay, she didn't know what a monkey was. She wasn't even sure if she was supposed to actually answer that question. What was even more odd was Elesia saying her shortened name repeatedly in such a manner that...honestly made her want to crack up, but she resisted. This was quite frankly the weirdest person she's met. Though if she told her grandfather about the girl, she wouldn't be surprised if he rushed from home all the way to find Elesia and challenge her to a weird-off. Was that even a thing?! She was pretty sure the golden medal would have went to either of those two in a heartbeat. Goodness, her imagination goes all over the place sometimes that she couldn't help it. Maybe it was because of this girl's influence this time...

But at the same time, Vivian found it difficult to actually get angry with the girl. She was so odd and somewhat clueless, but at the same time...innocent...in a way that she couldn't quite put her finger on just yet. A big sigh of defeat escaped her, deciding to allow Elesia's words to go over her head and at least keep the conversation going. What WAS she doing, anyway? Her getting the bananas scared out of her made her lose her train of thought...or all of her thoughts, to be fair. Well, she saw her bag in the grass as she hesitantly retrieved it while looked back to the girl. "Weeeeeeell, I was in the middle of eating my lunch right now...until I suddenly lost my appetite. So, I guess I'll just have to eat it later and...keeping going." The young woman pointed her finger in the general direction of where she was supposed to be going.

What was she to tell Elesia, though? She seemed like a curious girl, so Vivi wasn't sure if telling her about the haunted house was such a good idea. "Just takin' care of some...business! Over at a home at the end of that road." Well, while she was lying, it wasn't exactly lie at the same time. Business she wished she didn't have to do, but the thrill of the adventure was just calling to her!

[Elesia]

"Well, eating is important. The most important! I heard that you're supposed to have three meals a day, which is dumb, because then what happens if you're hungry and you had three meals? YOU STARVE TO DEATH. Or not. But you never know, man, you NEVER KNOW."

Elesia wasn't really thinking about much of anything while rambling, she was just happy enough to have SOMEONE to interact with that what they talked about wasn't that important. And the lady was pretty, though weirdly... purple. Why would anyone choose to be purple? Green was clearly a much better color, purple was just poor taste. And BAD TASTE was all that most of Elibe was familiar with, apparently. Seriously, not enough green.

She took a break from rambling to stretch, bending her head back as far as she could while twisting it to the side with a bit of a crack. Lying in that tree for so long was gonna kill her. Hopefully not literally. Any mention of food was enough for laser guided Elesiavision(tm) to kick in. "sssssssssssSSSSSSSSSSSO anyways... you gonna eat all that?" Probably, but it never hurt to ask. "And what kind o' business? The kind you solve with FIRE AND BRIMSTONE or the boring kind?"

Maybe it was a home to the denizens of death and darkness and despair and... uh, she couldn't think of any more fitting d-words. Derp? Deliverance? Damnation? Yeah damnation was good. Death and darkness and despair and damnation. And derp. "'Cuz if you need help fighting the forces of evil, I'm secretly a great hero masquerading as an unassuming mortal child so I could totally give you some backup and stuff."

[Deleted]

"Okay...what?"

Great, now she was confused. Vivian wasn't sure if she should continue the odd conversation, or just make a run for it and act like Elesia never existed. Just a very realistic dream that she could probably forget in the next day or two....well, crap. That won't work. But the girl sure did have quite the...imagination. Vivi was finally able to admit that she'd finally met her match when it comes to weirdness...and overall cheerfulness, too. Even she was left dumbfounded after all of this. She'd have to find someway to craft Elesia a golden medal and give it to her as a reward. When she thought about it, even her grandfather couldn't compete with her. The fact that she thought he even stood a chance at being more odd was somewhat lost on her at this point.

"Uhhhhh..." Well, she certainly wasn't hungry and more, and she didn't even take a bite out of the sandwich yet. She silently sighed, not really knowing what else to do but pass the warped up sandwich to Elesia. "Uh, n-no...if you want it, you can have it. I'm not very hungry." Well, there goes lunch. Guess when she got the living crap scared out of her earlier, her stomach must have died or something. How cruel! But then Elesia asked about the "business". This time, her sigh was much louder, still not entirely sure if she wanted to tell the girl or not. On the other hand, she might be able to handle whatever could be in that house. And she wasn't too sure how this girl could fight, but...she must have had a way somehow.

Picking up the empty bag now, Vivian stared at the direction she was supposed to be heading. "Weeeeeeell, maybe both? That village back there wanted someone to check out the house down this road. Apparently it's haunted and stuff. Not...exactly sure why I agreed to check it out, but natural curiosity dragged me into saying yes." Yes, her sense for ADVENTURE will get her killed one day. "But they wanted someone to make sure it was clear so it could be used again for some noble family. But if it really is haunted, no one knows what could be living in there. Soooo...here I am."

[Elesia]

Like a shark that had spotted a bare behind, Elesia leaped at the unassuming sandwich with ferocity and brutality unmatched by mankind, teeth first, masterfully snatching it in her mouth while airborne. She then proceeded to hurtle past Vivi like a bear-shark-hybrid missile while twisting in the air and redirecting the wind to right herself... before messing it up, falling to the ground, and ducking, covering, and rolling in a small ball before popping up, more or less unscathed except for a few grass stains on her dress. Sandwich still in mouth, obviously, and one hand casually(?) righting it from the skewed position it had been in after her little caper.

"Thrmrghfble," she said, completely certain that Vivivivi could understand her plentiful gratitude. She had been powerful hongreh, almost to the point of eating Vivi though she wasn't actually sure if she could fit that much purple into her gapping gullet. Hey, that kinda rhymed! Elesia smiled, both out of the sheer bliss of food, her own overwhelming wit, and her vague attempts to express gratitude to Vivi through a faceful of food. She was still busy eating, so it wasn't really much of a smile, but it was something. Something horrifying.

Surprisingly enough though, despite her antics, she was still listening attentively to Vivian's little story about haunted houses and nobles. It sounded like... ADVENTURE. And a true hero never shirked from adventure!

"Mrghble glrgh trff," she stated gleefully, before remembering her mouth was still full. The sandwich was nowhere to be seen, fed into her mouth like a conveyor belt of carnage. Damn she was good at rhyming today. Elesia wasn't sure what a conveyor belt was, but it sounded appropriate. She swallowed everything else in one swift gulp, to the accompaniment of another shark reference. "I mean, I'll help!"

[Deleted]

"...Weird. You are freakin' weird. This time, she couldn't hold it back. She couldn't resist the urge to giggle, then eventually laugh a little at the girl's wacky antics. She still didn't know what to think about her, but for some reason, she was at least able to relax now. The most Elesia could do to her is probably give her a heart attack either from laughter...or fear from the girl being herself. But Elesia mentioned wanting to help her. Hmm...could she even fight? It was a little hard to swallow considering it was difficult to tell if the girl was serious or not. She wasn't really trying to look the girl up and down, but at the moment, she didn't see any kind of weaponry on her. She wondered what bizarre way Elesia handled combat. It was curious enough for her to ask for details.

...Actually, on second thought, she'd rather not ask.

She probably ate people, considering how she murdered that sandwich so quickly. Naaaaaah. She may have been weird, but she doubt the girl was a cannibal...hopefully not. Vivi shook her head to drop the retarded thoughts and focused on the topic. "Oh, um. I appreciate the help and all, but...who knows what I'll run into inside that house. I don't wanna see you get hurt, either. So please, you should go home. Do your parents know you're way out here alone?" ...Wait a minute. Why WAS Elesia out here, anyway? This was like, out in the middle of nowhere last she checked, and the village she left from is miles away from where they are. Well, that was probably one of those questions she shouldn't ask. Out of minding her business (despite not knowing how to stay out of people's business anyway) and...for the sake of her own sanity.

[Elesia]

"Hal says I'm unique, not weird. Calling people weird isn't very nice. Unless it's true, anyways. Which it isn't, because if I was Weird I wouldn't be Elesia, and then I wouldn't be me, and that's not true, so obviously I'm Elesia!" Elesia, as she had just gone to great efforts to prove through elementary logic, puffed up in pride at her own brilliance. She wasn't entirely clueless as to what Vivi had meant, but she hadn't really gotten a feeling of meanness from Vivian's comment, so rather than get mad about it like she did sometimes when people did it the mean way, she just deflected the comment with her weirdness.

The irony of that plan was lost on her.

"Don't got a home," she reflexively croaked in response to Vivian's question. "I travel with Hal now! Usually. Sometimes. I mean, not right now, obviously," she paused to roll her eyes, "and I had awesome adventures with Zach and the bandits and awakened my true powers as a hero, but usually I'm with Hal!" Perhaps someday Elesia would learn the value of not namedropping everyone she had ever met. Today was not that day. Tomorrow wasn't looking too good either. "Elibe is my mistress, and I her valiant - wait can continents be female or would that be, like, a dude thing?"

It was really a good thing she had her priorities straight. Communication was for nerds, non-ironically asking what gender the planet was was clearly a more important topic. "Like, with pirates, ships are female, but... uh anyways haunted house is AWESOME, let's go! I'll punch a zombabo so hard they go boom."

[Deleted]

"Oh. Uh...huh...interesting. I...I'm sorry for calling you weird then..." She had no idea who the people were she named, but...friends, she had to assume? Vivi wanted to just ask, but didn't really know how to. But at the very least, she somehow understood what Elesia was getting at. Guess it just took one unique person to understand another unique person? ...Nah, Vivian knew that she herself was weird. God, Elesia made her think too much. And thinking was basically Vivian's worst enemy. Thinking and logic was the bane of her existence...not really, but whatever. Though from the look of things, it seemed like she's got herself yet another new...interesting friend. Seriously though, she needed to like, bring this girl home with her and have her meet gramps. They'd get along...so perfectly she'd have to write a book about it.

Welp. Guess that settled that. Though what bothered her a little was that Elesia said she didn't have a home. Nosy Vivian wanted to poke her nose in other people's business again and ask her why she was initially by herself, but the girl seemed quite cheerful. Maybe it wasn't something bad? Or maybe she was like Vivi and just simply doesn't know anything? Eh. All she could do is wonder, but at this time, she had enough sense to not say anything. Apparently it isn't bothering Elesia at all.

"Well, if that's the case, then I guess I've got nothin' else to say but welcome aboard! This house I'm going to is apparently haunted, but...I don't think anything's going to happen. I-I think..." Well, this was going to be even more crazy than she thought it would be. Looks like they weren't too far away from their destination though, so Vivi just removed herself form her comfortable spot in the grass and began walking on the road. But she halted as soon as something crossed her mind, a look of uneasiness on her face as she slowly turned her head around to Elesia as she smiled slightly. "Oh and uh...if we do run into something creepy, y-you're going to stay by my side, right?" God dammit, the coward in her comes out at the worst times.

[Elesia]

"Awesome!" She was glad that was settled. Vivian was wise beyond her years to recognize the value of taking the great hero of time along with her as bodyguard and buddy all in one - Elesia was certain that her phenomenal cosmic power could keep both of them safe from any manner of vile murder hobo. The irony of that choice of mental words was, unfortunately, entirely lost on her.

She had no idea how the scrawny purple chick was gonna protect herself though... maybe Vivian was a princess or something, and she needed a guardian? Or maybe she just wasn't very smart and had no idea what sort of terrors lurked behind the pall of eternity. Or maybe she was like, a ninja or something, and she was super smart and just made people think she was unarmed. ...Whoa. Elesia suddenly had a lot more respect for her now, trying to subtly gauge where the millions of, like, throwing stars and swords and stuff where hidden, and by subtly she meant... not subtly at all.

Apparently Vivian was REALLY good at her job tho, 'cuz she didn't see anything. It seemed like all the people she ran into were secretly total badass, Hal had his stabby stick, Zach had his magic hands, even Lardes had his sword. Maybe Vivi summoned frogs to eat people or something. OH WELL. Elesia grabbed Vivi's hand, pulling her in the direction of the house (probably) with slightly more force than was entirely comfortable - while Elesia was nowhere near superhuman strength, she did havea total lack of common sense, and that was basically a superpower, right? "Let's go, let's go! That house aint gonna bedoozle itself!"

"By the way, what's a haunted?"

[Deleted]

"Uhh..." Vivian was a little paralyzed by Elesia checking her out. She wanted to ask, but she felt like she was better off not knowing...and she was absolutely okay with that idea! At this point, the girl game off as completely harmless...at least she hoped so. That heart attack she nearly gave her earlier still had her slightly shaken up. Either that, or Vivian knew she was a much bigger coward than she admitted to. She had potential ghosts and stuff to deal with in her little crazy adventure ahead, so that was more of her worries...which on that subject, Elesia had suddenly grabbed hold of Vivi's arm as she was eager to go on ahead to the mansion. Well...she could use Elesia's courage to go to a place like that.

...Or maybe not. She didn't seem to know what it meant for a place to be haunted. Though to be fair, speaking from a realistic point of view...nothing in this world couldn't POSSIBLY be haunted. Really, there was no real proof that ghosts and stuff existed, so maybe that's a good reason to know what what it means! ...Until she remembered that zombies and crap have pretty much taken over parts of Lycia. Not to mention she's fought quite a few of them herself. Well, when she put it that way, that just made her more afraid now. But...she couldn't chicken out now. Not after getting Elesia's hopes up.

"Well, um...haunted is when evil spirits and dead people are...running wild in buildings and stuff. So, basically...ghosts and possibly spooky undead stuff like walking skeletons..." Oh god, she shivered when she said that. It wasn't the best explanation ever, but the fact that they COULD run into stuff like that just sent chills down her spine already.

[Elesia]

"Ohhh!" Elesia brightened up immediately, which was actually a pretty impressive feat given that she had already been giving the sun a close run for its money. "So like, revenants and stuff!" She said the words as if there was nothing wrong with the concept whatsoever, completely unconcerned about the implications of her familiarity with the walking dead. "Psshhhht, no one's scared of them, you just set them on fire or sic Hal on 'em and he takes care of beeswax," she continued glibly, completely unaware of her accidental usage of beeswax instead of business.

Ha ha... really, what kind of wuss would be scared of evil spirits? They totally didn't exist or anything. Only the walking dead, abominations of magic that swept across the continent like a plague. The thought that she might run into something she COULDN'T set on fire had barely even occurred to Elesia, and she carried on as if it didn't exist.

"Guess we'll have to Bern it down, eh?" She nudged Vivian with the world's widest crap-eating grin. "EH? Anyways let's go take care of your zombabo problem, I'm totally a professional murderator to the problem of the undead. They call me... the final solution." Hey, that actually sounded pretty cool. She was gonna have to remember that one. But maybe not final. That sounded like just the last thing you tried. She was the BEST thing they tried. Ultimate solution? The Elesia Solution? Code Elesia? Damn, she was totally gonna have books written about her and everything. "What are you waiting for? C'mon, those suckers aren't gonna take care of themselves!"