Facing the Past (Tiz/Tamaya)

[Tiz]

Once the unconscious girl had been handed off to the doctor, the town guard had assured the two travelers that she would be cared for well, and that her home would be found and she would be sent back immediately. Tiz was thankful... At least she hadn't died in the encounter, and that's more than could be said for the bandits they had met in the forest. He almost considered it all in a day's work, but still, he couldn't deny that the blood of the bandits on his hands weighed him down a bit. While he was a trained killer, it oftentimes weighed on him that he was so capable, that he could take life without wincing. He was becoming desensitized... No, he had already become desensitized. Dak did that to him. The League did that to him.

He breathed a heavy sigh of relief, stepping out of the wooden building that the doctor housed himself and his patients in. No serious injuries; the girl would be fine. It was the best news he'd heard all day. But now that night was upon them, Tiz figured it was about time to post up for the night. He still had Tamaya with him, though, and didn't quite know where she was from... And he couldn't even remember why she had approached him in the first place. He felt bad about having roped her into so much trouble, having put her life in danger-- but she was capable, thank the gods, and she had proved that. Tiz felt himself in good company.

Good company, though, still had its drawbacks. This woman was not only Sacaean, but she was a member of his tribe. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't remember her from his childhood... Granted, Tiz had spent his teenage years being fairly antisocial, the opposite of what he was now, which was a great surprise. Moving to Lycia had certainly opened him up, despite the racism he and his family sometimes faced. He wondered how the woman fared, but was afraid to ask anything that might uncover his secrets. With any luck, he could remain anonymous, but he wondered... Talking about things might help him feel better. She seemed wise... It might relieve the tension in his heart, the separation he felt from his homeland, which he rarely traveled to anymore due to his feelings of break between himself, his clan, and his nation. When he thought hard about it, it made him sad. He was never sad.

He turned to Tamaya, with an authentic smile. "Well, glad that's taken care of. One damsel in distress saved," he joked. "What next?"

[Tamaya]

The chaotic fight was concluded, the girl was delivered to the medicine man safely, and the guard was alert and well. All was fine. The Wyvern Rider had soared off, and Tamaya was left with Tizato Ciel. Ciel... A last name that was familiar to her. Some in her tribe bore that last name, and there was some resemblance she saw in that man's face to faces that floated up from memories of her childhood. Why did the name and the face seem to resonate so well? There was something about Tizato Ciel that seemed to ring a bell, deep down in her mind. But she could not place it. So when he spoke, his voice light with jest, she was surprised to see in his eyes a twinge of what she fancied was melancholy, anxiety, something of the bluer sort.

"Indeed. It is good, that we have done well. The responsibility now lies with the men of medicine and the guards. What next? That is a good question, Tizato. I am not sure what comes next. I assume that we should simply rest, but I am a little too high strung at the moment to just go to sleep. So... Would you care to just get a little bite to eat, or a drink? I would enjoy spending time relaxing with you, and I'm sure you have many interesting stories to tell. You probably have had a much more exciting time than I have, if your charging into adventure means anything..."

Tamaya laughed lightly. She would love to have a quick drink with the man.

[Tiz]

Tiz laughed an authentic, big belly laugh. She was right. "Oh, stories to tell... Hah, you don't know the half of it." He weighed his options in his head silently for a moment, puffing out one of his cheeks with air, hands in his pockets. "Hmmm," he thought aloud. Sure, a drink would be nice, and he enjoyed alcohol occasionally, but bars weren't quite his style. He hadn't eaten in a long time, and there were still a few old haunts that he knew were open. Dinner might be nice. If the woman prodded for information, Tiz decided, it might be well for his health to talk. He hadn't ever talked before, except very briefly to Myscha... and that night had ended strangely. He didn't hope for the same sort of talk as that night. It didn't help his heart.

"You know," he said, finally looking over to Tamaya. "There's a good place I know down the road if you like lamb. It's light, easy on the stomach, pretty tasty-- if you haven't had it before. Anyway, yeah, let's get a bite to eat. I can tell ya a thing or two, but only if you share your stories too." He began to walk. He was anxious, but only slightly so. He didn't get vibes from this woman that said he would be judged-- she seemed fair, and honest, and willing to understand other mindsets. After all, she was a Sacaean in Lycia, which wasn't the happiest place a Sacaean could go. He wondered what her reasons for being here were.

As the two stepped inside the restaurant, they were greeted by a butler dressed rather nicely. Tiz had some coin on him-- it wouldn't be any trouble to pay for a nice dinner. He hadn't splurged in a while. "Two," he said with a grin, holding up two fingers to the butler, who lead them quietly to their table.

[Tamaya]

"Ah, that would be nice. Lead on."

As the man walked, Tamaya gently patted Shikoba, allowing her steed to melt back away to the outskirts of town. He would find his own food, and rest until she called again.

Quickening her step, she managed to catch up to Tizato and then fell in step beside him as they entered the restaurant. It seemed like quite the nice place, and the atmosphere was warm and inviting. The suited man led them to a table, set precisely, and they sat, Tamaya arranging her garb before sitting and taking a moment to shamelessly peruse the man's face. He was attractive, but the most striking feature of his face was his eyes, which were large and honest. They put Tamaya at ease.

After concluding her appraisal, Tamaya nodded. She had seen enough. There were enough tell-tale features - this man bore the hallmarks of her own tribe. But why couldn't she remember him? And why did he conceal it?

Not surprisingly, Tamaya refrained from simply asking the question. The conversation would lead her there eventually, but it was not her way to press. His reasons must be considerable to withhold his heritage.

So the Nomad started down the path to it, gently pushing the proverbial snowball off of its resting place.

"You do not seem to me to be much older than I; how long did you spend in the Lycian League? I am interested to know how you came to rise to Captain, especially in what must have been no more than ten years time. It speaks well for your skill with the blade."

[Tiz]

"A drink for the sir and madam?"

His tone was polite and kind. Two qualities Tiz admired in strangers. It made him smile. He ordered water for the both of them-- other drinks could come with the food perhaps, but water was lifeblood. Tiz was sort of dense in this regard; he assumed that because he only ever drank water, so did everyone else. It was impolite, but it passed over his head more times than not.

Turning his head back to the woman, he watched her quietly, studying her as she studied him. There was no doubt about it, now that he could appraise her so closely, as she could him. On the shorter end, attractive, wide and fierce eyes... These were the qualities of his clan, at least for women. The men were typically tall and built such as he. There would be no mistaking it. He could almost feel the woman putting pieces together by the way she looked at him. Hopefully she wouldn't be hateful about his abandoning the tribe-- she seemed like the understanding type, but if he didn't have to talk about it at all, all the better. But then again, Tiz thought, maybe talking could finally put him at ease. He wasn't quite sure.

As she finally addressed him, Tiz sighed happily, grinning a bit. These questions were easy, and since he wasn't reserved, it was no problem to talk about things such as these. "Four years," he said plainly, taking his glass in his hand and gently sipping the water. "Though I was only a captain for a fraction of that time. Towards the end of my third year, anyway. So you might say the title isn't really... befitting of me," he laughed, his happy green eyes meeting hers. He swirled his glass around, watching the ice dance around inside. His gaze shifted down to the cup, fixated on the movements.

"I guess somebody somewhere thought I would be a good fit to lead the division. Maybe my superior officer, I don't know. It didn't matter much; they replaced me as soon as I left. After... well, after Ostia." His eyes grew sad, but only for a short second, as he forced himself into a happier train of thought. "I left after Ostia."

He turned back up to look at her, leaning his head against a closed fist. "And what of you?"

[Tamaya]

Tamaya nodded as her companion ordered water. Water was a wise choice, especially after the night's events. Wine was good for loosening the tongue, but there was plenty of time to get there. For now, she just had to slowly figure out what his story was. She loved good stories.

And so as he began to tell of his years in the service of Lycia, Tamaya listened. Her eyes had the quality of seeming to listen even more so than her body as a whole - the way they seemed to gently peel away at the outer layers, searching for what lay buried within... They conveyed rapt attention.

And then the story abruptly ended. It seemed that Ostia held unhappy memories for the man. Understandable; from the tales she had heard, Ostia was... awful. Not only now, but when it was destroyed. She declined to push him any farther.

"I left the tribe only a few years ago. Perhaps three, maybe, by this point? Or two? I am unsure. I spent much of my young life and early years as a full-grown Cathecassa hunting, and I was always the first girl to volunteer to hunt or fish or trap. I loved tracking animals, loved the thrill of the chase... Then there was a great fire. It drove us far from our territory while it raged, and I became restless... So they let me go, and I began to wander. I still return frequently, to visit, but my heart and mind are not at rest only on the plains. I yearn for new paths to take.

Most recently, the whole tribe amassed to fight at the City of Heroes, in defense of the land from the forces of Hargus. All able-bodied men and women rose up, uniting to defend the plains."

A brief pause... And then...

"Were you there? Forgive me, but... You seem to be one of our own. You... You bear the hallmarks of the Cathecassa. And I... I remember you somehow, but I can't place you. I'm sorry. But you seem so familiar."

[Tiz]

Tiz listened, his hands folded together in front of him now as he rested his chin upon them, studying the woman as she spoke. She was honest and forthright, two tenants of Sacaeans that he'd known well since he could breathe. This woman was fully-blooded, fully-bred Cathecassa, he had determined that now. It was too hard to deny that fact, especially once he came to the full realization. Perhaps he had seen her before, but if he had, he certainly didn't remember. She didn't quite look familiar to him, and her name was unfamiliar as well... Perhaps he could ask his parents the next time he was in Caelin.

But then the question came. It was, of course, expected that she would probe. He wasn't surprised. He laughed nervously, separated his hands, and rapped them against the table in a little musical pattern. Was he one of them? Honestly, he wasn't sure. He had been born one of them. Tiz looked away from the woman, down at the table. He was unable to hide his emotions-- his face and body language were all too revealing, his tells obvious. "Am I one of us? I don't really know anymore," he said honestly, unsure how to identify himself. Lycia had taught him that his Sacaean birth was a hindrance, that being Lycian is what made him powerful, what made him matter. His parents had stayed silent while the military beat this ideology into him. He had accepted it, of course, and with relatively welcome arms-- he was a man of peace, and however he could obtain that would be good enough for him. But it made him conflicted.

He finally looked back up and met the woman's eyes, which expressed many of the same things that his own did. "Yes... Yes, I was raised Cathecassa. I, uh, wasn't at the City of Heroes, no..." he looked away again. "My parents weren't either. We... left when I was 16, you know, just a stupid kid, I didn't... I didn't really know what was going on." He laughed a bit, this time less nervous. It didn't hurt as much as he thought it would. "My parents didn't like that some members of the tribe felt superior to non-Sacaeans, much like many non-Sacaeans see themselves as above us. They thought it bred more hatred, and so we picked up and moved to Lycia. The most racist country on the continent. Who would've guessed?" He looked at the woman again, sort of helplessly, but with a hint or two of humor in his voice. It was honestly silly, thinking back on it.

"We moved to Caelin, and a few years after my brother was born I joined the League. They were pretty unwelcoming at first, but... I think it did them good, seeing that a Sacaean could rise through the ranks and perform as well as a Lycian, you know? I don't know, I just... We didn't fit in. I never fit in. Once I came to Lycia, I did fit in... And now, I'm worried I can never go home..."

He raised two fingers, nodding at the waiter. He needed wine.

[Tamaya]

"Yes, you are. You will always be."

The story slowly came forth, and Tamaya saw the contradictions he'd been faced with, the things that had shaped Tizato Ciel into Tizato Ciel. The tribe had been different, back then, before the fire. The fire had brought everyone back together, and they had interacted with Lycians who had been friendly.

The prejudice and bigotry was real, though, and she could not ignore the hate she knew both sides sometimes felt for each other. She remembered all too clearly the night in Araphen with Marric, the axe-wielding man who had saved her from a horde of closeminded, bigoted drunkards. She remembered the times she had been turned away from inns, or restaurants. Aye, the prejudice was real.

"But you can return. There is a way, and there always will be.

I do remember those days, before the fire, where we were much more prideful and closed. Those days have passed, and the champions of those ideals have gone back to the earth they were sculpted from. Now, we are a tribe that is more than simply a name that conveys power. We are community. An extended family.

And if you truly wish to return home, to see the land and people of your birth... I would be more than happy, Tizato Ciel, to bring you there myself. You need not be afraid. You will not be hated, or scorned, or spurned. None will whisper about you, except young girls who admire your looks. If you wish, the road is always open, and our fires never shall go out. No door is closed to you because of the choices you made or were made for you - because deep down, we are all family. We are one. Cathecassa. No tone of skin or place of youth or any such superficiality could trump that."

[Tiz]

Tiz froze again, his eyes quickly shifting back and forth between the table and the woman he was faced with. His wine had been brought, but he hadn't touched it.

"I..." he struggled to find words. He didn't shake or sob, but a single tear rolled down his cheek, slow and large. "Yeah, I guess so. I guess you're right..." He avoided her gaze. Could he really, though? Was there really a way to go back, somehow? When they'd left, it hadn't been on good terms... And they hadn't checked in, hadn't visited. Tiz and his family became totally separated from the clan, distracted by the everyday life, the city bustle, the new group of people that had taken them in, albeit reluctantly at first. How could he face them?

The way she spoke... It was so genuine, so special, and somehow, he could sense the truth in her words. He knew she was right, and yet he felt resigned to his fate, clinging to this idea that returning was impossible, that he was forever banned from his clan, from his homeland. He hadn't returned to Sacae to visit at all. He barely visited it anyway. The last time he was there, it was on the border, and only to oust some smugglers... He had left as soon as his job was done. He hadn't seen any of his old friends, who would now be of age... he hadn't told any of them that he had joined the League, or anything about his life post-departure.

He looked back to her when he spoke. "But you don't even know me. How could you know... How do you have any idea..." He wasn't angry, and neither was his tone. It was helpless, defenseless. "It's been almost a decade since we left. Since my parents packed us up with only a few words. You really don't think that... you don't think they would turn me away? You could really... bring me back there?"

His eyes were wide and desperate. It was rare he was so helpless.

[Tamaya]

He had his misgivings, still, it seemed. She had expected that. Someone gone so long undoubtedly would feel... Lost. A bit unsure. But it was her job to convey the welcome she and the rest of the tribe would have for him. They were all united... That had not always been the case, but it was now. And that is why she was so sure he would be able to return, for as long or as short as he liked, whenever.

"Of course I know you. I've known you forever and I will know you forever. Our hearts are united in our Mother Earth and Father Sky. We are one, a family. Ten years is nothing. We have been upon the plains since the dawn of the Sun, and we will be there until the Great Light comes. We would not turn you away. We would not scorn you or your choices. Every man must walk his own path, must hunt his own rabbit. We all have our own struggles, and we all have our own special successes. You must not be afraid. If you like, I could set out with you immediately. To be quite honest, Tizato, you have little need of any sort of fear. We are welcoming, and warm. You would be celebrated for your accomplishments - for rising to a position of renown amidst the jeers and mocking words of the bigots. You are no outcast, except in your own mind. And I'm sure there are some who miss you, who you'd love to be reunited with. There is a way to be whole again. You just must walk the road."

[Tiz]

OoC: In B support, we're going to Sacae for suuuuure

Tiz listened to the woman as she spoke-- the words didn't hurt like he imagined they would; they didn't have the sting of reprimand, the scorn of disloyalty, or anything he might've expected from a native, especially one of his own tribe. The way she spoke, the beauty in her poetic words... This was perhaps what he missed the most. He was so out of touch with his roots that it pained him to think about. At one point, it was all normal for him-- life on the plains, living with the tribe as it traveled, becoming one with the environment around him... It was all so wonderful. How he and his parents had loved it so... As the woman spoke, Tiz became a little lost amidst his thoughts, thinking fondly of the years he still remembered upon the plains, from as early as four or five, and as late as the moment they packed their things and traveled to Lycia.

Living in the city for so long had obviously had its effects on him. His manner of speaking, the way he acted... At times, even his very honor had been compromised in an effort to blend with what had become normal to him. This transformation was quiet, and long, but fully recognizable, especially now as he sat in the presence of one of his own. He was shocked at her benevolence, the sweetness and sincerity in her voice. Tiz looked at her, stronger now, after having taken in what she had to say, soaking in what he knew to be the truth of his situation.

Before he knew it, the host had brought their food-- two full racks of lamb, delicious looking slices of meet on silver platters with garnish and bread on the side. A favorite meal of Tiz's, and one he had waited too long to have. He smiled at the man, thanked him, and took a bite, savoring the taste he had so long gone without. He smiled at Tamaya once he had finished chewing.

"You know, I... suppose you're right." he began honestly. "I just wasn't sure, you know? I've been gone for so long, I had forgotten... that things don't only change where I go. I know that things here will change, that everything is constant motion-- the nature, the earth itself, people-- everything is always changing. And I guess I was shortsighted to think that Sacae did not also change along with everything else. The world's great clock moves on, and its people with it. My mom used to always say that..." He took another bite, then sipped his water. "We should go, Tamaya. I want to go back. I want to see them all again, if only to visit. I... wonder who might remember me, or at least my parents, since I was just in my teen years when we left, but... We should go. I would like to go. And I would like to go with you."

"I did pick my path, and I picked it a long time ago. I don't have any regrets, save for not visiting home as often as I like. I'm so distant, both physically and emotionally, from the place I once cherished as home... I want that connection again. I want to breathe in the air, as a Sacaean, not a Lycian in an old uniform. I want to cling to that part of my past, if only for a moment. Maybe if I go back, I can learn what I missed when I left."

[Tamaya]

"You need only follow your heart. A heart like yours beats strongly, Tiz. It beats, and beats, and it sings to you the path you need to go. Wherever your heart leaps, there you need to be. Whatever brings you a heavy heart is no friend to you. You must trust yourself, and all shall be well."

As the food arrived, Tamaya set to eating with a vigor and appetite that matched Tiz's. It was quite good. She relished the savory food and the careful preparation. Those who put love and dedication into their craft always seemed to produce a better end product. It was... Well, it made sense. Obviously.

That illuminating topic aside, she continued to dine as Tiz finished his idea and expressed his longing to return once more.

"I would be happy to go with you, Tiz. I would be honored to be with you when you return to our land and people, to your own land and people. You have chosen your path, and you have chosen the right path for you. Now, your path crosses mine, and I see... I see these paths leading to the sea of grass, the waving fronds... The thrill of the hunt and the wind in your hair. The longhouses, the fires, the stories, and the warm, gentle sun."

Tamaya's face glowed as she recalled Sacae.

"You can always learn. There is always learning to be done. And it is good to realize, to acknowledge that one must learn. For then the learning is not a chore, but something that brings fulfillment.

You are remarkable, Tiz. You know your missing piece."

[Tiz]

Looking down at his shirt, Tiz located where he heart would be, and fixed his eyes on it as the woman spoke about it. It was as though she could read him perfectly-- not that he was particularly hard to read; he knew he wore his heart on his sleeve, but this woman could see right through him, and talk about him as if she had known him for years. Perhaps that was her way. Perhaps that was the Cathecassa in him, the part of him that was also a part of her... The part of him that would forever be at his core, regardless of how out of touch with it he may have been for now. But he could fix that. She could help him fix that.

Before speaking, Tiz thought about home, too. He thought about the hunting, the fishing, the running, the playing he had done as a child... He thought about his childhood friends, his home, his parents, and all the fun he'd had while he lived in Sacae, before Lycia, before the League, when the only thing that mattered was what color the sky would be that night and what was being fixed for dinner, at a gathering where most of the tribe ate together. Now he ate alone. Now he lived alone, not even in Caelin, not near his parents. Laus wasn't home, regardless of the fact that he lived there. He longed to be back in these moments, in these moments that Tamaya recalled for him... He was Tizato, and she was right; Tiz, in this moment, ceased to be. He remembered his identity, how proud of it he was. He was by no means regretful of his choices, of his past... but he did long to rekindle his Sacaean being, ignite his heart in the flames of the fires around the tents at least one more time.

The man blushed a little-- uncharacteristic for him, but he couldn't help it. His cheeks flushed and he scratched the back of his head. "Remarkable, hah, I don't know about that... I just," he stopped a moment, taking a drink of his wine. Somehow he was nervous. He never got nervous. "I see in you what I want to see in myself. I've lost that part, and now I know where and how to find it. I want to live that again. I know that I'm not a kid anymore, and I know it can't be what it used to, but even if it's only once or twice, I do need to be back. I know I do. My parents would be dissatisfied, but... I need to go back. We can go together," he smiled at her, meeting her eyes again. His cheeks had returned to their normal color.

"So you," he said, waving his hand, feeling bad that he'd spent so long talking about himself. "You have lived there a while, yeah? Are you still there? Tell me what it's like." His eyes sparkled, the golden flakes in his emerald green eyes becoming more visible.

[Tamaya]

"Ah..."

That made her blush as well. She embodied what Tizato wanted to be? Flattering.

But on the subject of life on the plains? What could she tell him that he didn't already know?

"After the fire... We returned to the land of our ancestors. We hunted and fished and trapped once more. Our flocks are more numerous than ever. But as for specifics... One day sticks out in my mind. For you see, Tiz, my path too is winding. It does not stay on the plains. My path has led me to Ilia and to Lycia, to strange climes with strange people.

The day I left after my most recent visit... I set out at night. It was after the City of Heroes. We all came together, that morning, and we buried and mourned our dead. We looked at the young and the old of our tribe who had fought with bow and sword, with lance and with axe... All to fight off the horror and evil that threatened us.

We stood, Tizato, around the bonfire, watching them go from ash to ash upon that pyre. There was sadness, but there was joy. For they were going to their reward, to be one with the sky and the earth. They had done all they could, and now... It was time to rest.

And then we ate, Tiz, grouped around the light of many fires that glowed brightly even at midday. We ate and we talked, and slowly the day faded into night, as we remembered those we loved who had given so that we might live.

It was a moment of true oneness, Tizato. And you would fit in. You too are one... One of us."

[Tiz]

Tiz listened intently. The fire... he'd heard, of course, and his parents had talked to him about it, but they were long gone by the time the great fire came. That's how they had referred to it... It caused the migration of more than one tribe, if what Tiz had been told was correct. He hadn't paid much attention then, either... although his heart had been heavy. And still was. But this was good news-- what she had told him was wonderful news. He was pleased with it.

He looked town to his now-empty plate as she spoke of death. Ceremonies for the dead in Sacae varied, but for them, they were celebrations as much as they were periods of mourning. For the silver lining was that the people who had passed on, in their tradition, became ingrained into the very things which sustained them-- the earth, the water, the sunshine. It was poetic at the least, beautiful at the most. He had a particular fondness for these ways of thinking... at least he had before war and destruction had stripped it all away from him. And it didn't take long for that to happen. Ostia on its own had done that to him.

He finished his glass of wine, and then looked at the woman as she continued to speak.

Was he really one of them? Was he really one to stand by the fire and chat as though nothing had happened? If attitudes had really changed... They could move back, even. Arno could grow up on the plains; his little brother wouldn't have to be raised in Lycia. His parents could be taken back in, were this all true. It was too much for him to think on now, to consider at all, even. Right now, he wanted to listen and be amazed. To fall back into the plush of his dreams, into the reality that was his old home.

"One of you, huh?" He picked up his glass and had more water, smiling a bit while his lips surrounded the cloudy glass. "I guess I was born that way, and I hope I'll die that way. I wish I had... I wish that I were there for the fire. I wish I could've been there to help, and... the city of heroes, you know, we all heard about it, but I... it didn't work out. I was busy, I guess." His gaze shifted away. Busy indeed. Busy watching the lives of those close to him end too abruptly.

He raised a hand, and the host came with dessert. Two chocolate and cheese filled pastries, one for each of them. TIz smiled at the man, accepting his food happily, and took a bite. How delicious.

"It's getting late. We should finish these quickly; I've got a lot on my mind, and I think I should sleep on it all. Do you have a place to stay?"